ficeler37's Passion Projects

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 17:27:41 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part XII)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: R
Word count: 2295

Summary: The question is - how much skin can you make Natsuki show?

Lesson number 1 – Never make promises you can’t keep. Very near future turns out to be one month and sixteen days. But I hope the length and content of the chapter will make up for the long wait. To those in college, it’s midterm season, so good luck with your exams! Disclaimer: I don't work for a credit card company. Don't get it? Wait till you finish reading this chapter.
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The photo shoot has finally reached its climax point. In between Shizuru walking in and out of the changing room, the story of the soldier and the temptress has progressed from one-sided longing, to timid stolen glances, to mutual appreciation. It is time to create the catalogue backcover that illustrates the ending of this romantic fable where the main characters abandon all inhibitions and let their desire take the rein.

“Somebody push the leather sofa to the center!” Armani is busy playing around with his treasured camera as he barks out commands. His head is bent low like a mad scientist conducting a deadly experiment. “Kuga-san, I would need you to remove some of your clothing for this final photo.”

“By some, you mean?” Skeptical glare.

“Down to those high quality boxers that you changed into, please. Next I need you to lie down on your stomach on the sofa.” Still not looking up.

“First my bra, now my wife-beater and my baggy jeans? Even Shizuru has more fabric to cover her body!”

“But if you were to pick who has the highest average surface area of skin shown in each photo, Fujino-san still beats you by a mile.”

“Argh, screw the math! I’m not some porn star, period.”

“Kuga-san, let me reassure you that the only thing the readers see will be your bare back and nothing more. Just so you know, I have already modified the models’ postures to keep you from being too exposed. From the concept meeting, the female model was supposed to straddle the male model by the waist while she caresses him on the chest as he lies comfortably on the sofa. Would you prefer me to ask Fujino-san to sit on your stomach and massage your breasts?” Armani turns his head and calls out towards the dressing room. “FUJINO-SAN!”

“I heard my name. Were you two talking trash about me behind my back?” With an intricately embroidered red lace bra and matching mini g-string, Shizuru narrows her eyes jokingly as she walks towards the bickering duo.

“Shizuru! No no no, you got it all wrong. We were uhm …” Oh … wow … LOOK UP! LOOK UP! Her face is the center of the universe!

“Ah, Fujino-san. This ensemble looks lovely on you. I was just asking Kuga-san if she would prefer …”

“Ahhhhhhh.” In a moment of panic, Natsuki unzips in a flash and jumps out of her jeans.

Everyone in the room stops in their tracks, drawn simultaneously to the impromptu strip show.

“Ants in my pants?” What kind of pathetic excuse is that? Even Doctor Seuss won’t approve! “C’mon, we don’t have time to mess around. Shizuru, get into position.”

“Ara, am I missing something? What position?” The way Shizuru stares at the younger girl’s boxers-look mirrors Columbus’s excitement when he discovered America. As soon as this stupid double date is over, we are heading over to the closest department store to stock up some boxers. This is beyond hotness!

“Just come sit on me.”

“Oh …” She wants me. She wants me. She wants me …

While Shizuru is zoning out like an overheated robot, Natsuki grabs her by the wrist and pulls her towards the fancy couch. No time to waste. I can’t risk reverting back to our previous conversation topic. Within seconds, the blue haired girl is already lying on her stomach on the sofa, secretly enjoying the cool smooth feeling of leather on her long naked legs.

Inches away from the sexiest woman alive (in her humble opinion), Shizuru stands still, her thundering heartbeats drowning out her thoughts. Sure we’ve had our fair share of physical contact, but most of the time, it’s either on my initiative or it’s an innocent accident, but this … Natsuki’s open invitation to be in such a provocative pose … what if it gets a little too warm down there? With my lacy mini g-string, will Natsuki be able to … Unholy thoughts ravage Shizuru’s mind like an unstoppable whirlpool.

“Shizuru?” When the expected pressure on her back never came, Natsuki buries her face between her forearms in embarrassment as she whispers harshly to the immobile Kyoto woman. “Straddle me on the back already. I can feel goosebumps on my legs.”

All layers of mental restraints that tame the beast within Shizuru are instantly dismantled. There is no turning back. “Natsuki is so eager to let me ride you like a pony, ho ho.” Taking her time in order to savor every brush between their skins, she swings her legs over to the far side of the sofa and lowers herself just above Natsuki’s firm buttocks.

“Argh.” Natsuki resists the urge to hit her best friend with the back of her heel. Let’s just get this over with quickly.

And there I thought Kuga-san was a prude. What a pleasant surprise! I was going to ask Shizuru-san to sit on the sofa. But this is even better.

“What are you waiting for, Armani? Just take the goddamn photo already.” Natsuki has no intention to hide the annoyance in her speech.

“How can I snap the picture when one of the models is not even ready?”

What is it now? Natsuki twists her head to scan Shizuru from head to hips, trying to locate clues as to why her best friend is not ready. Looks mighty fine to me. In confusion, she turns her attention to Armani who is pulling on his shirt like he is trying to test out its nonexistent elasticity. Shit …

“Natsuki, did Mr. Armani ask you to be …” TOPLESS??? Must … think … unsexy … thoughts … Tadpole, tadpole, tadpole, nipple … STOP!

“No way, Armani. This is as far as I’ll go. I’m not taking my shirt off.” Natsuki is alarmed to see Armani rolling up his sleeves. “You come near me with your filthy hands and I’ll chew them right off.” To reinforce her threat, she gives him a menacing smile which shows off her naturally sharp canine teeth.

“Now now, let’s talk like the civil people that we are before we resolve to a barbaric fist fight. I’m willing to compromise. How about we just lift up the back of your top a little? No harm done, right?” Let’s see you chew off the hands of … “Fujino-san, would you mind pushing the offending article up just a couple inches?”

Normally Shizuru will not do something so intimate without Natsuki’s consent, but with her distracted state of mind, she finds her hands moving by their own will.

“I haven’t even said …” The tingling sensation on her lower back halts her sentence. Involuntarily, Natsuki closes her eyes.

With painfully slow speed, Shizuru pushes her fingers underneath white cotton, catching the inner seam with her elegant knuckles. As she massages Natsuki’s spine with the skills that will make the most handsomely paid massage therapist cry in shame, more and more of Natsuki’s dangerously soft skin is revealed.

Cold fingers, was Natsuki’s first thought. So cold that they burn … With each feather-light touch, her body temperature rises a few degrees. The blue haired girl wants to scream, but there is a communication breakdown between her mind and her body. The only movement of which she is capable is to shiver beneath the temptress’s magical strokes.

While Kuga-san is in heaven, perhaps I can push the envelope a bit more … Armani closes one eye and watches closely through the camera lens. With his index finger hovering above the shutter release, he speaks quietly to the girls who are completely engrossed in each other. “The temptress shall bend down and worship the body beneath her with a kiss.”

Shizuru looks down at the flawless skin of the girl she loves. Her head feels heavy. Something is pulling her down. She wonders if the sofa is on top of a mystery spot where gravity goes haywire. She sees more and more of chestnut-colored tresses resting on sweet innocent skin. Her lips, so close to the younger girl’s body that if she extends her tongue, she can have a taste of her tiny goosebumps. Right now, she has no doubt that Natsuki can feel her hot breath.

Everyone in the room has made an unspoken agreement to stop breathing. All eyes are on the center of the room, on the two models that demand every bit of one’s attention.

“Mr. Armani, please take your photo now.” The spell of silence is broken by a graceful Kyoto-ben.

The photographer exclaims in frustration, “But what about the kiss?”

Shizuru’s voice comes out like a layer of thin ice covering boiling and bubbling magma. “You seem to have confused Natsuki and me with women in the adult film industry. There are things that I prefer to do behind closed doors, and certainly not in the mist of strangers with cameras.”

Snap. Snap. Snap.

That concludes the photo shoot session.

As soon as Armani exits the establishment with his assistants, he spots a black van with no license plate dashing towards him. Naturally he drops all his belongings on the floor while ducking for safety. Luckily for him, the black van slams on its break a few feet away from the fashion guru. The door of the van slides open and an outstretched arm snatches Armani’s man bag from the ground. In true mafia film fashion, the van makes a hasty exit as more pedestrians jump out of its way.

“They took my camera and the film inside! Vaffanculo!” Stomp, stomp, stomp – gorilla style.

Immediately, the dutiful assistants use every trick up their sleeves to try to calm down their emotional boss. As if on cue, Minami, Shizuru and Natsuki walk out of the lingerie shop to check out the commotion. The frantic voices that follow can best be described as a diarrhea of the verbal kind.

“This is not happening. I’m just having a bad dream. That’s right? I’m dreaming. Ha … ha … ha …” The color slowly drains away in Minami’s vision as she stares up in the sky.

To be frank, Natsuki is actually relieved to learn that the photographer can no longer develop pictures of her half naked. She furrows her brows forcefully and bites hard on her lower lip, trying to stop herself from grinning in joy.

So easy to read … Shizuru chuckles softly to herself. She shakes her head and whispers to her object of affection. “I wonder if we’ll become instant celebrities on the internet if the thieves decide to develop the film and post our pictures online.”

Natsuki feels like a group of vultures just took turns dumping feces on her head. “Shizuru, you wait for me here. I’m going to run after those bastards.”

Before Natsuki can take her first step, Shizuru has already wrapped her arms around the younger girl’s waist. “Hold still, tiger.” Putting on her serious face, the heiress to the Fujino Empire straightens herself and clears her throat. “Everyone, I have a proposition.”

What ensues is a series of solutions: Family friends who own a publishing firm and a print shop and are able to speed up the printing of the lingerie catalog; The international Fujino Shizuru fan club members who will do part-time modeling for free; Airline VIP connection that can upgrade Armani’s flight to first class. You name it, Shizuru can get it.

At the end of the ordeal, nobody is going home crying or color-blind. Birds are chirping. Planes are flying. Superman is … well, nowhere to be seen. What more can one ask for?

TBC.

----omake begins----

Shizuru and Natsuki have left the lingerie shop and just bought some refreshing drinks from a nearby concession stand, waiting for the Eto brothers to return.

Natsuki: Why do I have the feeling that you are the mastermind behind the attack?

Shizuru: Ara, did I leave behind too many clues?

Natsuki: You took a bathroom break in the middle of the photo shoot. That was pretty suspicious. I mean, you already went once at the theatre. How small is your bladder?

Shizuru: *pout* That’s no fun. I was hoping you would say something like … *dramatic pause* … it’s only logical to have a sexy villainess behind every passionate crime.

Natsuki: Like hell I’d be thinking about that!

Shizuru: *sniff sniff* So you think I’m not sexy?

Natsuki: *panic mode* I didn’t say that!

Shizuru: Then you think I’m super sexy? *raised eyebrow*

Natsuki: *blush* What do you want me to say?

Shizuru: I’ll take that as a yes. *cheeky smile*

Natsuki: Whatever … so you got the loot? *hopeful eyes*

Shizuru: *seductive voice* How much are you willing to pay for the pictures?

Natsuki: The size of your wallet is already like Doraemon’s fourth-dimensional pocket! Are you serious?

Shizuru: Not at all. *sticks out tongue* There are some things money can’t buy.

Natsuki: And for everything else, there is Mastercard. (reaches into her pocket and pulls out a credit card)

Shizuru: Ooooo, I’m scared. Are you threatening to papercut me to death with the dull side of your credit card?

Natsuki: Actually, I was thinking about … *saunters over with an innocent smile* … THIS!

Shizuru: Hahahaha! Not … fair … *rapid breathing*

Who knew? A mere Mastercard can tickle Fujino Shizuru’s funny bone. Of course, this is only possible when the attacker is Kuga Natsuki, possessor of Xena-level strength and insider information about the Fujino ticklish spots, who is able to bind Shizuru’s arms with a single grip while using a credit card to make contact with her prisoner’s skin strategically.

Monthly access to high speed internet: $50.

Picturing Shizuru and Natsuki living the life that they love and loving the life that they live: Priceless.

----omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:42:58 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part XI)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1643

Summary: Shizuru and Natsuki have a date with fancy lingerie.

I hope everyone had a nice summer! I certainly did. If people have questions about credit scores, ask me! That was my big project of the summer, hehe. I have a confession to make - the cliffhanger in the last chapter actually alludes to a scene in the NEXT chapter. Again, my fault for being wordy and making the story progress at a snail’s pace. I know that the length of this update is sub-par, but I promise that the next chapter will appear in the VERY near future. Oh, and there will be a special guest(s) appearance in the omake. Enjoy!
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Who the hell is this guy? Numerous question marks emerge from Natsuki’s back as she twitches at the tall slender man in a flashy silver suit. But what makes her speechless is probably the moving wall of fresh roses on wheels that seems to follow that man’s every step. How much does he pay his assistants to push around that cheesy background decoration all day?

“Mr. Armani, our models have arrived.” Minami takes a humble bow in front of this year’s hottest photographer in the fashion industry.

“Ah, Signorina Minami. What great timing, I just finished setting up the station. Now, who do we have here?” The suave middle-aged man falls silent as he scrutinizes Shizuru and Natsuki with a pensive smirk.

I did not sign up to be stared at, especially not from a weirdo like him. Shizuru is not meat in the market! Natsuki takes a step forward and uses her body to shield Shizuru from Armani’s intrusive gaze.

This is why I don’t like dealing with eccentric artists. Manners are not what they are known for … On the bright side, it is always delightful to play the powerless maiden in need of protection in front of Natsuki, ho ho. However, for Minami-san’s sake, there is still business to be done. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Armani. My name is Fujino Shizuru and this is my friend Kuga Natsuki.”

In response to the introduction, Armani only gives a barely noticeable nod and proceeds to resume his fixation on the two girls in silence.

The awkward atmosphere permeating the room makes Minami rub her hands together nervously. Even though Shizuru-san and Natsuki-san are gorgeous, I should have known that it is still bad business to diverge from what we have already agreed in the concept meeting. “I apologize for the …”

“I love it! You're a darling, Signorina Minami. That is exactly the edge that I'm looking for!” Armani grabs Minami by her shoulders and gives her a passionate kiss on the cheek. “Now my beautiful ladies, please get dressed promptly. My assistants will show you the various outfits that will make an appearance in the catalog. Butch girl, you go to the left dressing room and doll face, the right one.”

“Who are you calling …” Before Natsuki can scream out the rest of her sentence, she is knocked off balance by extended arms. By sheer undisputable laws of physics, the fuming girl stumbles into her dressing room.

Forgive me, Natsuki-san. The job must go on. The lingerie shop owner lets out a breath that she has been holding since they arrived.

“Oh yea, a definite butch. She might not look it, but the essence is there.” Armani proudly enlightens one of his assistants with his assessment.

Uhm, what is this feeling of being thrown into an ice dungeon? Minami turns around and makes eye contact with a smiling Shizuru, who has taken a short pause before stepping behind the curtains. How come I never noticed how threatening Shizuru-san’s smile could be?

Five minutes later, Natsuki walks out in black denim baggy jeans and a white wife-beater. This isn’t so bad. I mean, the floor is a bit cold, but whatever. Minami-san was probably on crack when she told me I had to be topless. What’s taking Shizuru so long?

“Miss me much?” A few feet over, Shizuru struts forward in a silky pearl color flyaway babydoll dress and matching silk panties. The front slit of the dress located below the breasts conveniently shows off her firm stomach attributed to a lifetime of balanced diet.

“Ahhhh, what are you wearing???” Green orbs dart around rapidly following an incoherent route, more specifically, everywhere but on the Kyoto woman’s body.

“Catalogue merchandise. What else?” Shizuru smirks innocently while tiptoeing closer to the younger girl whose body is turning stiff like a stick.

“Kuga-san …” After a polite warning on Minami’s part, Armani now addresses both his models properly by their last names. “Please take your bra off.”

“Are you trying to mess with me?” You think MY limited collection bra is too cheap to show itself in the catalogue?

“Professionally speaking, I’m going for the androgynous look here, and the bra makes you too feminine. So would you please do as I say so that we can start shooting?”

“But …” My nipples will be showing! “I thought these were not supposed to be x-rated photos!”

“Oh honey, with my expertise, nothing inappropriate will be included in the photos. We are running an esteemed and legitimate business after all. Of course, it will be a different story if this is for my private collection …”

“Ahem.” With a fiery stare that screams “Don’t you dare think about it!”, Shizuru’s battle aura successfully jolts Armani out of his reverie.

“Moving along …” The photographer swallows the lump in his throat, still digesting his first close encounter with death. Gotta watch out for that doll …

Meanwhile, Natsuki decides to yield. After performing the long lost art of remove-your-bra-without-taking-off-your-shirt technique, she crosses her arms to cup her unsupported yet perky breasts. I’m only doing this for Shizuru. That buffoon better keep his word.

“Now, Kuga-san, stand upright and face the white background. Put your hands in your pockets. Just concentrate on the whiteness ahead. Pretend you’re an emotionless statue. Nothing in the world can cause a ripple in your heart.”

Natsuki complies, silently grateful that with the camera behind her, her unprotected bosoms won’t be exposed.

Armani continues to prep his models. “Someone, prepare the fan! Fujino-san, you’re the temptress. Go stand next to Kuga-san with your body facing the camera. Turn your head towards Kuga-san …”

Easy enough. Awww, the fan is making my Natsuki cold. Look how “they” are all hard …

“Damn it, Shizuru. Stop staring at my chest!” Natsuki growls without turning her head. As if I’m not self-conscious enough!

“Only doing what I was told.” With a sheepish grin, Shizuru whispers back matter-of-factly.

“Fujino-san, please pick up a handful of Kuga-san’s hair and hold the bundle close to your heart. Try to look like you’re longing for something that you cannot have.”

Shizuru chuckles to herself. Wow, this is bringing back so many memories. The days when I would stroke her hair in secret … Reaching out to feel the softness of the blue hair that reminds her of the steady and forgiving ocean, she tries not to let the bleak future of her unrequited love push her to tears.

The sudden shift in mood did not escape Natsuki. Perhaps it is primal animal instinct, or perhaps it is the mysterious ability for pets to sense their owners’ mental condition. Either Shizuru is talented enough to win the Academy Awards, or something is really bothering her …

“You’re phenomenal, Fujino-san. Extraordinary expression.” Incessant and rhythmic camera sound. Finally Armani brings himself up from the crouching position in front of his camera on a tripod. “Good job, everyone. Kuga-san can stay put. Fujino-san, please change into your next outfit.”

How immature of me to lose my usually calm countenance in front of Natsuki. I must regroup fast while I change. As Shizuru releases the handful of beautiful blue hair and starts to pull away, an arm across her bare midriff takes her by surprise.

“Don’t take the photo shoot so seriously. Let’s relax and have some fun.” In her mind, Natsuki had played out the scene plentiful times where she would deliver her lines with a confident smile. But in reality, the shy girl ends up giving her advice to the spotless floor, mostly due to the revealing nature of Shizuru’s accoutrement.

The temptress of the hour leans closer to speak softly in Natsuki’s ear. “Your hand sure seems like it’s having a blast.” How cute! She was so nervous that she kept rubbing my tummy without noticing.

“Wha … AHHHH!” Natsuki retracts her hand so quickly that she almost sprains her arm. This woman can be so infuriating! “Just … hurry back, it’s cold out here.” At least she is back to her old self …

With a devilish grin, Shizuru swiftly exits the crime scene.

From a dark corner in the room, Minami has come to her own conclusion. Shizuru-san is without a doubt the one wearing the pants in their relationship.

TBC.

----omake begins----

Kenta and Jun have stepped out of the lingerie shop, finally realizing that waiting for the girls while being surrounded by tons of racy outfits is utterly unnecessary.

Kenta: Bro, you wanna walk around for an hour?

Jun: Sure. *exasperated sigh* Just don’t get too close to me. I don’t want people to think that we are related.

Demon horns rise up from Kenta’s fiery red locks.

Kenta: Honey, why are you being so shy in public? *jumps on his brother’s back*

Jun: Ahhhhh, get off me! *flails his arms like a headless chicken*

All the bystanders begin whispering in each other’s ears … well, except one …

Haruka: *takes out her custom made bullhorn* Stop this display of impure homosexual desire at once! Have you no spam?

Dead silence.

In the sky, a crow flies by while chanting “baka, baka”.

Yukino: Haruka-chan, it’s actually …

Jun: You mean shame? Lady, you got serious speech problems.

Haruka: *flustered* That’s none of your … Yukino?

Yukino creeps up to the brothers with her head dipped down. Though no one can see her expression, the eerie dark clouds wrapped around the small framed woman is enough to send shivers down one’s spine.

Out of survival instinct, Kenta jumps off his brother and backs away with the speed of a frightened gazelle.

Jun: *quivers in discomfort* What do you want?

Yukino grabs him with all her might and body-slams him into the ground with a judo two-handed shoulder throw.

Yukino: YOU STOLE MY LINE!!!

----omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 05:21:37 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part X)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1961

Summary: Shizuru, Natsuki, Kenta and Jun run into a stressed out store owner in the lingerie shop.

After what seems like forever, there is finally an update for my super long Shiznat saga! If you don't remember the story and don't feel like reading the latest chapter, I don't blame you. Cuz seriously, I had to go to my livejournal to refresh my memory while I wrote the story tonight. If you're looking for Shiznat interaction in this chapter, well, it's not like there's none, but the next chapter is probably going to be the cream of the crop. Mwa ha ha ha ...
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“As I have mentioned in the email reply, I’d be honored to visit your work place, Fujino-san.” Cracking his lips as wide as possible under the sun, Eto Jun tries to show off the amazing effect of his overnight bleaching. Meanwhile, a popcorn kernel is saying hello to the world from the crack between Jun’s front teeth.

People with bad breath should not be opening their mouths that wide. Natsuki furrows her brows in disgust at the sight. On the other hand, bringing Eto to the lingerie shop should be very interesting …

“My father always says that you can tell a lot about someone by examining this person’s work environment. Perhaps this will be a good chance for you to get to know me better.” With her courteous mask firmly in place, Shizuru can barely hide the twinkle in her eyes. Soon Eto will realize that my hobby is feeling up girls while helping them pick out the perfect combo of bra and panties. Hopefully he will be smart to see that I prefer scantily dressed girls over snobby balding men.

“Kuga, do you know where we are heading?” Kenta shoves his hands in his jeans pockets casually and asks in a nonchalant manner. Seeing how Kuga and her girlfriend have been messing with my bro so far, there is no way our next destination can be anything ordinary.

The girl in the black rock star t-shirt sighs and lowers her voice so that only Kenta can hear her. “Let’s just say that it is a place where Shizuru’s unusual tendency will be revealed.” Natsuki rolls her eyes at Kenta’s quizzical look in response.

In a matter of minutes, the four of them are standing in front of a lavishly painted bright pink establishment. The words ‘Women’s Secret’ are scripted in gold at the top of the entrance. Some might interpret the eye-catching aspect of the sign as an irony to the clandestine nature of the lingerie store’s name. Looking back at the visitors, their facial expressions range from dumbfounded and surprised to amused and skeptical.

Walking ahead the rest of the group with confident strides, Shizuru welcomes the fresh cool scented air greeting her through the broadening gap of the sliding glass doors. As she lets her fingers caress the closest rack of lacy bras, she twists her head just enough to flash a lazy smile at everyone near the entrance. “Welcome to my domain. Feel free to look around.”

Unsure of where to lay his eyes for fear of being mistaken as a pervert, Jun stares with all his might at the thick pink carpet at his feet. “Fujino-san, are you sure we are at the right place?” Oh my god, did I just bump into the wife of a potential client at the door?!

“There is no mistake. I work at this lingerie shop after school a couple times a week. Is there a problem?” Looks like the woman with the horrified facial expression seems to be acquainted with Eto Jun. Should I feel bad about ruining his reputation? Hm … in Natsuki’s lingo - fat chance, hehe.

If Jun raises his head at this precise moment, his superficial image of the forever gracious Fujino Shizuru will be crushed by her evil smug look. But in reality, his gaze is glued to the ground. “To be honest, I'm a little surprised. I was expecting something a little more …” Proper? No, I'm not a nagging grandma. Intellectual? But I don't want Fujino-san to think that I'm insulting her intelligence! Beads of frustration form on Jun’s forehead as he struggles to come up with the appropriate word.

Just when Kenta wants to change the subject to help his brother get out of the embarrassing situation, a booming voice from the back of the store beats him to the punch. “Shizuru-san, thank god you are here!” Everyone turns to the source of the voice and finds a middle-aged woman dressed in a red curve-hugging one-piece mini dress and matching red stilettos walking towards them in quick steps.

“Good afternoon, Minami-san.” Shizuru smiles courteously at her employer. “Is everything okay?” It’s so rare to see her in such a distraught state.

“I feel so bad for crashing your little party here, but will it be possible for me to borrow you and one of your friends for an hour? This is an emergency. I’ll give you a big bonus in next week’s paycheck.” In one single breath, Minami rapidly lays out her request.

“An hour of my time is not a big deal. However, could you tell me exactly what you need my help for and which one of my friends you are interested in borrowing?” Referring to Eto Jun as my friend makes me want to gag …But seeing how stressed out Minami-san is, I’ll let it slide just this once …

“Of course, how stupid of me.” Minami clears her throat and looks at Shizuru solemnly. “I need you to be the lingerie model for this month’s special merchandise catalogue.”

“What? I don’t want Shizuru to show her body to a bunch of random strangers!” As soon as Natsuki realizes the possessive tone of her outburst, all the blood in her body rushes uncontrollably to her head. Note to self – Shizuru is NOT mine. She can do whatever she pleases! But just imagining how everyone can have the privilege of witnessing those masterfully designed bra and panties hug her perfectly shaped naked body is so … wrong! I have to stop thinking about Shizuru like this!

Before Shizuru can reach out for Natsuki’s hand to calm down her adorable best friend, Kenta has given Natsuki’s shoulder a firm squeeze and an understanding grin. In response, the ice princess becomes visibly more relaxed than before. Unbeknownst to both Kenta and Natsuki, Kenta has gradually joined the tiny list of males to whom Natsuki has warmed up.

Shizuru retracts her hand. Even knowing full well that Kenta is on her side, she still has a hard time ignoring that sharp pang of jealousy entering her heart. Nevertheless, years of habit prevent Shizuru from showing any signs of emotional ripple in her chest. Natsuki is not the lonely antisocial child I first met anymore. I need to get used to her making new friends … even if it means that we’ll be spending less time together in the future …

I don’t like the sad look in her eyes. “Shizuru?” If she thinks she can fool the whole world with that perfect smile, she has underestimated me. Natsuki smoothly places her palm on the small of Shizuru’s back. Feel my touch? I’m right here with you.

Words are superfluous to spell out the bond between them. Shizuru bends her arm back to clasp the slightly callous hand on her back. The warmth of Natsuki’s hand travels up the length of Shizuru’s body and returns gentleness to the crimson orbs. The two girls share a meaningful glance as they tighten their grips on each other.

Meanwhile, Jun is lost in the fantasy of Shizuru striking provocative poses, dressed in the undergarments being sold in the racy corner of the store. Kenta looks over at his brother in disgust. Without warning, he stomps on Jun’s right foot and leaves a dusty footprint on his brother’s leather shoe.

“Ow! What did you do that for?” Damn it, Mother spent an hour shining my shoes last night!

“You know, I could have sworn I saw a cockroach. I was only trying to scare it away to save its life. Your drool almost hit it. Cockroaches deserve love and respect, too.” The self-proclaimed insect lover shrugs his shoulder with a mischievous smirk.

Not wanting to make a scene, Jun only growls at Kenta’s nonsense. It already takes a hundred percent of my attention to give Fujino-san a perfect impression of me. I don’t have any spare energy to deal with my idiotic useless brother!

Minami scrutinizes the four people in her store. With her twenty years of experience in the lingerie fashion industry, she still cannot figure out the exact relationships between them after studying their strange dynamics. At first the biological match of two girls and two guys seems to scream ‘double date’. But after taking a look at that unattractive daydreaming guy, Minami quickly dispels that theory. Either one of these girls is too good for that guy. He’s probably just here to pay cash or carry shopping bags.

So maybe the hip looking guy is one of the girls’ boyfriend. But which one? He seems to be getting along more with the blue haired girl. On the other hand, that girl has quite a protective streak for Shizuru-san. There is also some intense vibe going on between those two. Oh my, is this a love triangle? Did I just get sucked into a day time soap opera?

“Minami-san, before I agree to anything, would you mind telling me the whole story? You never mentioned anything about the catalogue when I was working the other day.” Shizuru’s voice puts an end to the rambling thoughts in Minami’s head.

“Surely you must know that we print out an annual special merchandise catalogue where we invite the most popular photographer at the time to be in charge of the photo shoot. This year we have Mr. Armani, who just won a prestigious international fashion photographer award last week. He has set up all his equipment at the back of the store right now, waiting for the models to arrive. In two hours, he needs to be over at the Narita Airport to board a flight to Italy for another award ceremony. Imagine my horror when I got a last minute phone call about my models being hospitalized for food poisoning this morning. Please, Shizuru-san, you are my last hope!”

“I see. We do have a situation at hand. You still haven’t told me why you need one of my friends?” Never say yes to anything before you know all the details.

“Mr. Armani is very particular with his work. He requests exactly two models. In our concept meeting, we have already discussed the different poses using a male model and a female model. I was thinking about asking one of your male companions …”

“Minami-san.” The tone of Shizuru’s voice effortlessly demands everyone’s attention. “I will help out with the merchandise catalogue under one condition.”

“And that is?” A raise?

“I only wish to work with my friend Natsuki in the photo shoot.” Anyone can tell that there is no room for negotiation by the way Shizuru is speaking.

“Hey!” Don’t I get a say in this?

“Done.” Before Natsuki can declare her opposition, Minami has already started dragging the two girls by their sleeves towards the back of the store. “One more thing, Natsuki-san.” Without slowing down her walking speed, Minami turns to the startled younger girl.

Oh god, I have a bad feeling about this. “Yes?”

“I hope you don’t mind being topless.”

“Excuse me?!?!?!” I knew it was a mistake to show up here!

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Two men are abandoned inside the lingerie shop.

Jun: So … *fiddles thumb*

Kenta: Yes? *raised eyebrow*

Jun: Nice weather, eh?

Kenta: Bro, you’re not trying to pick me up, are you?

Jun: What? *blush* You wish. My heart belongs to Fujino-san.

Kenta: Ha, and I can see how much she’s into you. *fakes kissing face*

Outside the store …

Little girl: Mommy, look at the misters next to your favorite underpants!

Woman: Don’t look! Hentai! *covers little girl’s eyes*

Little girl: What are they doing? I thought you said only women go in there.

Woman: At second glance, maybe they are just gay. Let’s keep walking.

----Omake ends----

What do drunk himes talk about?

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 22:21:55 GMT

Title: Himes On Crack (Part VI)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: R for innuendo
Word count: 1947

Summary: What do drunk himes talk about? Truth or Dare.

I wonder if people still remember me, hehe. It has been a long time since I posted anything. At least I still enjoy writing, and am reading a lot of Shiznat fanfics. No idea when I'll post next. =p All I can say is, this fic is just a little silly something to brighten people's day. =)
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Mai, Mikoto, Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Midori are hanging out in a karaoke room on a Sunday night. Everyone is drunk, and weird shit happens.

Midori: As the Social Chair of the Karaoke Club, may I present our first annual karaoke bingo night! *strings of confetti magically appear behind her*

Mai: And as the President of the Karaoke Club, I object! You can’t sing and play bingo at the same time!

Midori: C’mon, I’m only responding to the remaining club members’ wishes to spice things up a bit. Listen to the voice of the people in the spirit of democracy! *resurrects the famous Evita balcony scene*

Mai: *crosses arms* I never said that this club is a karao-cracy. In fact, you can call me the karao-tator.

Nao: Seriously, bingo is so old-school. I said to spice things up, not to water things down. Don’t treat us like some old ladies in a retirement home. Can’t we do something that is more suitable to our age? Oh, and by “our”, you were not included, Midori.

Midori: Hey! I’m only seventeen! *strikes a kawaii pose*

Natsuki: As much as I hate to burst your bubble, showing up here in the Fuka High uniform does not turn you into a seventeen year old…

Shizuru: Midori-sensei, I regret to inform you that you are still not being picked up by my adorable kohei radar, which means you’re either too old or not cute enough.

Natsuki: Excuse me, your what radar? *icy glare switch – on*

Shizuru: *angelic smile* The one I use to avoid running into tempta … I mean, totally clingy fan girls, of course.

Natsuki: Or the one you use to recruit new fan club members … *twists head to the side to show annoyance*

Shizuru: Why would I want to expand my fan club when I already have my number one fan by my side? *wraps her arms around Natsuki’s waist*

Natsuki: *quiet voice plus tomato face* Who’s your number one fan now? *struggles lightly in Shizuru’s arms*

Shizuru: Since the day we met, I signed you up to be the lone member in the only Fujino Shizuru fan club sanctioned by Fujino Shizuru herself. *leans in for a kiss*

Hypnotized by the enchanting voice of her girlfriend, Natsuki closes her eyes.

Mai: *speaks with a microphone* Ahem, remember the newest karaoke club rule, girls?

Shizuru and Natsuki stop in their tracks in confusion.

Mai: Mikoto, rule book! *snaps finger*

Mikoto runs on all fours around the room and returns to Mai with a black binder in her mouth.

Mai: Thank you. *pats the black haired girl on the head* Back to you two rule-breakers. Rule number 37 – No making out in the karaoke room.

Natsuki: Shizuru and I never voted on this stupid rule!

Mai: Sorry to break it to you, but this is a karao-tatorship. After that strange incident from our last meeting, I feel that this rule is absolutely necessary.

Shizuru: Ara, may I perceive Natsuki’s passionate dissent as a sign of her having the hots for me? *blows warm air into Natsuki’s ear*

Natsuki: Shizuru! *whisper* You know damn well how I feel about you … *buries her head in the nook of Shizuru’s neck*

Nao: God, I’d rather play bingo than watch those two horn-dogs fondle each other like there’s no one else in the room. *disgusted look* Hey! Don’t pass me a bingo card!

Midori: Fine, what do you propose we do then? *pout*

Nao: *smirk* I’m fine with strip poker or truth or dare.

Mai: How about truth or dare with a twist? The truth part stays the same, but for dares, we can only dare each other to sing songs and wear outfits. That way, I can make sure that there is singing involved.

Mumblings of “alright” and “okay” fill the room.

Midori: I’ll start! Natsuki, I choose you! Truth or dare?

Natsuki: Am I a freak’in pokemon now? *sigh* Dare.

Midori: That’s no fun. I already have the perfect question in mind!

Natsuki: The more reason why I am going for dare. Now name your song and outfit.

Midori: Hm … *wicked grin* I want you to cosplay as your dearly beloved. Sing Katakoi Enka in a purple yukata!

In mild annoyance, Natsuki goes to the changing room and puts on a purple yukata while grumbling nonsense.

Mai: Ohhhh, and you have to sing with a Kyoto-ben! *cheeky smile* I saw you buying “Kyoto-ben for Dummies” the other day at the book store.

Natsuki: *blushes* That’s not part of the deal! Since when do you stalk me after school?!?!

Mai: I do some part-time private detective work on top of waitressing at the restaurant. However, in the name of the hime star, I shall not disclose the name of my employer.

Nao: *taps on her chin contemplatively* I bet it’s your psycho girlfriend trying to scope out potential competition or … *eyes squinting*… to make sure that you’re not cheating on her.

Natsuki: Shizuru! Is it really you? *veins start popping up on her forehead*

Shizuru: Your song is starting, Natsuki! Hurry! *hands her a microphone*

Mai: Remember the Kyoto-ben! If you can’t do it, it means that you’re dumber than a dummy!

Everyone in the room except Natsuki starts chanting “Kyoto-ben”.

Overwhelmed by the chanting, Natsuki forgets about her interrogation and starts singing with a fake Kyoto accent.

Nao: *disbelief look* Shit, it’s actually not that bad. She did study her dummies book!

Midori: If only she can spend as much effort in studying for her regular academic curriculum …

Mikoto: GO NATSUKI!!! *jumps up and down*

Shizuru: *breathless gasp* Natsuki ….

With her eyes fixated on Natsuki, who is pouring her soul out with her sultry voice on stage, Shizuru feels like she is falling in love with her blue haired goddess all over again.

As the performance comes to an end, a devoured by lust Shizuru slides one hand up the slit of Natsuki’s yukata and murmurs in Natsuki’s ear. Soon a heavily blushing Natsuki lies limp in Shizuru’s arms and begins to tremble under her lover’s touch …

Nao: Ahem, Rule 37?

Natsuki: Argh, whatever. *rolling her eyes* The singing wasn’t so bad. Hm … Who should I pick on? … Mikoto! Truth or dare?

Midori: *whisper* I’ll treat you to ramen if you pick truth, Mikoto.

Mai: *panic mode* Mikoto, choose …

Mikoto: *cheery exclaim* TRUTH!

Nao: Heh, this should be interesting. We don’t even need to bust out my black market truth serum since it’s Mikoto. Who’s ready for some dirt on Mai?

Everyone except Mai and Mikoto: I AM!

Suddenly Mikoto climbs onto Mai’s lap and begins a close examination on Mai’s glorious chest area.

Mikoto: Where’s the dirt? I don’t see dirt on Mai.

Mai: Uh … Mikoto, didn’t you say you need to go to the bathroom? Let’s go together!

Mikoto: *confused look* Bathroom?

Midori: Not so fast! Answer my question then you can both go to the bathroom.

Natsuki: Uhm, shouldn’t it be MY question?

Mai looks over at Natsuki with teary eyes and sends out SOS signals using a telepathy channel that is only shared by the best of friends.

Natsuki sighs and gives Mai a reassuring nod.

Natsuki: Alright, Mikoto. This should be easy. What is your favorite …

Shizuru: … place to lick Tokiha-san?

Gigantic sweatdrops appear on Natsuki’s temple as she looks over at her graciously smiling significant other.

Using the same BFF telepathy channel, Natsuki ‘thinks’ to Mai, “Sorry, in the poker game of life, girlfriend trumps best friend.”

Meanwhile, Mikoto’s brows are furrowed as she contemplates the question with all seriousness.

Nao: HAHAHA! The Kyoto bitch is probably pissed at you for creating that no kissing rule, Mai!

Mai: *growls* Honestly, do you think you’ll be off the hook for being the one who is most vocal about citing Rule 37?

Nao winces at the truth of that statement.

Mikoto: I got it! I like licking Mai’s … HMPH?!?!

In desperation, Mai grabbed the plate of buffalo chicken wings on the table and shoved everything into Mikoto’s mouth, not even caring whether the bones are going to make her lovely pet choke to death.

Midori: Hey, that’s cheating! Stop interfering with the game!

Mai: As President of the Karaoke Club, I declare that tonight’s gathering is over! Go home, everyone! *pants from shouting*

Midori: Don’t be such a party pooper, Mai! C’mon, Nao, say something. It’s your idea to start this game.

Nao: On second thought, I want to leave before Fujino gets her turn …

Shizuru: Ara, to be honest, I was quite looking forward to asking some intriguing questions. But … *lustful gaze at Natsuki* … going home is never a bad option.

Natsuki once again experiences Shizuru’s amazing power to strip people with her eyes.

Natsuki: *cough cough* I just want to clarify that as Mai’s best friend, I have no reason to put Mai in a difficult position. Therefore I will leave at her request.

Nao: Now you play your best friend card? *pfft* Please, as if we don’t know that you two will be humping like rabbits as soon as you are out of our sight.

Natsuki: *blushes* SHUT UP!

Shizuru: Nobody makes MY Natsuki embarrassed except me … *hell fire is set ablaze behind the crimson orbs*

Nao: Gotta go! *runs madly for the door*

Mai: *nudges Natsuki on the arm and whispers* Damage control, ASAP!

Natsuki rolls her eyes then proceeds to wrap her arms around Shizuru’s shoulders.

Natsuki: *sensuous voice* Take me home, baby?

In the blink of an eye, the Asura-hime transforms into a feral beast and lets out a primal howl. Natsuki is suddenly slung over Shizuru’s shoulder and the two lovebirds vanish without a trace.

The words “You owe me, Mai!” can be faintly heard from miles away.

Midori: *face pales* Uhm, Mai?

Mai: What is it now, Midori? Party is over. Don’t forget your bingo cards.

Midori: You know CPR, right?

Mai: Yea, so? *puzzled look*

Midori: Good, because I don’t. *backs towards the door* Mikoto-chan’s face is turning blue by the way. Bye!

As Midori runs away, she mutters, “Forgive me, Mai. I don’t get paid till next week.”

Back in the karaoke room …

Mai: I’m so sorry, Mikoto! *teary eyes* It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have stuffed your mouth with chicken wings. Don’t leave me!

In slow motion, Mai bends down and kisses the unconscious Mikoto on the lips like the fairy tale young prince who wakes up the sleeping beauty.

Bright light flashes from Mikoto’s eyes, and chicken wing after chicken wing shoot out from Mikoto’s mouth like a machine gun. Thanks to superb reflex as an ex-hime, Mai was able to get out of the chicken wings’ way in the nick of time.

Mikoto: *coughs violently* Mai, what happened?

Mai: *sniffles happily* Just a little CPR. Thank goodness you are okay.

Mikoto: *cocks head to the side* Mai gave me CPR?

Mai: Yup because you weren’t breathing.

Mikoto jumps on Mai and lands a big smooch on her owner. After the initial shock wears off, Mai pulls Mikoto off her body.

Mai: What was that for, Mikoto?

Mikoto: Kaichou said every time someone gives you CPR, you need to return the favor by performing CPR on the other person immediately.

Mai: WHAT?

With the agility of a wild cat, Mikoto quickly pins Mai to the ground.

Mai: Please tell me that’s all Kaichou told you. *terrified eyes*

Mikoto: Fu fu fu … time for some heart massage …

Mai: EH!!!!!

Strange sucking noises and moans of pleasure are heard throughout the night from the karaoke room.

THE END

Death and Rebirth

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 21:29:01 GMT

Title: Death and Rebirth
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Claymore.
Rating: PG
Word count: 659

Summary: Claymore one-shot. Clare’s POV. What happens after Clare talks to the man from the organization at the end of the Teresa arc. Angst warning. [Clare x Teresa]

Oops, it has been a long time since I posted anything. Sorry to disappoint all you Shiznat fans out there, but this is a Claymore update. I definitely started writing a couple Shiznat fics, but I just haven't been able to finish a solid chapter. Ahhhh! I need divine intervention!!!
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A rather empty yet spacious room with no windows. The only thing emitting light is a long stem candle placed on a small wooden table in the center of the room. And on that same table, there lies the meaning of my life … the only being in my reality … Teresa …

“My name is Setsu, and I will be overseeing your transformation today. I have to warn you. Once the ritual begins with the intake of the demon blood, you will die …”

Dying is a risk that I’m willing to take. If I don’t make it, big deal, I already feel dead. But if I do …

“Trust me, it is better this way, for the pain of incorporating demon flesh into your body is enough to shatter the human mind. When the procedure is over, you will be reborn as what the world calls a Claymore, but only … if your will to live is strong enough. Many weaklings before you were not able to bounce back from the state of a lifeless corpse, heh heh …”

Teresa, give me strength … to become like you …

“Now that we have an understanding, any last requests before we commence?”

“May I hold her head?”

The masked man dressed in a black robe picks up a silver platter on the table and walks towards the metallic bed that I’m sitting on. I sigh in relief. Someone must have heard my silent prayer. I didn’t want anyone’s hand to touch Teresa.

I run my fingers through her beautiful silver curls. I chuckle. Teresa would have given me a spanking if I touched her hair like that under normal circumstances.

I bend down and kiss those cold yet soft lips. For a second, I have the illusion of Teresa kissing me back. The thought makes my heart flutter. As the man in black walks towards me again with the silver platter, I gently place her down, stroking the smooth tresses one last time.

In my last moment as a complete human being, I wish to fill my mind with thoughts of you, Teresa. Memories of our time spent together. Dreams of the time we will never share.

I love you, Teresa.

“Drink up, little girl.”

He holds up a golden cup with blood red liquid swirling inside. I take the cup and look down at my reflection cast on the ruby-colored surface. I guess the next time I see my reflection, I will look different … Teresa, after my transformation, will you still find me adorable if I put on the outfit you bought me in town?

From now on, I will bury my love for you deep inside me and devote the rest of my life to avenge your death. I remember what humanity can do to a warrior. How can I forget? That’s how I lost you. Till the day when I murder the monster that took you away from me, I shall close my heart to the outside world.

“What’s with the hesitation? Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”

I glare at the man with the residual venom conjured by the thought of Priscilla. How dare him question my resolve! I gulp down the fiery hot liquid in one swallow.

Beyond the distinctive taste of copper is a sweetness that I cannot describe. Nothing like the sweetness of honey or any other earthly sustenance, it is the kind of sweetness that wraps around my being and calms my soul. It is the feeling of falling asleep next to your warm body, Teresa …

Then … I hear the sound of metal colliding with the cement floor.

“May you have sweet dreams, Clare.”

My life didn’t flash before my eyes as my eyelids grow heavy and start to block off the dim candle light. But right before I’m surrounded by absolute darkness, I saw a glorious glow of silver. I smile.

Teresa … Teresa …

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Author's rambling: Dude, why did they kill off the best character in Claymore? TERESA!!! *sob sob* And Clare, don't you dare get together with that stupid boy Raki!

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 05:24:19 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part IX)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 2475

Summary: Jun falls into Natsuki's trap. And of course, your daily dose of Shiznat fluff. =)

Hey, everyone! Finally an update! Gahhhh, why do I update so slowly nowadays??? Hopefully that won't turn away too many readers. *Sweat drop* I don't think I'll ever abandon the story. I promise there will be a satisfying end to the Shiznat adventure. In the mean time, please bear with the slow updates. =p

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By the time Shizuru and Natsuki get back inside the darkened room, they are surprised to see an empty seat covered in popcorn where Eto Jun should be. But neither of them is about to complain, so they return to their seats like his inexistence is the most natural thing in the world. Meanwhile, Kenta just smiles briefly at his favorite girls, and then returns his attention to the movie in front of them.

As we all know, good times never last forever. Twenty minutes of peaceful viewing is brought to an end by a loud metallic clash at the back of the theatre. Lord and behold, it is a fuming Jun literally pushing his way back to his seat, the first victim being the heavy doors separating the theatre from the concession stand area. Without a doubt, hisses and boos permeate the dimly lit space once again.

“Welcome back, Mr. Popular. By the way, your popcorn is exactly where you left it.” Kenta flashes a cheerful smile at his beloved brother and retracts his legs to let him get through. Damn, he looks like someone just took a piss on his creepy clown collection. I wonder what that guy did to him. Maybe he took Jun to the back of the parking lot and forced him to …

“Thank you so much for not watching my back. I just lost a big chunk of my paycheck, my dear worthless brother.” With an unsteady voice due to his boiling anger, Jun whispers at Kenta for fear of tainting his economically-well-off image in front of Shizuru.

“Lucky you. People say that the best kind of problem is one that can be solved by money.” Woo hoo, how I revel in your misery! “On the bright side, at least you know exactly what happened in the movie while you were out there.”

“Oh, shut up.” After Jun gets past Kenta, he tries to make eye contact with Shizuru, but the Kyoto beauty’s eyes seem to focus on everywhere but him. With a defeated sigh, he sits down and starts to plan his next course of action. I didn’t climb to my current spot in the law firm by being someone who gives up whenever he hits a brick wall. Fujino-san, I WILL hold you in my arms. I swear in the name of my manhood! Tiny fireballs erupt in the depth of his clouded charcoal eyes.

Ever since the reappearance of the pest of the day, Natsuki has been sneaking glances sideways to make sure that everything is under control and that none exceeds her expectation. Taking notice of Jun’s shoulder roll, she scoffs with a menacing grin. Play with fire and you’ll be burned. Live and learn, Eto Jun.

Moments later, a symphony of screams fill the confined area, music weaved by the high pitch soprano from the bloody B-listed actresses on screen and the rumbling low roar from the guest bass Jun, who is currently cradling his injured middle finger.

“What is the matter, Eto-san? Are you alright?” Though her tone may be soft and tender, the glare reflected in the crimson orbs betrays her insincerity and mirth. I can always count on my princess in shining armor to punish those who try to get too close to me.

Enclosed in shadows that obscure all hostility, Jun is of course unaware of Shizuru’s dark side. “What is on your shoulder? Something stung me!” Shit! The blood is about to drip from my finger and stain my nice plaid pants!

Natsuki chooses this precise moment to chime in. “Shizuru, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s dangerous to put your Bleach suzumebachi pin on your shoulder? Thank god it’s not you who got hurt this time.” (Bleach reference: Suzumebachi is the bee-stinger-shaped weapon of Soi Fon, yet another shoujo-ai character!) Natsuki covers the older girl’s hand gently in mock caring. Think about how Shizuru summons her acting ability to fake cry …

Shizuru sticks out her tongue mischievously. “But the pin looks so cute with the denim jacket, and I have been careful not to touch my left shoulder today. Natsuki, please don’t be annoyed …” She uses her free hand to stroke Natsuki’s arm lovingly while wearing a smile as sweet as fresh honey from a bee hive.

Hello! Pay attention to the wounded person here! Maybe Fujino-san will tend to my cut if I act like I’m in pain … “Ow, it really hurts. The gash looks pretty deep.” What’s weird is that I didn’t notice the pin when we first met up outside the theatre … Forget it, my psychiatrist told me to stop being so paranoid all the time. I should listen to her.

To Jun’s surprise, it is Natsuki who is responding to his wimpy cry of attention. “Eto, I gotta say, you’re quite the gentleman for taking the hit for Shizuru.” Quit your whining, you pig head. Nobody is going to baby you for that tiny drop of blood. Using every fiber of her being to stop herself from gagging, her mouth quivers in attempt to form a small natural smile.

Okaaaaaay, since when did she get a soul and become nice? Perhaps I misjudged her character earlier … “Well, it’s nothing intentional. I’m glad to have protected Fujino-san from hurting herself.” He looks intently at Shizuru with a confident nod.

Natsuki can hear a vein popping on her forehead. NO, YOU DIDN’T PROTECT HER! The only protection Shizuru needs is from YOU! “To say thank you, let me offer you the band-aid I always keep in my pocket in case of emergency.” I can do this. Hold the smile just a few seconds more! With great difficulty, she elevates the corner of her lips to a new height.

Accepting her compliment is one thing, but do I really want to take her band-aid? Jun’s sixth sense is reacting to the killer intent emitting from the blue haired girl.

I’m not sure what Natsuki has in store, but her oh-so-sincere offer is probably not enough to push Eto over the edge. Time for the tag team play … “Ara, how nice of Natsuki. Eto-san, would you like me to put the band-aid on for you?” No ordinary man can reject me, ho ho.

The combined bright glow from Shizuru’s halo and her angelic smile shatters Jun’s sixth sense in a matter of nano-seconds. “Only if it’s not too much trouble. Thank you, Fujino-san.” An eerie shade of rouge covers his face. Yes! My plan for Fujino-san to play nurse with me worked! Just seconds before her baby soft skin makes contact with my hand … Jun subconsciously stops breathing in anticipation.

As Natsuki hands Shizuru the band-aid, the older girl gives a discreet wink as if to confirm that all is going according to plan. Smashing his finger with my fist is certainly an amusing option, but too out of character on my part. Let’s just see what happens after I put the band-aid on his finger. I trust Natsuki …

A sharp intake of breath. “GOD, IT STINGS!” Mammoth size beads of sweat immediately roll off Jun’s forehead.

“Don’t be such a baby. The sting is normal. This is a new product in the market, anti-bacterial gel placed underneath the cloth. If you feel the pain, then the band-aid is doing its job.” Natsuki explains with a straight face. Ha! Who’s the sucker now?

I need to peel off the band-aid right away before my finger rots to the bone! Jun begins to pick at the edge of the adhesive bandage.

“Eto-san, did I not do a decent job of applying the band-aid? Please allow me to adjust its position for you.” With her famous elegant smile, Shizuru begins to work her magic.

Succumbing to the glorious prowess that is Shizuru’s effortless ability to persuade once again, Jun can only twinge in irregular intervals while trying to maintain a dignified façade. Needless to say, for the rest of the movie, he has kept his arm to himself. No awkward shoulder roll. No distracting monstrous clearing of throat. Thus the movie viewing experience draws to a close in relative calmness …

---

On their way to stroll out of the theatre, a blushing Natsuki turns to Shizuru. “Ne, I need to stop by the bathroom. Would you prefer coming with me or waiting for me outside with the Eto brothers?” The question is a rhetorical one. Taking into account that the Etos are within earshot distance, Natsuki is too embarrassed to directly request Shizuru’s presence in the bathroom for the second time today after Kenta’s snarky comment. At the same time, leaving Shizuru with Eto Jun is even more out of the question.

Of course there is only one right answer. “Sure, I’ll go with you. I need to touch up my makeup anyways.”

“You and your bladder of a tadpole. Why do you need to go so often?” Kenta cocks his head at Natsuki. “Make it quick. If I hear any more comments about my boy-friend, I’m going to start hitting people.” (Recall the omake of a previous chapter.)

Natsuki just glares at Kenta. If I don’t have to pee so badly, I’ll give you a beating myself! “Let’s go, Shizuru.” She shoves her hands into her jeans pockets and quickly walks away, expecting her best friend to follow close behind.

As Shizuru saunters past Kenta, she lowers her voice so that Kenta is the only one who can hear her. “If you insist on teasing Natsuki constantly, I’ll be obliged to show you the consequence of crossing a Fujino. Keep that in mind next time you open your mouth. Natsuki is mine to tease, not yours.” Crimson eyes darken to the color of blood as Shizuru delivers her threatening speech.

“Yes, m’am. I heard you loud and clear.” Immediately Kenta stands up straight like a meter stick and salutes the Kyoto beauty. As he watches her walk away, he has the feeling of a razo-sharp knife being lifted from his neck. Phew, that was close. Dude bro, you are so fucking insane to go after Kuga’s girl. If Kuga can break you in half with her bare hands, then this woman can make you blood boil and self combust spontaneously with her eyes!

“Kenta, what did Fujino-san say to you?” Jun stares at his brother with a quizzical look. Why would Fujino-san talk to my loser brother and not me? Damn, my finger is still killing me …

“Man, you don’t want to know …” A drop of cold sweat slides down the side of Kenta’s face.

---

Soon after the girls finish their respective business in the bathroom, Natsuki and Shizuru are now walking shoulder to shoulder towards the theatre exit.

Not that I’m complaining about all the cute girls in the bathroom, but it’s such a shame that I couldn’t have a private moment with my Natsuki in one of the stalls. Shizuru lets out a sigh.

“What’s wrong?” With concern in her eyes, Natsuki tugs lightly at Shizuru’s sleeve.

Natsuki will probably yell at me if she finds out what I was thinking about, ho ho. “It’s nothing. By the way, where did you get that band-aid? I’ve never heard of such a product.” Shizuru raises an eyebrow at the other girl.

“It was manufactured right in the Fujino-Kuga kitchen. Ingredients include a regular band-aid, lots of ill will, and last but not least, two spoonfuls of tabasco sauce.”

“My, oh my, you’re such a naughty girl.” Shizuru brings up her hand, wanting to pinch the blue haired girl’s cheek jokingly.

“I learn from the best.” Adding an extra bounce in her steps, Natsuki takes a small leap forward to dodge the attack. She then turns around and gives Shizuru a smug smile.

Shizuru looks at the younger girl in an adoring fashion. “You know, I’m impressed how you got Eto Jun twice in a row. When did my Natsuki get so clever?”

“Being a Bleach fan, it’s only common knowledge that Soi Fon’s opponents die instantly if she stings them on the same spot twice with her weapon. Plus it’s not my fault if Eto was too blind to notice that the band-aid I gave him had a bright red center.”

“I think we have a verdict. Clearly, Eto-san is the only one at fault.” Shizuru leans her cheek on her palm and nods affirmatively.

“Damn straight.” Natsuki winks with a conspiring smirk. “So what now? Where are we going next?”

“Is there anywhere Natsuki would like to go?”

“I don’t care. No matter where we go, it’s not like Eto Jun is going to drop off the face of the Earth or evaporate in thin air.”

“Then … let’s visit the place I part-time!” Sparks start dancing in Shizuru’s eyes.

“What? No way!” I still remember the last time you followed me into the changing room! “Pick somewhere else!”

“Oops, too late. I sent Eto an email yesterday letting him know that we’ll drop by my work place after the movie.” Shizuru sticks out her tongue at Natsuki, whose forehead veins are now pulsing rapidly.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kill me now!!!

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta and Jun are waiting for the girls outside the theatre. They spot a coffee stand near them.

Jun: I’m going to get some coffee. You want anything?

Kenta: Nah, you go ahead. But seriously, don’t you think you’ve been jumpy and loud enough while we were watching the movie? Do you really need more caffeine?

Jun: Shut up! Mind your own business!

Jun walks over to the coffee stand and looks at the menu. As he contemplates what he is about to order, he scratches his temple out of habit.

Jun: Alright. I’ve made my decision. Can I get a decaf single shot …

Coffee stand owner: Sir, did you just flick me off?

Jun: What? That’s absurd! I didn’t do that.

Jun grabs the cylindrical sugar container and slams it on the counter in anger.

Coffee stand owner: But sir, you just did it again. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

Jun: Can’t a man get his coffee fix? What’s wrong with you?

The coffee stand owner yells “Security!” in the direction of the theatre.

Jun quickly runs back to Kenta.

Kenta: Uhm … I know I’m not your favorite person in the world. But dude, why are you giving me the finger?

Jun: Why does everyone keep saying that? I’m not …

Jun looks down at his hand. Apparently, the pain on his middle finger has numbed his senses. For the first time, Jun notices that his bandaged finger has gone stiff and is sticking out in an upright manner.

A very amused Kenta witnesses the birth of Jun, the stone statue.

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:13:16 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VIII)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 2355

Summary: Inside the movie theatre, Jun tries to get closer to Shizuru. Natsuki and Shizuru regroup in the bathroom with an evil plan.

I realized that it has almost been a month since I last updated this story. Sorry ... Many personal things came up recently. But everything is ok now, and I'm ready to write again! As usual, I got too excited describing Shiznat interactions and totally ignored plot advancement. So the theatre sequence is now a two-parter, hehe. This is my longest chapter to date, hope y'all will enjoy it!
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Jun, being the first person to arrive at his seat, is logically sitting close to the center of the row. While he watches Shizuru take her seat next to him, a conniving smile inadvertently finds itself to his face as he mentally goes through all the moves he plans to put on her during the movie. But as soon as he realizes that Natsuki is sitting next to Shizuru on the other side, an irritated Jun gives Kenta a discreet wink, having no doubt that his blood relative will facilitate a switcheroo. “Kenta, won’t you be a gentleman and let Kuga-san take the aisle seat since the air-conditioner is right above her head? I don’t think a skimpy little t-shirt is enough for her to fend off the cold air.”

As if you’ll get your way … “Nah, Kuga can take the cold. She’s strong. Plus I want the leg room.” He smirks at Natsuki who responds with a small smile. With a voice loud enough to be heard by the four of them, Kenta continues in a self mumbling fashion. “Tall people just have needs that the vertically challenged people don’t usually think about …”

Why you … are you trying to imply that I’m … Jun subconsciously straightens himself at his seat. A man’s worth is not measured by his height, but by the size of his …

“Ara, the lights are dimming. I guess the movie is finally going to start.” Taking advantage of the darkened theatre, Shizuru rests the tip of her nails on Natsuki’s knee and traces lazy circles with minimal contact. C’mon, I know you’re ticklish there.

Staring straight ahead at the screen, Natsuki lightly slaps the wrist of the woman whose fingertips are dancing on her knee. On top of watching out for that moron Eto Jun, do I need to pay attention to your wandering hand too? She sighs in defeat as she catches a glimpse of Shizuru’s smug smile out of the corner of her eye.

Completely missing the display of affection between the two girls, Jun is once again caught up in his daydream. Hmm … the movie is starting. If I remember correctly, something scary will happen around fifteen minutes into the movie. I will have to put my arm around Fujino-san before that scene comes up. Plan A, executing in exactly five minutes. He takes a deep breath and rotates his shoulder blades to prepare for the upcoming task.

Oh no, here comes the yawn trick. Kenta grimaces at the sight of his brother flexing his shoulder muscles. Not that he has a chance to begin with, but going old-school is clearly not the way to break out.

Just as Kenta expects, in a matter of few minutes, an exaggerated yawn struggles to come out from the depth of Jun’s atrophied and deformed vocal chords, which results in a sound in close resemblance to the wail of a dying cow. Everything has got to be smooth. Arm extending upward slowly at forty degree angle …

“Natsuki!” Following a cry of fear, Shizuru buries her head in the crook of Natsuki’s neck as Jun’s arm is stuck in mid air. Her arms are now wrapped around the younger girl’s shoulders.

“Are you okay, Shizuru? What’s wrong?” Using her most tender voice, Natsuki tries to placate the trembling girl clung to her for dear life. However, she cannot help but throw a skeptical glance at the movie screen. Why is she freaking out over a close up on a … plant? “I know you’re not a tree hugger, but what did you …”

“Ladybugs …” A voice as quiet as a cicada’s song. Ladybugs are adorable, but I need an excuse to be close to my Natsuki and be away from the Eto cooties. Yes, that’s it, Eto. Bring that arm back down and glue it to your lap. Shizuru snuggles closer to Natsuki’s silky smooth skin to hide her smirk and wait for her silent giggles to subside.

“The bugs are not on the screen anymore. Don’t worry, okay?” Mistakenly interpreting the breathiness on her neck as a sign of emotional turmoil, Natsuki reaches out her arm and pulls Shizuru closer to her body by the shoulder, hoping to calm down the Kyoto woman.

I knew she was trouble when I first laid eyes on her. Damn this Kuga Natsuki! Accomplishing what I wanted to do so effortlessly! Jun seethes with anger as he tightens his fists on his lap and burns an imaginary hole on the screen ahead with his stare of pure hatred.

Meanwhile, Kenta is observing the trio to his right with an amused grin. Just when I thought the ticket was too expensive for this crappy horror flick … God, the money is so worth it, just to see the look on Jun’s face right now. HAHA!

When Shizuru finally returns her breathing to the normal pace and sits back straight, Natsuki retracts her arm in a clumsy manner. Immediately the older girl misses the warm contact on her shoulder, but says nothing in response. Once again exposed to the sleazy yawn attack, Shizuru reaches into her purse and takes out a pack of Kleenex, carefully setting up her counter-attack.

For the next few minutes, Jun mentally counts each passing second, not wanting to miss his golden opportunity to calm down a frightened Shizuru. Only one minute left, it’s now or never. He clears his throat to prepare for his next fake yawn.

Noticing her unwanted companion’s action, Shizuru is just about to throw her Kleenex on the floor when she feels a tap on her knee.

“Ne, Shizuru. Do you mind coming with me to the bathroom?” How I despise those girls that travel to the bathroom in packs. But this is for her sake …

Even in the darkened space, Shizuru can tell that the owner of that angelic voice is blushing furiously. “Sure, I don’t mind.” Those rosy pink cheeks and that little frown. Oh, Natsuki. You’re just asking for it. “Is it that time of the month for you? Do you need some supply from me?” How can you look so cute and not expect me to tease you?

“Shizuru!” A harsh whisper. “Whatever. Just come with me.” Natsuki stands up and pulls Shizuru up by the hand as well. “Move you feet, Kenta. We are going to the bathroom.”

Kenta gets out of his seat to let the girls pass through. “I gotta say. Never thought you were one of THOSE girly girls, Kuga.”

Natsuki gives Kenta one of her infamous icy glare. “You thought wrong.” With a smile, she stomps on his foot with bone crushing strength.

This is not how my script goes! My chance to be Fujino-san’s fearless protector! “Hey, you two can’t leave now. You’re going to miss the part where that dumb blonde gets her head chopped off by Steve!”

“BOO!” “Thanks for ruining the movie, asswipe!” “Shut up!” “Get out of here! I’ll take you outside!” A shower of popcorn and candy wrappers befalls the man with the loud mouth as grunts and groans from the crowd fill the theatre.

“Ara, have you seen this movie already, Eto-san? That’s perfect, you can tell me about what I miss later. Please excuse me.” Watching the movie before hand is not a crime. But spoiling the movie for everyone is. May you get the proper punishment from the audience. Shizuru gives Natsuki a slight push towards the back exit.

When the girls enter the bathroom, Natsuki is relieved to see no one in sight. Conjuring the speed of Duran, she shoves Shizuru into the stall furthest from the entrance and locks the door behind them. “We don’t have much time. Take off your jacket, Shizuru.”

“Is Natsuki going to take me right here and now? Ikezu …” Shizuru bites on her lips with a sensuous grin and playfully pulls on Natsuki’s black tie.

“Take what?” Rapid blinking. Then realization hits. “SHIZURU! It’s the second time in less than five minutes. Control yourself!” Why does this woman always know how to get a reaction out of me?

“You are no fun …” She slips out of her denim jacket with a pout. “What was I supposed to think after being forced into a bathroom stall and asked to undress?”

Natsuki’s eyebrow twitches as she pinches the other girl’s cheeks with her fingers. “Stop … it …” Almost immediately, a soft whimper from Shizuru drives her to let go. With a sigh of surrender, she snatches the jacket and pulls out a small pouch from her jeans pocket.

“Now my makeup is all ruined. You’re such a meanie.” Shizuru’s pout reappears.

Busy with the task at hand, without looking up, Natsuki replies with the first thought in her mind. “Even with the smeared makeup, you’re still the most beautiful woman in the theatre.” As a result of giving all her attention to attaching the content of the pouch to the left shoulder area of the denim jacket, she is oblivious to the sweet words that just came out of her mouth.

If Natsuki looks up right now, she will catch a glimpse of a wide-eyed blushing Shizuru. Natsuki … always full of surprises. With a smile warm enough to melt the iciest heart, Shizuru rests her head on Natsuki’s shoulder as she looks down on the blue haired girl’s handiwork. “A booby trap? Just the thing I need.”

“Eto Jun will be sorry if he puts his arm around you. I’m glad he hasn’t tried anything weird since the movie started.” Happy with her masterpiece, Natsuki motions Shizuru over and holds out the jacket in front of her.

Taking the offer, Shizuru slides her arms into the jacket and turns around to face Natsuki. “Oh, but he did try.”

“What? When?” With her eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, Natsuki raises her hands, wanting to grab her best friend by the shoulders.

Luckily, Shizuru grips Natsuki by the wrists before she can hurt herself. “Right after his god awful yawn and before the ladybugs showed up on screen.”

“Wait a minute, was that all an act? Are you actually scared of ladybugs?” All that time when I wanted to comfort her and calm her down … I was the biggest idiot!

“Perhaps.” Shizuru leans closer and whispers in the other girl’s ear. “The bright colors are quite disturbing, you know.”

Suddenly aware of the closeness of their bodies, Natsuki takes a big step back in panic. But with Shizuru’s hands still clutching her wrists, her action only serves to make the chestnut haired girl lose her balance. What results is the law of physics taking its toll, till both girls are now leaning on the bathroom wall, with zero distance between their chests.

They can feel the vibration of each other’s heartbeat, hear the ragged breathing from each other’s lips, and smell that unique body scent on the other that always brings them peace of mind. The air around them becomes stagnant. Each girl is scared to take too deep of a breath in fear of breaking the spell which binds them together, until …

Oh no, I’m slipping. Releasing her hold on Natuski, Shizuru removes the burden of her bodyweight from the other girl. She looks so stiff. I have to come up with something to relax her. “Ara, did Natsuki’s breasts grow bigger recently? Maybe we should stop by the lingerie shop later. I think I need to personally measure your bust size again.”

Natsuki rolls her eyes. “Sometimes I think you’re addicted to teasing me.” She opens the door and walks out of the stall while fixing her black tie. You are not getting a reaction out of me for the third time while we are still in this theatre. Besides, I’m never going into a changing room with you in a lingerie stop ever again!

“An addiction?” I suppose. Shizuru follows Natsuki out the stall. “Then I guess that makes you my drug lord. How can I kick my addiction when you keep supplying me your cute expressions?”

So it’s my fault that I get teased? “If I’m your drug lord, shouldn’t I get paid for feeding your addiction?”

“If I won’t give up my money, will you take my body instead?” A devious smirk.

“Shizuru!” Damn, I did it again! That’s the third time! Take her body? Ahhhhh, these goddamn inappropriate images in my head!!! “Let’s hurry and get back to the movie.” Natsuki exits the bathroom in haste.

Even though Natsuki’s back is facing her, Shizuru can still witness the rapid change of color on the younger girl’s face through the reflection of the side mirrors. Natsuki, if you’re seeking payment for my addiction, just say the word, and you can have my heart, body and soul …

The truth is … even without your cute expressions … I still can’t keep my eyes off you …

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Inside the theatre, after Shizuru and Natsuki have left for the bathroom …

An angry buff man walks over to where Kenta and Jun are sitting.

Angry buff man: Hey, was it you who gave away the killer’s name?

Jun: No no no, you got the wrong person.

Angry buff man: Really? You sound just like that asshole. You both have a distinctively annoying voice.

Jun: I beg your pardon. My voice is sultry, NOT annoying.

Angry buff man: *speedy question* Who is Steve going to kill next?

Jun: *on reflex* Bitchy brunette. *sweat drop* Uhm, I mean. I don’t know?

Angry buff man: Oh, I got you bad, asshole. Step outside with me for a moment.

The angry buff man drags Jun out by his collar.

Jun: Kenta, help!

Kenta: Oh yea, let me get out of the way for you two. I’ll make sure nobody takes your popcorn.

Jun: Help, somebody?

Cheers and clapping fill the darkened room.

Jun: Mr. buff guy, aren’t you going to miss the movie?

Angry buff man: Ha ha, don’t worry. I have you to fill me in on the details later.

Jun: Nooooooo!

----Omake ends----

What do drunk himes talk about?

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 06:21:29 GMT

Title: Himes On Crack (Part V)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1194

Summary: What do drunk himes talk about? Drugs.

It has been a while since I posted anything. The past two weeks I realized that I could only write with a certain mindset. Lots happened and I was in a bad mood most of the time. But I suppose I got my mojo back tonight, hehe. Hope everyone will get a good laugh out of this. =)
______________________________________________________________

Mai, Mikoto, Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Midori are hanging out in a karaoke room on a Sunday night. Everyone is drunk, and weird shit happens.

Nao: Since this is MY karaoke birthday party, shouldn’t I get to choose who’s on and who’s off my guest list?

Midori: I think whoever organized this gathering, in other words, WATASHI, gets to choose who to invite. Besides, I did a damn good job of inviting all your friends …

Natsuki, Nao: *finger points at each other* Who’s friends with that slut / dog over there?

Natsuki, Nao: Who are you calling a dog / slut? *stands up and ready to fight*

Mai: Stop! *throws the microphone at the duo like a boomerang (or Xena’s chakram)*

Natsuki, Nao: OW! *rubs red bump on head*

Mai: I don’t care whose party this is. Nobody picks a fight in the holy temple of karaoke! Mikoto, mic! *snaps finger*

Mikoto runs on all four to the other side of the room to fetch the microphone.

Shizuru: Ara, Tokiha-san. You trained Mikoto-chan so well. I’m impressed.

Mai: Arigato, Mikoto. *pats the black haired girl and grabs microphone* Kaichou, it’s really nothing impressive …

Shizuru: Hmmm … I wonder if I can do this as well. Natsuki, tea! *snaps finger*

Natsuki: Don’t compare me with that single-minded pet of Mai’s! *cross appears on forehead*

Shizuru: *sniff sniff* You raised your voice at me … and for what? A cup of tea? *buries face in hands*

Natsuki: *panic mode* Please, Shizuru. I didn’t mean to upset you. You want tea, right? Hold on. *quickly pours tea into a cup and burns her finger accidentally* Ow!

Shizuru: Are you alright? *brings the injured finger to her lips* Be careful.

Natsuki: Shizuru … *breath quickens*

Midori: Simply put. *sing song voice* S-P-R-U-N-G.

Nao: God, this is what I’m getting for my birthday? Some sappy lesbian trashy romance novel scenario demonstration? Give me a break! *storms out of room*

Midori: Hey, Nao! You can’t walk out on your own party!

Door slam. Awkward silence follows.

Natsuki: Give her some space. Her stuff is still here. She’ll be back.

Mai: But … *heads towards door*

Shizuru reaches out and grabs Mai by the wrist as Mai walks past her seat.

Shizuru: Tokiha-san, please trust Natsuki’s judgment. They are friends after all. *calming smile*

Natsuki: Shizuru! How many times do I have to tell you …

Shizuru: Hai, hai. *sips tea elegantly*

Meanwhile, in the hallway outside the karaoke room …

Nao: You would think that those two could stop making out with each other at least on my birthday. What an eye sore. If only there’s a way I can keep the lovebirds apart …

Nao shoves her hands into her jeans pockets and leans back on the wall.

Nao: Oh my, what have we got here? *pulls a little plastic bag of powder from her pocket* That’s right … I went to the drug store earlier to pick up next week’s man hunt supply. *smirk* This should be interesting …

A karaoke place server with a tray of drinks in hand knocks on the door of the himes’ room.

Nao: Hey handsome, why don’t you let me give you a hand? Those are my friends inside. *winks and blows a kiss*

Server: *heart-shaped eyes* Sure. Thank you, miss. *hands tray over*

As soon as the server is out of sight, Nao pours some powder into a glass of coke and stirs up the drink.

Nao: Take this, Natsuki. You’ll be running out of the room in no time. *devil horns emerge*

Nao enters the karaoke room with the tray.

Nao: *bored voice* Hey, I’m back. I ran into the server down the hall and got our drinks.

Midori: It’s about time! That “I Will Survive” song really dried up my throat.

Natsuki: Took you long enough. Did your head get stuck in the toilet? Give me my coke.

Nao: Here’s your drink. *sweet smile*

Natsuki: *quizzical stare* Okaaay. Who are you? What did you do to Nao?

Nao: Just take your coke before I dump it over your head, god damn it!

Natsuki: *phew* For a moment, I thought I stepped into the twilight zone. *grabs glass*

Mai: Now that we got our drinks, let’s get back to the singing, everyone!

Happy times! The karaoke room is as lively as ever!

Fifteen minutes later …

Nao: *thinks to self* The drugs should have taken effect by now … *buzz buzz* Weird, who’s calling me on a Sunday night?

Nao walks out the room to take the call.

Nao: Who’s this?

Voice: Is this Yuki-san? I’m calling from the drug store. I’m sorry to inform you that there was a little incident when you picked up your merchandise earlier this evening. You see, we had a dyslexic new employee who mixed up LetItGo, the laxative, and LetItRoll, the aphrodisiac …

Nao: You mean, you gave me date rape drugs by mistake? *trembles in anger*

Voice: Yea … Well, we value your patronage. Goodbye!

Nao: HEY! Don’t you hang up on me, you asshole! Shit!

Nao opens the door and is dumbstruck by the sight in front of her.

Natsuki: Shizuru, I feel funny … My body is burning. Let me help you loosen up. *starts unbuttoning the other girl’s white blouse*

Shizuru: Natsuki??? *grabs hold of the wandering hands* What’s wrong with …

Natsuki silences Shizuru with a searing kiss.

Midori: Wow, it’s really getting hot in here. Get a room. *whistles*

Mai: I never knew that Natsuki was such a passionate lover. Alright, next up, Nelly’s “Hot In Herre”.

Mikoto: Mai, why is Natsuki giving Kaichou CPR?

Mai: This is not suitable for your age! *covers Mikoto’s eyes with her left hand* Natsuki’s not performing CPR …

Mikoto: But I’ve seen Mai do it at the beach before. You breathe air into the other person’s mouth and put your hands on …

Mai: *covers Mikoto’s mouth with her right hand* Ahhhh! You don’t have to spell everything out!

Nao: I paid money to see JackAss style explosive diarrhea and now I’m stuck with lesbian porn 101. Shoot me now.

Mikoto: *muffled voice* Can’t … breathe …

Mai: Oh! Sorry, Mikoto. *lets go*

Mikoto chugs the first drink she sees (Natsuki’s coke) to catch her breath.

Nao: Oh my god, can tonight get any worse? Midori, we need to leave NOW!

Midori: What’s going on? *drags her feet towards Nao*

Nao: *whispers* Come with me if you wish to protect your virginity.

Midori: Huh? Why would I lose my … Ow! Be gentle!

Nao: *releases her grip on Midori’s arm* Good night, everyone! Don’t do anything a porn star won’t do! *pushes Midori out the door*

Mai: Where are you guys going? The party just got started! *sighs at Mikoto* I guess it’s just you and me singing tonight.

Mikoto: What about Natsuki and Kaichou?

Mai: I’m not putting the microphone anywhere near them. I don’t want people to hear anything x-rated when they walk past our room.

Fifteen minutes of blissful singing later …

Mikoto: Mai, I think I need CPR … *tackles Mai*

Mai: Eh? Iya!!!!!!!

THE END

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 01:26:38 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VII)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1957

Summary: Shiznat and the Eto brothers face off in front of Fuka Theatre.

Just when I thought I would finally get to write the scene that made me laugh my ass off, I realized that it's going to take me yet another chapter before I can get to that. Classic ficeler37. Queen of dragged out scenes. Boo ... By the way, after reading Natsuki's appearance description, can you guess which L Word character inspired her look? The people who guess right get an anti-Jun ninja star. Heh. I just realized that this is the first time I wrote a dialogue between four people. Wow, harder than I thought it would be. Keep feeling like I'm unfairly silencing someone. Hopefully things won't get too confusing for you dear readers. =)
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Sunday comes like a warrior, armed with pride and determination, ready to step into the battlefield. Two equally gorgeous girls stand side by side in front of the mirror in their bathroom, each admiring the ensemble that they have picked out for the other. On the left side stands the girl with hair the color of the calmest ocean, right before a tempest. Sporting a tight-fitted black ROCKSTAR t-shirt, a loosely knotted black tie, and ripped long dark blue jeans, Natsuki applies some colorless chapstick to her lips. On the right, with a white V-neck, a denim jacket and a black mini-skirt, Shizuru carefully places her eyeliner and lipstick in the makeup pouch. Battle gear, charged and ready.

As the older girl slips into a pair of black stilettos at the foyer, she looks up at Natsuki, who has just put on her black Converse sneakers and opened the door. “Natsuki, is there a reason you asked me to wear your denim jacket today?”

“Just a precaution.” A cryptic grin.

“Against … the summer heat?” Raised eyebrow.

“Let’s try to stay indoors in some air-conditioned places. In the mean time, keep it on. The jacket … looks cute on you.” Turning her head to hide her blush, Natsuki’s last few words came out as a mumble.

“Only because it is yours.” With a dazzling smile, Shizuru hooks her arm around Natsuki’s and closes the door behind them. “Let the party begin.”

---

Outside the Fuka Theatre, two men dressed in completely different styles are standing side by side in front of a movie poster that reads ‘Currently showing – House of Horror’. On the left, a young man with short spiky red hair is tapping his feet to the beat of the hip hop music blasting from his headphones. With a red and white horizontal striped polo shirt, baggy jeans and white Nike basketball sneakers, Kenta’s appearance poses as a sharp contrast to his brother’s. “Seriously, Bro. For Christ’s sake, it’s Sunday. Why do you have to dress like that?”

Adjusting his collar to allow some air flow into his freshly ironed white dress shirt, a shorter mousy looking man replies, “Kenta, I’ve told you before. Fujino-san is the rightful successor to Fujino Corporation. Growing up in a traditional and rich family like that, she is not going to show up in casual wear to the date. I guarantee it.” Jun takes out a pocket watch from his dark gray plaid pants. Frustrated as he checks the time, he kicks a pebble with his brown crocodile skin shoes. “I hate waiting.”

“Chill, man. Being high strung all the time is just going to make your hairline recede faster. Watch out for that widow’s peak of yours. Soon it’s going to swallow you whole and become your trademark.” Kenta shrugs at the fuming man with thinned black hair.

“You mean it’s better to live your stress-free life with unstable income and just head bang to western music all day? Guess what, being high strung got me where I am today with a fat bank account and a promising career.” Jun retorts in a mocking tone.

“I’m not going into the money versus happiness argument with you again.” Now I remember why I don’t like this guy … A sudden uproar at the end of the street makes Kenta snap his head to the direction of the fangirl squeals. A lazy smile creeps up his face as he realizes the source of the commotion. Looking good, girls, looking good …

Following Kenta’s glance, Jun also takes notice of the attractive duo. Not only is he surprised to find his date with a denim jacket, which makes him seem overdressed for the day, there is just something about the two girls hooking arms that does not sit well with his stomach. “Well, at least one of our dates is here. Now we just need to wait for your super shy cutie.” Is that blue haired hot chick glaring at me? Whatever. No need to worry about someone who won’t stick around for long.

“My date? She’s here. You see the girl walking towards us with the black t-shirt and ripped jeans?” Matching outfit? Nice touch, Kuga.

“Since when do our dates know each other?” Okay, so the angry hot chick is here to stay … Just great …

Time to bust out my acting skills. “Wait, don’t tell me. That hottie in the mini skirt is Fujino-san? No offense, but she’s way out of your league.” You still have time to back off, bro.

“Shut up. I’m the perfect man for Fujino-san. I got everything that a woman will ever want and need. As for your date, you think an attractive girl like that is going to fall for you? What do you have to offer, a spray on tattoo everyday?”

You’ve really done it this time. When you’re crying for help and trying to dodge Kuga’s iron fist, I’m gonna be laughing my ass off, you jerk. “You never know, some girls dig tattoos. Anyways, here they come.” Kenta unplugs his headphones and jogs towards the radiant girls who look no worse than the models in fashion magazines. “Took you long enough, Kuga. Good morning, Fujino-san. It’s nice meeting you for the first time.”

First time? Oh … I see what you’re doing. “Nice to meet you, too. Eto-kun, right? Natsuki has told me all about you.” Putting on her most elegant yet deadly smile, Shizuru tightens her grip on Natsuki and pulls her closer to her body as if declaring the ownership of this cute blue puppy.

“Just call me Kenta.” It’s amazing how this woman can kill you with her smile alone. Better establish my friend, not foe status right away. He coughs out his next words in a whisper. “By the way, I’m on your side, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m glad we have an understanding.” Shizuru melts the ice behind her gaze.

“Oi, Shizuru. You pull any harder and my arm is going to fall off.” Even though her tone is one of annoyance, Natsuki is not making any attempt to push away her capturer, merely shaking her head. “Kenta, is that your brother behind you?” Why do I feel like I’ve seen that face before?

“You see that dorky salary-man walking slowly towards us? Yea, that’s him.” Before Jun reaches them, Kenta mouths the words ‘show no mercy’ to Natsuki, then turns around to wave his brother over. “Jun, come meet my sexy date!”

“Ahem.” The cold air surrounding the Kyoto beauty is enough to freeze over hell in a second. Perhaps I should put his name down on my ‘to-finish’ list.

“Sorry, I’m used to talking this way. It’s better than calling Kuga my butt ugly date, right?” With a weak smile, Kenta takes a step back to distance himself from the icy killer intent.

Sensing another dip in temperature, Natsuki quickly silences Kenta with a ‘shut-up-now-before-I-kick-you-in-the-nuts’ look. “Shizuru, don’t mind him. If you mentally block out the stuff that comes out of his mouth, he’s actually an okay guy. That being said, can I have the warm and sweet Shizuru back now?” Her fingers softly caress the smooth skin on the back of the other girl’s hand.

Shizuru closes her eyes. After banishing the frost in her aura, she turns to Natsuki with a lopsided grin and mischief in the crimson orbs. “Anything for my …”

“Good morning, Fujino-san. What a pleasure to see you again. Nice weather, isn’t it?” Jun takes a gentleman bow towards Shizuru, completely ignoring the other two people present.

The arrival of Eto Jun immediately revives the fighting spirit in the ice princess. Natsuki consciously takes a step forward, situating herself as a physical barrier between Shizuru and him. Just so you wait, Eto Jun. By the end of the date, you’ll be sorry you were ever born.

Shizuru switches back to her professional smile. “Good morning to you, too, Eto-san. My father will be pleased of this gathering.” Not only was I interrupted during my love declaration, but seriously, does this man only have one pick-up line? (Ch 2 of the last series first witnesses the birth of Eto Jun, the weather man.) “Allow me to introduce my roommate, this is Kuga Natsuki.” The name rolls off her tongue like coated with honey.

“I’ve heard of you.” Natsuki nods in a barely noticeable way, facing her competition with a bored look.

What an impolite girl. Super shy, my ass. Perfect for that brat Kenta. Wait, Fujino-san said roommate …Oh my god! That’s the bitch that made me eat dust with her motorcycle! “And I remember you.” Jun stares at Natsuki in disdain as realization hits.

Great, now that they’ve declared war, let’s move the bloodbath off the street. Kenta reaches into his pocket and holds out four movie tickets. “Hey, the movie is about to start. Let’s hurry and get us some nice seats.” He begins walking towards the theatre before anyone else reacts.

Dragging Natsuki along to the theatre entrance through their hooked arms, Shizuru looks back at Jun suddenly. “May I ask what we are watching today?”

“House of Horror, best horror film in the last decade. If you are too scared to watch certain scenes, you are welcome to use my shoulder.” After sitting through all the showings of this movie yesterday, I know all the bloody scenes by heart. Fujino-san is surely going to be impressed by how fearless I am later.

Shizuru chuckles softly at the tense muscles under her grip. Don’t you worry, silly Natsuki. There’s only one person I’ll turn to when I’m scared. “I will keep that in mind.” She flashes a courteous smile at the guy who is still trapped in his heroic daydream.

By the time Jun travels back to reality, Shizuru and Natsuki have already entered the theatre, still joined at the hips. As he watches the two girls giggling at each other’s jokes, he can hear the alarm going off in his head. Kuga Natsuki … I have to find a way to get rid of her. I can’t quite put my finger on it right now. But there’s just something strange about her and Fujino-san together …

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Shizuru, Natsuki and Jun are at the concession stand while Kenta is killing time with the ticket boy.

Kenta: How’s it going, dude?

Ticket boy: Pretty good. But you seem to be doing better. I saw who you came in with. Hot, hot, hot!

Kenta: To tell you the truth, I’m actually the third wheel.

Ticket boy: Really? Well, more power to the hotties, and sucks for you, man.

Kenta: Nah, I’ll live. It’s better this way. I’m not interested in getting in the way of true love.

Ticket boy: By the way, I know this movie is rated R and all, but there’s really no need to bring a guardian to get in. The theatre doesn’t care.

Kenta: Guardian?

Ticket boy: Yea, that balding guy that followed you guys in.

Kenta: Oh, him …

Shizuru, Natsuki, and Jun arrive with drinks in hand.

Ticket boy: *To Jun* Sir, you really don’t have to sacrifice your free time and come babysit next time. This theatre is not so strict with the age limit.

Jun: Excuse me, we are on a double date here.

Ticket boy: I’m sorry, sir. You just look so much old …

Jun: More mature, goddamnit!

Jun stomps off to find a seat.

Ticket boy: *To Kenta* Man, your boyfriend is a jumpy one.

Kenta: Right … I gotta go.

Feeling extremely embarrassed, Kenta quickly directs the slightly confused, yet amused girls to their seats.

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 02:55:06 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part VI)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1968

Summary: Shiznat's make up scene.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! To celebrate this joyous holiday, I present to you the Shiznat make up scene! (Note: NOT make out) Back to the fluffy mc-fluff. *Happy sigh* Me like to write about happy things. I definitely feel like I'm back on track. By the way, the double date will begin in the next chapter. Wee! Took me six chapters to get there, but it's finally coming! This chapter will foreshadow what is to come for Jun. Is everybody ready for some Jun torturing? Hehe.
___________________________________________________________________

Warm unabashed sunrays enter Shizuru’s room through the off-white sheer curtains and cast an ethereal glow on the sleeping Kyoto beauty. Next to the recently acquired purple snake stuffed toy at the night stand is an antique alarm clock. At exactly six thirty in the morning, the melodic tune of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ fills the tidy bedroom, putting a little frown on those red luscious lips. Blurry view of the cute little snake slowly comes into focus as Shizuru travels further and further away from her subconscious. Realizing at what she is looking, her little frown flips to a small smile as she recalls the lively amusement park date.

Yet another beautiful day … Time to go wake up Natsuki. I hope she’s not mad at me still … Running her fingers through chestnut colored tresses, Shizuru slides her feet into a pair of fluffy purple slippers. On a side note, she has also bought a matching blue pair for the ice princess next door. But the fluffy blue counterpart is currently tucked away safely underneath the bed, as Natsuki prefers to walk around the apartment barefooted.

After opening her door, Shizuru takes a deep breath to sample the morning air, only to find a horrendous burning smell coming from the kitchen’s direction. I thought I told her not to use the kitchen without my direct supervision … She’s up already? Turning her head towards the room next door only confirms her suspicion. The university student chuckles at the body pillow lying on the floor along with half the blanket dangling from the bed. Yet another morning with the bedroom being ripped apart by the tornado named Natsuki. First sign of normalcy for the day. This is good. Next, we investigate the mysterious odor …

“Natsuki, are you in the kitchen?” Muffled footsteps approach the source of the stench, but come to a halt at the sound of a turning key from the foyer.

As the blue haired girl walks through the door, she is surprised to see her best friend staring back at her. “Oh … hi, good morning.” She quickly hides the brown bag in her hand behind her back. Damn, I wanted it to be a surprise.

“Good morning, Natsuki. I see that you got out of bed all by yourself this morning. What a surprise.” Ara, I wonder what she is hiding from me …

“I didn’t sleep well last night. Since I woke up earlier than usual, I just went to take a walk in the neighborhood.” Her body tenses up under the Kyoto woman’s intense gaze. Am I really that easy to read? I swear this woman has x-ray vision in her past life.

“Hm ... did you use the kitchen this morning?”

“How did you know I …” She sees Shizuru tap at her own nose and sniffs the air. Shit, I forgot to …

“If you don’t want me to find out, try throwing out the trash next time before you leave the apartment.” With a smirk, she heads towards the kitchen. “Can you open the windows while I take care of our little stinky problem?”

By the time Shizuru gets back from disposing the garbage, Natsuki has already laid out two plates of egg salad sandwiches and two glasses of orange juice on the table. “Go wash your hands and have a seat.” Lowering her head to hide her blush, the younger girl pushes out the chair from underneath the table.

A minute later, Shizuru sits down with a raised eyebrow. “So … what’s with the royal treatment this morning?” Can my Natsuki be any cuter? Bright red cheeks and timid glances … Hm … what’s on her mind?

“When I got back to the apartment last night, you already closed your bedroom door. And I didn’t want to bother you because you probably need your beauty sleep. I mean, not that you’re not beautiful already. Who wants dark circles underneath their eyes anyways? Then this morning I was trying to make us breakfast but the toaster wasn’t working properly and the toasts turned out like charcoals. We can’t eat that. The toasts will stain our teeth …”

“Natsuki, you’re almost out of oxygen and you are still not getting to the point.” Shizuru pushes a glass of orange juice closer to the out of breath girl. “Now take a deep breath and tell me. What are you really trying to do?”

Natsuki takes a big gulp of juice and blurts out the phrase that she rehearsed for hours before bed. “I’m sorry.”

“Pardon?” Rapid blinking. Did she just …

“Pay attention! I’m apologizing to you!” Ahhh, I’m not supposed to be raising my voice… Natsuki clears her throat and looks intently at the girl across the table. “Uhm, about last night, I’m sorry I reacted like an idiot. The date is all Eto Jun’s fault, not yours. Would you mind erasing the words that came out of my mouth from your memory?”

Ho ho, let the bargaining begin. “You made it sound like it’s just as easy as deleting files from a computer hard drive. I think it’s going to take more than an egg salad sandwich and a glass of orange juice to do the trick.” A finger on her cheek and one hand on the elbow, Fujino Shizuru’s signature pose.

“Is that so …” Puppy ears droop down.

KAWAII!!! But I can’t back down now. Keep your eyes on the big money, Shizuru. “You owe me kisses.”

“What?” Her knuckles on the glass turn white instantly at the sudden increased pressure.

First, you bring out the bait. “By the way, I made you some of my specialty mayonnaise from scratch while you were out last night. Would you like to try some with your sandwich?”

Now that the M word is in the picture, Shizuru’s last comment is erased from Natsuki’s mind just as easy as emptying the recycling bin on the computer desktop. “Really? You’re letting me eat mayonnaise in the morning?” Puppy ears perk up.

Then, the distraction commences. “I put the bowl of mayonnaise on top of the TV last night. You didn’t see it?”

The younger girl twists her upper body to the right with an eager look.

Attack! Shizuru leans in to give Natsuki a quick peck on the left cheek and pulls back as soon as the deed is done.

“Hey!” Imaginary smoke comes out of the head of a heavily blushing Natsuki.

And before the trick gets old … “Ara, how absent-minded of me. This morning I moved the bowl to the kitchen counter.”

Driven by her love for mayonnaise, she ignores the alarm from the logical side of her brain and looks to her left.

Here I go again! Shizuru plants another kiss on the defenseless right cheek.

“AHHHH!” Damn this woman!

Giggles erupt from the kiss-a-holic as she wipes a tear at the corner of her eye. “I can’t believe you fell for it twice.”

“I swear, nothing from you can make me turn my head again!” Natsuki crosses her arms in front of her chest with a determined expression on her face.

“Really? How about …” Locking their gazes, Shizuru shifts her body weight forward, inch by inch …

You are bluffing. I’m NOT moving my head. Wipe that smug smile off your face, Shizuru. I mean it. Uhm … that’s close enough … Hey, stop! You are going to … I … Without her noticing, Natsuki is now staring at the lips that are advancing ever so slowly towards her own, her mind completely blank.

Both girls holding their breaths, the distance between them diminishes at each passing second, until …

“You licked me!”

Shizuru sticks out her tongue, the same one that grazes the tip of Natsuki’s nose a second ago. “Silly Natsuki. It’s in the fridge.” As much as I’d like to kiss Natsuki, this is not the right time …

“Huh? What’s in the fridge?” With all the blood rushed to her brain, a slightly disoriented Natsuki is having trouble remembering the topic of discussion.

“Your mayonnaise. That’s my peace offering. I’m sorry for pushing you so hard about Eto Kenta last night …” This time it is Shizuru who lowers her eyes.

“Yea, about him …” I’m going to come clean, once and for all. Natsuki spends the next fifteen minutes explaining to Shizuru how she met Kenta, how they became acquaintances, and how she bribed Kenta into making the double date happen.

“So you’re going on Sunday’s date with me?” Am I hearing this right? I don’t have to face that creep alone?

The doubt in Shizuru’s voice fails to escape Natsuki’s ears. “Uh huh.” A reassuring smile. “Shizuru, I’m not the ignorant girl bent on revenge anymore. You can rely on me if you’re in trouble. In fact, I WANT you to let me help. Don’t try to fight a war without me on your side, okay?” She reaches out to grab hold of Shizuru’s hand.

“Natsuki …” Shizuru places her forehead on top of their joined hands. With the sincerity of a devoted follower worshipping her goddess, she whispers, “Thank you.”

“Don’t need to thank me. One of the reasons I asked you to move in with me is so that it’s easier for me to protect you from stalkers and petty suitors. I’m just doing my job here.” She gently pats the chestnut colored curls.

Letting out a satisfied sigh, Shizuru sits up and resumes her favorite pondering pose. “Would it be wrong for me to look forward to the date now?”

Natsuki’s eyebrows draw closer together in concern. “What if for some reason I’m not around and you can’t fend off his advances? Aren’t you worried about that?”

“If all else fails, I’ll just follow your example.” Innocent smile.

“What do you mean?” She narrows her eyes.

“Kick him in the balls.” Evil smirk.

“The famous Fuka University student council president engaging in acts of violence?” Natsuki fakes a gasp as she places her palm on her chest. With an equally devious grin, she leans back on her chair and takes a long hard look at her best friend. “I think I can get used to that.”

Traces of last night’s awkwardness and uneasiness evaporate in thin air. The Kuga-Fujino household is once again filled with laughter and mirth.

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta: Hey bro, do you mind if I bring a girl and tag along to your date this Sunday? Please say yes. Yes, yes, yes …

Jun: Wait, how do you even know I have a date?

Kenta: Uh … Lie out of your ass! C’mon, it’s all over your face. You’ve been glowing all day. Ew! My brother glowing? That’s disgusting.

Jun: Really? It’s that obvious? By the way, the answer is no. The rightful heiress of the Fujino Empire is not like the random skanks on the street. I don’t want you to screw up my date.

Kenta: Help me out just this once, will ya? My girl is hella hot but super shy, and she won’t go out with me unless it’s a double date. I swear I won’t get in your way. Though I am not making any promises about what Kuga might do to you…

Jun: Fine, you owe me. By the way, have you been using my pump? Check out the size of your package.

Kenta: *Looks down* Oh, that. I ordered the gear online to protect my manhood. I got an extra set. You want it?

Jun: Are you kidding? Hell no.

Kenta: Don’t say I never warned you. The ladies can be cruel.

Jun: Please, who would want to hurt a gentleman like me?

Kenta: *Shakes head* You’ll be surprised…

----Omake ends----

What do drunk himes talk about?

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 05:07:31 GMT

Title: Himes on Crack (Part IV)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 814

Summary: What do drunk himes talk about? Super Bowl.

This is just some silliness I wrote while watching the Super Bowl on TV last night. Honestly, not up to par with my usual stuff. But since I wrote it, I might as well post it. Now you may ask, why would a Japanese high school girl be interested in American Football, and why would a karaoke place in Japan be showing the game? Well ... Natsuki has special interests ... and ... the owner of the karaoke bar is an America freak? Yea, it's a bit far-fetched. Oh well, this is the ON CRACK series! Don't take things so seriously. Heh.
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Mai, Mikoto, Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Midori are hanging out in a karaoke room on a Sunday night. Everyone is drunk, and weird shit happens.

Mai: Alright, who’s going next? *holds the microphone out*

Natsuki: Mai, do you mind switching to the channel that is doing live broadcast of Super Bowl?

Mai: I did not come HERE to watch American football!!!

Natsuki: Fine, let’s take a vote. Mikoto, do you want a Super Bowl? *pushes a tiny bowl of ramen in front of Mikoto*

Mikoto: Super Bowl! Super Bowl!

Mai: Hey, that’s cheating!

Natsuki: Mai, you heard your pet. *grabs Shizuru’s hand and brings it up to her lips* What about you, Shizuru? *big wet smooch*

Shizuru: *glazed eyes* You know I can never say no to you. *without turning head* Tokiha-san, I would also like to watch the Super Bowl, please.

Mai: Argh, your girlfriend doesn’t count.

Natsuki: Whatever. So far that’s three to one. Hey Nao, you don’t mind, right?

Nao: If watching football means I get to avoid doing a rendition of The Weather Girls’ ‘It’s Raining Men’ in this ridiculous go-go girl outfit, then yes, you have my vote.

Mai: Oh c’mon, Nao. You would rather watch soaking sweaty men pile on top of each other than bask in the sacred glow of karaoke?

Shizuru: *Thinks to self* Watching them on TV versus singing about them, either way, the unattractive men win. *Sigh*

Nao: Nah, sweaty men don’t faze me. I think that glow you mentioned scares me more …

Natsuki: As expected, Nao can’t say no to ugly men drenched in sweat.

Nao: What’s that supposed to mean?

Natsuki: Don’t deny it. I saw you hooking arms with some construction workers right after their shifts back in our hime days.

Nao: Hey, back then I didn’t approach those guys because I liked them, alright? Muscle boys don’t have brains. It was easier to trick them. Besides, they’re not my target anymore nowadays.

Natsuki: Oh right, now you’re into bald dudes with bad breath. I saw the guy you were with last night. He practically swallowed half a bottle of minty breath spray before meeting up with you. You know what, tons of football players shave their heads. This is just your cup of tea.

Nao: Okay, just for telling me this, I’m going to side with Mai.

Natsuki: You can’t change your vote!

Mai: That’s two to three, Natsuki. Blame your big mouth.

Natsuki: Argh! Midori, wake up! Say you wanna watch the Super Bowl.

Mai: Uhm … I think she’s too drunk to respond.

Natsuki: Damnit, who gets passed out BEFORE Super Bowl even starts???

Shizuru: Ara, since Midori-sensei’s vote is void, doesn’t it mean that my Natsuki gets to watch her game?

Natsuki: Good point, Shizuru! No wonder you’re my favorite! *Quick peck on lips*

A panicking Mai is now slapping Midori repeatedly.

Mikoto: Super Bowl! Super Bowl! Where is my Super Bowl?

Mai: Mikoto, you’re not helping! This is how you repay me for taking baths with you?

Shizuru: On second thought, Tokiha-san, you get my vote.

Natsuki: WHAT? *Bloodshot eyes*

Mai: Kaichou, are you sure?

Shizuru: Yes. Hundred percent sure. *sips tea calmly*

Natsuki: Fujino Shizuru, what is the meaning of this? *cross pulses on forehead*

Shizuru: C’mon, Natsuki. Let’s go home. I’ll buy you two packs of beer on our way.

Natsuki: Wait, we are taking off just like that?

Shizuru: My dear, remember how there are wheels underneath the TV table?

Natsuki: Yea … so what?

Shizuru: I’m thinking … you, me, hot tub, cold beer, Super Bowl on TV …

Nao: Just leave already, you dog. Go home and enjoy your game … in whatever way pleases you two. And for your information, nudity is not allowed here in the karaoke room.

Natsuki: Who said I’m going to get naked?

Shizuru: We’re not? *puppy eyes*

Natsuki: Uhm …

Natsuki looks back and forth between Shizuru and the rest of her friends.

Natsuki: Run, Shizuru!

Shizuru: Huh?

Natsuki grabs Shizuru’s hand and runs for the door.

Thunderous footsteps fade out.

Mai: Finally, I can sing in peace.

Nao: I’ll sing but I’m still not going to bask in the freaky glow you talked about.

Mikoto: Super Bowl! Super Bowl!

Mai: *grabs at hair* AHHHHHH! We don’t have Super Bowl here! If you want it so badly, go track down Natsuki and Kaichou!

Mikoto rushes out the door like a wild beast.

Nao: You do know that Fujino is going to torture you tomorrow, right?

Mai: Shiiiiiit! Mikoto, wait for me!

Mai sprints after the black dot now miles away.

Nao stares at the drunk high school teacher sprawled on the floor with red puffy cheeks.

Nao: Oh hell no, I’m not paying for tonight.

Nao exits the karaoke room on tip toes.

An oblivious Midori snores to the rhythm of ‘It’s Raining Men’.

TNE END.

Shizat On A Double Date!

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 01:46:01 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part V)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG, R for the omake
Word count: 1724

Summary: Shiznat's first real fight! Natsuki and Kenta as partners in crime.

This chapter took me a looooong time. I kept rewriting the fighting scene because my first draft made Shiznat really really mean towards each other, and it made me wanna cry while reading it. But since then, I've really toned down the argument, and voila, the presented chapter. Personally I hate fight scenes, but for the sake of the plot, sorry Shiznat! But hey, that's what make-up ... wait, they can't be DOING it at this point, uhm, yea, you know what I mean. I hope you'll find the addition of Kenta as a regular to be entertaining. I certainly had fun writing his lines. LOL. For all you Mai/Mikoto fans out there, watch out for the omake!
__________________________________________________________________

“Yes, I have talked to my father ...” Shizuru can feel her blood pressure rising at the mention of her nice family chat. Sometimes I really hate being a Fujino … “This Sunday morning at ten at the Fuka Theatre? That is fine ...” We better not be watching a romantic comedy together. Oh no, just the thought of it makes me want to throw up …

A couple feet away from the sofa, Natsuki has stopped all interactions with her delicious dinner and is now giving the Kyoto woman a hundred percent of her attention. But with Shizuru’s back turned, she is unable to observe the older girl’s facial expressions, thus making it harder to make sense of the situation. Is it Kenta who’s calling her? Am I hearing this right? He’s asking her out???

“No, it's okay. I can get there myself ... Yes, I agree that a sports car is a magnificent vehicle. Unfortunately I have a problem with motion sickness, and I certainly do not wish to deprive you of a more rewarding driving experience ...” What is this macho obsession with sports cars? “Please, I insist ...”

Wait, it can’t be Kenta. That guy can’t afford a sports car, he gives tattoos! A bicycle, maybe. Then who is on the other side of the phone?

“I will see you then. Goodbye and good night.” Hmmm … what are the chances of him getting run over by a truck before Sunday comes? I don’t think I’m asking for too much. If only I still have Kiyohime around …

Natsuki watches the other girl walk silently back to the dinner table after hanging up. Dinner resumes like the past few minutes never happened. Coming to the conclusion that the other girl is not going to reveal what is on her mind on her own, she huffs out a sigh.

“Aren't you going to tell me what's going on?” She strives to make eye contact with the chestnut haired girl.

Shizuru replies without looking up. “Just a business meeting this Sunday.” Please let it drop. I really don’t want to get you involved in this fiasco.

“You're having a BUSINESS meeting in a movie theatre? Riiiight. Next thing I know, you'll be telling me that the meeting is in the amusement park.” Why are you lying to me? Just hours ago you were telling me that I could take my time figuring out my feelings. Was that a lie too? Am I running out of time?

“Please, Natsuki. I am not any happier about this ... arrangement than you are. This Eto Jun guy somehow got to my father and cornered me into meeting him this weekend.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about it right from the start? Don’t you trust me?” Am I not reliable enough for you to lean on when you’re troubled?

“Of course I trust you. I just didn’t have time to bring up the subject ...” The Eto Jun matter can wait. Back to the topic before I was interrupted by the phone call. “Anyways … were you ever going to tell me about Eto Kenta? I’m not trying to control with whom you are friends, but I am just surprised that you had made a friend in the past week without me knowing.”

Even though Shizuru is delivering her speech with the most even voice, Natsuki can still detect the jealousy hiding behind the words. “There’s nothing to say about him. I barely know him.”

“I beg to differ. He was calling you ‘Natsuki-chan’ over the phone today.” Thinking about it makes me want to smack him.

“Hold on, you talked to him on the phone?” Damn that Kenta. I told him I would castrate him if I ever heard those syllables come out of his mouth. “I need some air. Too much information in such a short amount of time. I’m taking my bike for a run. Don't stay up to wait for me.”

“Natsuki, don’t …”

“You know what? Who am I to meddle in your personal life? While I'm out, you can start thinking about what you're gonna wear and do on your DATE this Sunday. Bye.” I knew from the start that Shizuru was going to marry a nice young man whom her family approves. How foolish of me to think that she will actually wait for me.

The girl left behind can swear that green eyes were tearing up as Natsuki walked out the door. Slumping down on the sofa, she buries her face in her hands. Natsuki … baka.

---

The sound of a revving engine fills the semi-busy streets in downtown Fuka. A dark blue motorcycle darts in and out of traffic like water flowing through stone cracks – frictionless and unstoppable. But no matter how fast she goes and how much oxygen is rushing into her helmet, Kuga Natsuki still finds it impossible to get rid of the stifling feeling in her lungs, that feeling of something essential being ripped out of her.

Unable to reach the usual satisfaction from being one with her dark blue steel, Natsuki stops outside a random convenient store, hoping to find the new release of unknown mayonnaise flavors. As she walks through the glass sliding doors in search of her comfort food, the sight of a red haired guy with semi-glazed black eyes paying at the register makes her eyes bulge out of her sockets. What a small world, just the punching bag I’m looking for.

“YOU! Come with me!” She gives the guy’s arm a nice hard squeeze and drags him out of the store.

Struggling to not fall flat on his face, the soon-to-be punching bag looks at his attacker in surprise. “Ow! Hey, it’s you! How are you doing, gir … rrrl?!?!” Kenta drops to the floor with watery eyes, his hand covering his private parts.

“This is for calling me ‘Natsuki-chan’ today.” Natsuki takes out a tissue paper and wipes at the invisible germs on her right shoe.

Still trying to catch his breath, Kenta looks up at Natsuki incredulously. “Wait, how did you … Oooooh, I guess you’ve talked to HER already.”

“You bet I’ve talked to Shizuru.” Natsuki crosses her arms and leans on her metallic friend. “Hmm, you are recovering pretty quickly.”

Pulling himself off the ground, he first does a neck rotation stretch then examines the front of his pants for any suspicious looking footprints. “Believe me, you are not the only girl who wants to kick me in the crotch. I got protection on a daily basis.” Satisfied with his inspection, he returns his attention to his beautiful but dangerous companion. “Wow, nice motorcycle. By the way, no offense, but you are sooooo gay.”

“What? Where did that come from?” Blood rushes rapidly up the blue haired girl’s face.

Kenta puts on his Mr. Encyclopedia look. “Haven’t you heard of Dykes on Bikes?”

“No … since when did you become the shoujo ai guru?” Sometimes I wonder if this guy is in the closet …

“*Pfft* It's more of a western queer culture trend. Let’s just say that in my quest of becoming a ladies man, I have come across all sorts of literature. Anyhow, not that you’re a cheery person to begin with, but you seem extra upset tonight, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing that you can help me with anyways ...” She turns her gaze to the small pebbles on the side of the road, her heart unfamiliar with a person’s caring tone.

“Let me guess, bedroom problems?” Kuga style rocket punch! “Ow!”

“Argh! Get your mind out of the gutter! Right now I just want to know who the hell this Eto Jun is and why he is going out with Shizuru this weekend.”

“The why is pretty obvious. I mean, who wouldn't want to be with that hot ...” Neon green laser beam, activate. “*Cough* As I was saying, now for the who ... Did you just say Eto Jun? That’s funny. My brother’s name is Eto Jun.”

“You’re related to him?” Shocked to hear the breakthrough news in Shizuru’s Sunday date development, Natsuki jumps up and grabs Kenta by the collar with a rough pull.

“Hey, relax with the fists! You’ve met your let’s-beat-up-Kenta quota tonight. The thing is, we don’t even know if we’re talking about the same person here.”

“Okay, did you brother say anything about a movie at Fuka Theatre on Sunday morning?” She takes a deep breath and releases the slightly shaken guy.

“Uhm … now that you brought it up, last night he did ask me about the horror movies showing on Sunday …”

“Kenta, we are tagging along on their date. Better yet, make it a double date.” Just like that old saying … If you can’t defeat the devil, join the devil.

“Please tell me you're joking.” God, what did I just get myself into?

“I don't care what you need to say to your brother. Blackmail him if you have to. Just make it happen, alright?”

“Assume that I got us on this date. What do I get out of this?” *Smirk*

The unexpected question renders Natsuki speechless for a few seconds. “Uhm … food? … Wait, he’s not a dog … Oh, I have an idea! I’ll introduce you to some decent female friends of mine.”

“Mega boobies?” Black eyes glistening with hope.

Is this what guys can only think about? On the other hand, Mai does have above average size breasts … “Yea, yea …” Natsuki can only roll her eyes. In order to protect Shizuru, someone needs to be sacrificed. Rest in peace, Mai.

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Mai and Mikoto are taking a bubble bath in their school dorm room.

Mai: Mikoto, come closer so that I can wash your hair!

Mikoto: OKAY!

Mikoto approaches Mai while pushing all the bubbles floating in the water towards her busty owner.

Mai: What are you trying to do this time?

Mikoto: Mai’s breasts are the best!

Mikoto bounces the bubbles on Mai’s supple bosoms and tries to capture the rebounding airy bubbles with her mouth.

Mai: Don’t eat the bubbles in the air! The soap is going to make you sick!

Mikoto’s brows furrow for a moment.

Mikoto: I’ll eat the bubbles on you then.

Mai: IYA!!!!!!!!!

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 03:57:17 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part IV)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1667

Summary: Ninja Kenta is back! Storm alert in the Shiznat household!

A slightly longer update than usual. Wee! Trying hard to push the plot, but still comes up short. Ahhh, there is really no point of me to estimate plot progression in each chapter. So far I've had a 100% chance of not meeting the goal. *Sigh* I don't find this chapter (the main content) as funny as the previous ones, possibly cuz of the plot development. Well, I hope the omake makes up for the crack!
____________________________________________________________________

After the unpleasant conversation with her father, Shizuru curls up on the sofa with her eyes closed, still getting adjusted to the idea that she will have to go on a date with a stranger in a few days. Struggling to soothe the distracting ripples in her mind, she tries to focus only on her senses of touch and smell to clear her mind a bit.

The couch is so soft ... soft like Natsuki's skin. The fresh smell of the cotton sofa cover is surprisingly familiar. Hmmm ... is it because Natsuki's natural odor is embedded into the material? Hehe, does this count as indirectly kissing her butt? Not that I would mind.

Thanks to a couple minutes of silent giggling, the thought of Natsuki relaxes her tense muscles effortlessly. She sits up, opens her eyes again, and lets a sense of calmness wash over her. No point worrying about something I can't control. Let's do laundry instead.

As Shizuru walk in and out of her room and Natsuki’s room to gather the dirty clothes, a crumbled up receipt on the floor catches her eye. Weird, I thought I had the Fukea receipt for the bed … Picking up the dingy strip of paper, she quickly notices the phone number scribbled on the back. Yet another Eto … A phone number that starts with 666? Is this Eto Kenta secretly a satan worshipper? Wait a minute, I’ve made a similar comment for another phone number before.

To confirm her suspicion, Shizuru takes out her cell phone, and skims through her phone book. Aha, I knew I’ve seen that number before. My ex-landlord asked me to call that number if I ever locked myself out of the apartment. This Kenta must be related to my ex-landlord then. But how come Natsuki has his number?

Sitting down on Natsuki’s bed, her memory rewinds back to her moving in days. The more she thinks about all the possible reasons for Natsuki’s possession of the number, the more her eyebrows draw closer together. It’s not even her handwriting on the receipt. What is going on here?

Before Shizuru realizes what she is doing, the other end of the phone is already ringing next to her ear. Why do I feel like a wife who is trying to catch her husband cheating? Don’t be so paranoid! I should just wait for Natsuki to come back and ask her. Just as she is about to put down the phone, a vibrant voice shoots out from the receiver.

“Yo, what’s up? Kenta’s in the house!” Hip hop music can be heard in the background.

The unexpected reply renders Shizuru temporarily speechless. A million thoughts are running through her mind. What if I say something that will lead to the discovery of a secret that Natsuki is trying to hide from me? Do I want to know about it? Do I?

Miles away from the Kuga/Fujino residence, a stylishly dressed young man with red spiky hair is scratching his head. Hmm … don’t recognize the number. If it’s a tenant, someone should be saying something by now. Ohhhh, don’t tell me, I know who this is. “Hello? Is this Natsuki-chan?” If it’s her, she’ll flip out on me for using ‘chan’ on her. That should get her to speak up. If it’s not, what’s the harm?

The term of endearment shatters all the self-doubt that was plaguing her just moments ago. She can feel the blood in her veins dropping in temperature rapidly. “Wrong guess. Natsuki is still at school. Ara, is this Eto Kenta-kun?” Who are you? How dare you call her that?

Someone who knows Natsuki? Kyoto-ben? The ability to transform the most polite words into bloody sharp knives? Ahhhh! Shit, shit, shit! It’s HER! As soon as Kenta realizes to whom he is talking, he hangs up the phone by instinct. After taking a couple deep breaths to slow down his galloping heart rate, he begins to regret his action.

Damn, I should have said that I’m not Kenta at least. What if she calls me back? As if I don’t have enough women troubles already, I really don’t need an angry girlfriend on my back right now. For his peace of mind, Kenta decides to turn off his cell phone. I hope I didn’t just get Kuga into trouble …

Shizuru looks down at her cell phone; the satanic phone number has disappeared from the glass display. A part of her is annoyed with how little information she got out of this phone call. Yet a bigger part of her is sighing in relief. I don’t want to jump into conclusions here. What are the chances of Natsuki stashing away a boyfriend behind my back? I’m sure she will have a good explanation for this. Shizuru, have faith.

---

When Natsuki opens the door to her apartment, she is pleasantly surprised by the sweet scent coming out from the kitchen. Yay, mayonnaise for dinner! I wonder what the big occasion is … “Shizuru! I’m home!” Shaking off her shoes in a hurry, she jogs to the kitchen and finds the older girl in her cute form-fitting pink apron.

Never letting the stove leave her sight, Shizuru replies with her back still turned. “Welcome home, Natsuki. Want to give me a little kiss before setting the table?”

“You wish.” Keeping her head down to avoid eye contact with the smirking girl, Natsuki reaches for the utensils drawer next to the stove.

“Hmmmm … how much mayonnaise should I put into this dish tonight? Come to think of it, maybe I should water down the mayonnaise sauce in the other dish too …”

Ahhhh, you evil woman! Fine! You wanna play this way? Lightly pushing the chestnut hair back, Natsuki gives Shizuru’s shoulder a solid kiss, even emphasizing the smooching sound. HA, I WON! “There.”

“Cheater.” Oh well, a kiss is a kiss. I should have been more specific …

“Extra mayonnaise on the fried fish, please.” You think I’ll let you take advantage of me every single time? Grinning like a cat that just caught a fish, Natuski almost skips out of the kitchen with bowls and chopsticks in hand.

*Sigh* Why did I have to use that word? Natsuki can’t be a cheater for real. What if this turns into a case of self-fulfilling prophecy? Soon … the moment of truth will come … Putting in a few extra squeezes on the mayonnaise bottle, Shizuru stares down at her handiwork with a worried look.

---

Even though the dishes tonight are all her favorites, Natsuki can sense an uneasy feeling seeping out from the person who is having more sips of tea then bites of rice through out dinner so far. She seemed fine while preparing the food. Did something happen when I wasn't looking? Not quite sure how to ask Shizuru what is bothering her, Natsuki decides to keep her mouth shut. Thus the dinner table is more quiet than usual.

The sudden creak of Shizuru’s chair is deafening in the absence of other sounds. Shizuru excuses herself from the table and walks into the kitchen. One minute of rhythmic chopping noises later, she comes back out with a mountain of green onions on a round plate. She puts the plate down next to her bowl and takes a few sips of her green tea. Silence reigns the dinner table once again.

Finally, Natsuki cannot stand the stillness anymore. “Shizuru, what is the meaning of the green onions?”

“Who is Eto Kenta?”

Natsuki chokes on her rice. Oh my god, how did she hear that name? “Who?”

The older girl pushes the plate of green onions closer to the mayonnaise dishes. “E-TO KEN-TA.” Crimson eyes stare straight ahead at the fidgeting figure.

Should I just tell Shizuru how I met him? Will she think too much of this? The blue haired girl narrows her eyes at the wickedness that threatens to contaminate her dinner. I need to be careful with my answers. “Uhm, just a random guy.”

“Really? So how did you …”

*Ring ring ring*

Shizuru twists her head around and glances at her cell phone on the sofa. The ring tone indicates a phone number that is not in my phone book. Oh no, could it be …

Saved by the bell … wait, I mean, ring!!! “Are you going to get that?” Natsuki looks at the other girl quizzically.

What horrible timing … Shizuru picks up her cell phone. “Hello, Fujino speaking.”

What comes out of Shizuru’s mouth next sends Natsuki choking on her rice for the second time tonight.

“Good evening to you too, Eto-san.”

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Kenta has just turned off his cell phone.

Meanwhile, in the Fuka police station …

Jail guard: You get one phone call. Make it quick.

Jun: I’m a lawful citizen! In fact, I’m a lawyer! How did I end up in a jail cell when all I did was getting a questionable speeding ticket?

Jail guard: You can complain to the judge later. I’m not paid to hear you whine about your sucky life.

Jun: ARGH! Fine, give me the phone.

Jun waits for Kenta to pick up the phone. *Imagine jeopardy theme song in background*

A soft click is heard from the other end of the phone.

Jun: Kenta, bail me out! I’m at …

Kenta: What’s up, chicas! If you’re looking for some loving …

Jun hangs up the phone with a grunt.

Jun: Damn my irresponsible brother! Now I gotta call Dad. This is so embarrassing … HEY, GUARD! Where are you taking my phone?

Jail guard: Your one phone call is up.

Jun: But I got the answering machine!

Jail guard: It’s not my fault that you have rotten luck. Don’t gimme that shit face. Repenting your sins might make you feel better. Later.

Jun: Wait! Come back! Noooooooooooooo!

Jun ends up spending the entire afternoon in the jail cell.

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 05:42:48 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part III)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1593

Summary: Shiznat having lunch. An unexpected phone call for Shizuru.

I'm moving on with my plot! Yay for me! The omake was a bit long this time. By the way, is there a general rule that omakes need to be short and to the point? I think I may be guilty of giving random people too much screen time. Anyhow, it's funny that this Shiznat scene was actually written about 2 months ago, but I just couldn't fit it into my previous series somehow. I'm glad it gets to see the light of the day finally. =)
___________________________________________________________________

At Shizuru’s suggestion, the two girls head to the cafeteria and carry some sandwiches back to the university’s student council meeting room. Even though initially Natsuki planned on taking the other Kyoto woman out for lunch, she was not going to complain about enjoying their meal in an air-conditioned room under the summer heat. Plus, having the cafeteria and student council facilities be housed in the same building just makes evading rogue fangirls that much easier.

After a harsh yank on the door, Natsuki walks into the spacious yet unoccupied room with Shizuru trailing closely behind. With her back turned, the older girl slides the door shut with a barely noticeable smirk. The sound of wood colliding with the fresh painted frame is followed by a sneaky little click. When she turns around again, Shizuru finds that Natsuki has already plopped herself on top of the president’s desk. Shizuru smiles at the space reserved for her, made evident by the placement of her sandwich.

Swinging their feet around absentmindedly, they kick off their lunch break with light conversations, with topics ranging from the status of the Mai/Mikoto relationship to what is for dinner tonight. But the dialogue is soon steered towards a fangirls complaint fest, due to an unconscious effort on Natsuki’s part.

“… I just can’t imagine how you deal with those crazy obsessed girls everyday. Don’t they have better things to do than hovering around you like flies on shit? WAIT, I don’t mean you’re like … that. Shit, what am I … AHHHH, I just said it again! The bottom line is, Shizuru, you don’t smell, ok?” Jesus Christ, what the hell just came out of my mouth?!?!

Shizuru swallows the last bite of her sandwich and lands her feet on the hardwood floor with a little push off the desk. “Well, I’m glad to hear that I don’t smell. We share the same bottle of shampoo, remember?” As if Natsuki wasn’t blushing enough already, the standing figure seems determined to witness a new shade of red on the other girl’s face.

Pivoting gracefully on her toes, Shizuru traps the flushed girl on the desk by putting her hands on either side of her body. As she lightly rests her forehead on Natsuki’s shoulder, provocative words escape her lips. “The more interesting question is … Natsuki, are you jealous of the fangirls?”

“Of course not!” Naturally, this is an answer on reflex.

“Really?” Shizuru accentuates the pronunciation of the word to emphasize her doubt.

Natsuki feels like the hot breath on her shoulder is shattering her wall of resolve effortlessly, that same wall which has successfully fended off people who try to get close to her true emotions in the past. “Well, maybe a little …” A murmur only audible to Shizuru’s ears due to the position of the two bodies.

With a small smile, Shizuru raises her head from Natsuki’s shoulder. Gently using her palm to guide Natsuki’s gaze, the two girls are now staring directly into each other’s eyes. “Tell me. What does Natsuki see?”

“You.” An honest and immediate response.

“And?” Hiding behind the Kyoto ben is an encouraging tone.

She looks deeper into the crimson eyes. A splitting image of herself looks back intensely at her. “… me?”

“Uh huh.” To avoid startling the ice princess, Shizuru tips her head forward little by little until their foreheads make contact. In such close proximity, she lets her voice come out in a whisper. “Just in case Natsuki forgot, let me remind you once again. What you saw in my eyes is all I see. Shouldn’t you know who my most important person is by now?”

“Shizuru …” Acting purely on her instincts, Natsuki pulls the older girl into a tight embrace. “I don’t know why I feel this way whenever I see those girls around you. I have no right to … And above all, I hate myself for not being able to figure out my feelings, and you …”

“Shuush … Natsuki can take all the time she needs.” When you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you … for as long as I can. This is a promise.

---

Since Shizuru’s econometrics professor is calling in sick today, she is actually free to leave the campus in the afternoon. At first the ex-Fuka High Kaichou wants to pay her old school a surprise visit, but her unofficial knight in shining armor talks her out of it by stating that dodging fangirls once a day is enough. With an understanding nod, the older girl decides that she is going to home and do laundry as an alternative option. So instead of riding the motorcycle straight back to Fuka High School right after lunch, Natsuki drops her roommate off at their home before going back to school.

In front of their door’s name tag which now reads “Kuga Natsuki” and “Fujino Shizuru” side by side, Shizuru cannot help but wonder if there will be a day when their first names are listed next to one single last name. Well, a girl can dream, right?

A sudden phone ring coming from behind the door breaks Shizuru out of her reverie. Unlocking the door in a hurry, she jogs over to the phone stand with her shoes still on. “Hello, Fujino speaking.”

“Oh, you’re home. I was not expecting this. How are you, Shizuru?”

Oh my god. “Father? What a surprise. I am well.” If there is any trembling in her heart, her voice is certainly not betraying how she truly feels.

“I intended to leave a message to ask you to call me back. But since you are here, I will cut straight to the point. You are not seeing anyone, right?”

Shizuru clears her throat at the straightforwardness of the question. “That is correct, father.” How I wish I can say otherwise …Natsuki …

“Great. I have a fine young man in mind for you …”

How cliché can this get? “Please allow me to say this with the utmost respect, but I would prefer to be the one in charge of my private life.” Men … *Scoff*

“Then do this as a favor for me. A promising subordinate of a close work associate of mine is quite fond of you. I have already promised my old friend that I would grant his subordinate a date with my lovely daughter. Shizuru, surely you will not suggest that I shall go back on my words?”

Such a rhetorical question. “Of course not. But …”

“Then I don’t think there is anything more for us to discuss. You will meet one Eto Jun-kun this weekend. I have already taken the liberty of giving him your cell phone number. Do expect his call in the next few days.”

This is so frustrating! I’m totally being set up! “Have a good day, father.” Shizuru hangs up the phone with the click of a button. In an unladylike manner, she throws herself down on the sofa with a defeated sigh. Just when I thought it was going to be a smooth sailing for my relationship with Natsuki, someone just has to show up from nowhere to mess things up. Eto Jun … How dare you use my father to get close to me. Whoever you are, you better watch out.

TBC.

----Omake begins----

On her way back to Fuka High School, Natsuki is speeding on the Fuka Expressway as usual.

Suddenly, wailing sirens appear behind the dark blue motorcycle.

Cop A: Now what you did that for, rookie?

Cop B: Uhm, it’s my job? That motorcycle is clearly speeding. Aren’t we going to pull it over?

Cop A: Didn’t someone tell you to read the Fuka traffic manual before you started your first shift?

Cop B: And didn’t someone tell you that I graduated top of my class at the State Traffic School and that I know all the traffic laws by heart?

Cop A: Well, smart ass, you just broke the Fuka traffic unit’s first cardinal rule.

Cop B: Huh? It’s a crime to use the siren to pull people over now?

Cop A: Yes, it’s a crime if the people have the Fujino family seal of immunity on their vehicles’ license plates. For each ticket we give out, the Fujino Corporation takes away 10% of their annual donation to the Fuka Traffic Department. Thanks to your stupid siren, now we gotta pull that motorcycle over. Oh you’re gonna be so popular in our unit, jack ass.

Cop B: Oh god, what have I done? Wait, I know! We don’t have to stop the motorcycle. Let’s just pull over some other speeding vehicle that is not blessed by the Fujino’s. Look, there’s a red sports car behind us. Let’s pull that car over instead!

Cop A: Good work, son! No wonder you were top of your class.

As Natsuki speeds away on her bike, the highway patrol car pulls over a red sports car.

Cop A: Sir, please show me your license.

Driver: Good afternoon, officers. May I ask why I was pulled over?

Cop B: Well … *Looks down at the license* … Mr. Eto Jun, we believe you were speeding.

Eto Jun: The accusation is ludicrous. I stare down at my car’s speed meter every five minutes. Are you guys on drugs?

Cop A: Alright, that’s it. Misdemeanor towards police officers is enough to earn you a ticket, young man.

Eto Jun: What? That’s not fair!

Cop B: Well, life is not fair. Blame your karma.

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 03:49:14 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part II)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1285

Summary: Natsuki finds Shizuru with the fangirls.

Just trying to follow the trend of fangirl bashing here, LOL. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. At the same time, I feel kinda bad that I got so sucked into a certain scene which causes me to not move fast enough with my plot line. *Sigh* If you guys want to make me feel better, just laugh at some point of the story. =)
___________________________________________________________________

In order to save time, Natsuki decides to skip changing into the biker uniform and just rides to the destination in her high school uniform. It is not a surprise that her arrival at the gate of Fuka University creates quite a commotion. Male and female students alike swoon and faint at their spots as Natsuki jumps off her motorcycle in one fluid movement then tosses her hair back casually with one hand. Ignoring all the admiring glances being thrown her way, the girl with sharp emerald eyes marches into the campus with only one person in mind – the Kyoto-born newly elected FU student council president.

After walking along the main university road for three minutes, a thought suddenly strikes Natsuki like a lightning bolt out of the clear blue sky. Shit, I have no idea where Shizuru is. Natsuki, why did you never bother to figure out her class schedule? Think hard. If you were Shizuru, where would you go after class? Hm … The more Natsuki tries to put herself in Shizuru’s shoes, the more she realizes how little she knows about her best friend. I vowed to get to know her better and what have I been doing for the past week? How does Shizuru put up with me?

“Hello, Kuga-san. What a surprise to see you here. Are you lost?”

Natsuki turns around and finds a familiar beaming face. “Hey Reito, do you know where Shizuru is?” No formal pleasantries, no informal hellos. But that’s how Kuga Natsuki treats people that she can care less about. At the moment, only a certain chestnut haired beauty matters.

Reito merely smiles at her directness. After all, it’s the people who do not speak their minds around whom he needs to be cautious. “Sadly I don’t have the answer to your question. But I do have ways to find out. My advice is … follow the fangirls.” He nods towards a group of girls running towards a far off crowded fountain with excited grins plastered on their faces.

“… Shizuru-sama is giving out midterm tips …” “… she is sooo beauti …” “ … if only I can be …” “… I wish I am her …”

Bits and pieces of their conversations flow into the ears of Reito and Natsuki as a small fraction of Shizuru’s fan club jogs past them. As a layer of dark mist overshadows the blue haired girl’s twisted facial features, Reito only shakes his head, partially for the childish behavior of those girls, but most of all for the stubbornness of the girl in front of him. It is so obvious. Can’t she see? Shizuru-san certainly has my sympathy.

“Time for me to follow the white rabbit, or should I say howling hyenas? See ya, Reito.” Not even recognizing the hint of jealousy in her tone, Natsuki begins to head for the fountain in quick steps. Geez, finding Shizuru was easy. Why can’t fangirls be one of those things that go away after graduation? *Sigh* Some things just never change.

Somehow the crowd seems to triple in size as Natsuki gets close enough that the tip of Shizuru’s head is now visible from the edge of dense cluster. Amid the high-pitched screams, the Kyoto woman’s melodious voice flows out like a cool stream under the heated sun and brings a smile to her face. But as she tries to make her way towards the girl who has been occupying her mind all morning, an even greater force seems determined to shove her back. Tired of continuing this push and pull muscle game, Natsuki decides to stand still and attempt to outscream everyone around her.

“OI, SHIZU … OW!” Before the lone girl in a high school uniform can finish her sentence, an unexpected elbow knocks the wind out of her lungs and disrupts her balance. Normally with Natsuki’s excellent athletic ability, a little push like that will not even make her flinch. However a conveniently located rock under her right foot surprises her and causes her to fall on her back.

A harsh whisper resonates above Natsuki. “Go back to Fuka High School, come back in line when you’ve graduated and learnt some manners.” By the time she looks up to see who the hell was bitching at her, nobody seems to be paying attention to her anymore. This is insane! Shizuru has to deal with these banshees everyday?

While Natsuki is lifting herself off the ground, the mass of people part like the red sea from biblical times and a slender figure emerges. Just as she pats her bottom to get rid of the dust, Shizuru pulls the younger girl into a fierce hug, which elicits audible gasps from the crowd.

I knew I heard your voice. Nobody says my name the way you do. “Are you ok, Natsuki?” The Kyoto woman in a sleeveless summer dress whispers into the long blue slightly tousled hair which smells of her favorite green tea shampoo. These girls have gone too far this time …

Wow, it’s a miracle that she heard me. “I’m alright. Everyone is staring at us, Shizuru. You can let go now.” Feeling uncomfortable under the dagger-liked glares coming from all directions, a blushing Natsuki squirms lightly against the warm embrace.

Shizuru tightens her arms. “Let them stare.” Now I’m angry. Nobody messes with MY Natsuki in my presence. In slow motion, she twists her head around and takes off her mask in front of her fan club for the first time. Everyone is shocked to sense the killing intent behind that elegant smile that they habitually love and adore.

Now that Shizuru is doing exactly what I have always wanted her to do, why do I suddenly feel bad for the girls? “Hey, are you sure you want to alienate your fangirls like that?”

Returning her attention to the girl in her arms, Shizuru replies with a smirk. “Give them a day or two. They’ll recover just fine.”

Natsuki leans closer to the other girl’s ear and speaks in a conspiracy tone. “Oh right, fangirls never die.”

A lighthearted chuckle later, Shizuru lets go of Natsuki and turns to the petrified girls, this time with her usual graceful smile. “It breaks my heart to cut our time together short today, but unfortunately I have some prearranged obligations to attend to.” Given the current state of the crowd, a stray dog catcher might mistake the girls as lost puppies and ship them to the city pound.

I gotta breathe some life into those bodies. “Ara, if it isn’t Reito-san by the academic building.” With their new target in mind, sparks rekindle in the eyes of fangirls. Everyone says their goodbyes to their beloved kaichou and rushes off towards a building not too far away.

“Poor Reito.” Not an ounce of sympathy in Natsuki’s voice.

“Don’t worry about him. As my second in command, this is part of his job description anyways.” An equally apathetic tone.

“Ha ha ha …” The two girls share a sweet moment of laughter, smiling and basking in each other’s presence.

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Fangirls: ... ... ... ... ... ... Reito-senpai!!!

{ } { } incoming dust clouds { } { }

Reito's spider-sense ... *cough* I mean, fangirl alarm system goes off with a blaring siren.

Fangirls: ... ... ... Reito-senpai!!!

Reito: If Shizuru-san could do it, I can do it, too. Greetings, oh gentle and beautiful ladies. Ara, if it isn't ...

Reito's inconvenient truth –

Body Location: Currently surrounded by a sea of unattractive individuals.

Reito: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fangirls: Reito-senpai!!! Catch us!!!

Reito's body flattens with a bone-crunching thud underneath the deadly combined weight of health-conscious fangirls.

----Omake ends----

Shiznat On A Double Date!

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 02:37:48 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary II - Double Date In Hell (Part I)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1345

Summary: Shizuru and Natsuki are now roommates, but they seem to be stuck at that "better than friends but not yet lovers" stage. Will there be any breakthroughs in their relationship in the near future? (Oh my god, that sounds so cheesy. I'm not very good with summaries. So just bare with me.) In this chapter, Natsuki, Mai, and Mikoto are having lunch in Fuka High school. (If you want to read something interesting, just skip the summary.)

I'm actually going to attempt to write something with a plot this time. Hopefully I won't fail too horribly. Same old style - fluff + comedy = ficeler37's fic. I'll try to do some more omakes this time around. Happy belated New Year!
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A week has passed since Natsuki and Shizuru moved in together. Many things happened during the short amount of time. Mostly good things from Shizuru’s point of view, but also some unforgettable moments that both girls would prefer never to live through again. To the curious ones out there, let’s just say that Natsuki is forever banned from her own kitchen. But no matter what bizarre events are thrown at the two girls, in the end they always manage to move on with a smile. Who cares if half the kitchen is coal black? Who cares if they were sent to the hospital for two days battling food poisoning? As long as they are together, they can face anything. But will their happy days as roommates last forever?

At the sound of the lunch bell in Fuka High School, Kuga Natsuki takes out her bento from her backpack and steps out of her classroom, heading towards her usual meeting place with Mai and Mikoto. As soon as the sound of her footsteps disappears from the hallway, quiet murmurings begin to surface in the student-filled room.

“Hey, have you noticed that Kuga-san has been preparing her own lunch for the past week?” “Yea, I know. That’s so weird. Anyone who shares home economics class with her knows that she can’t cook.” “Well, maybe she took some cooking lessons over the weekend.” “Oh my god, maybe she moved in with someone who cooks!” *Short pause* “C’mon, that’s not possible. Kuga-san is our ice princess.” “Haha, you’re right. Who can tame someone like her?”

“Achoo.” Natsuki sneezes suddenly as she leans on a cherry blossom tree, waiting for her orange-haired busty friend and her feline counterpart. “Someone better not be talking about me behind my back…”

Moments later, two running figures come into the blue haired girl’s view. “Sorry, Natsuki. Have you been waiting for long?” Mai brings up her hand in an apologetic manner and pulls on Mikoto’s skirt to make the jumpy middle schooler sit down with her.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you hurry up and go feed your pet? Don’t mean to be rude, but she’s burning a hole through my bento box with her eyes.” With furrowed brows, Natsuki turns her body in order to shield her bento box from the feral gaze.

“Natsuki’s lunch smells so good. Can I have some?” Closing her eyes to enhance her sense of smell, Mikoto begins to sway towards where Natsuki is sitting.

“No, go bug your owner and step back. You’re going to put drool all over my bento.” Modifying the traditional Japanese custom to chase away demons with beans, Natsuki picks up some grass and throws them at the approaching body with an annoyed look.

“Natsuki, you don’t seem excited at all to see me. Now that you have Kaichou to make you love bentos everyday, you don’t need me anymore…” Mai hides her face behind her hands as her shoulder trembles intermittently. Any passerby from afar will think that Mai is going through an emotional breakup.

“You’re faking it. I can tell. I live with the mistress of deceit, remember?” Rolling her eyes with a sigh, Natsuki carefully unknots the handkerchief around the bento.

Mai brings down her hands and pouts. “I’m going to tell Kaichou you called her that.” Now that Kaichou is back in Natsuki’s life, payback is just too easy.

“Mai, Natsuki threw grass at me, tell Kaichou about that too!” Mikoto buries her face in Mai’s soft bosoms and complains like a spoiled child. “Can I have my lunch now?”

“Why … you two …” Numerous crosses appear on Natsuki’s forehead. If Shizuru hears any strange rumors about today, I swear I’m going to make your life hell, Tokiha Mai.

An unexpected shout halts Natsuki’s attempt to throw more grass at the duo. “Oh no! Where are my lunch boxes?” A few more seconds of frantic digging in her backpack later, Mai looks down worriedly at the petite girl in her lap. “Mikoto, how do you feel about getting some delicious curry buns at the school cafeteria?”

“EHHHH???” The black haired girl instantly narrows her eyes at the tempting bento just a few feet away. “Mikoto wants food NOW.”

A looming black shadow is all she sees as Natsuki picks up her head after shuffling some mayonnaise shumais in her mouth. When she looks down at her lap again, she finds that the neatly prepared lunch box is now being held by two pairs of hands. “Hey, what are you doing? Let go! Shizuru made this for me, not for you.”

“Natsuki can eat curry buns from the school cafeteria. Mikoto is hungry now.” Two black braids swing freely in the air as their possessor shakes her head passionately while grabbing onto the little box of food with newfound strength.

“Mikoto, you get your butt over here right … Oh my goodness …” Everything seems to be happening in slow motion according to Mai. Tiny shumais and dumplings perform an aerial dance with speckles of rice raining in the background. As soon as everything hits the ground, cries of disappointment shoot out from two different directions.

Within seconds, Mikoto’s natural instinct drives her to scramble behind Mai’s back. Actually anyone with a normal vision can see steam coming out of the top of Natsuki’s head.

“Natsuki, listen. We can talk about this.” Move, damn feet, move!

“You can talk to what is left of Shizuru’s cooking in the mud. I’ll only say this once. Give her to me.” With each step she takes, Natsuki’s face contorts to a more menacing degree. How dare you ruin Shizuru’s hardwork!

Soft whimpers on her back remind Mai that she needs to come up with a distraction quickly. “Hey, this is a great opportunity for you to go take Kaichou out for a surprise lunch.”

The idea enters Natsuki’s mind for the first time and stops her in her track. “Alright, why should I do that today? I’m picking her up after school anyways. I can wait for a few more hours before meeting up with her.”

“Natsuki, I have one word for you.” How thick can this girl’s skull be? I feel bad for Kaichou sometimes …

“And that is …” Natsuki raises an eyebrow.

“Romance.” Mai replies with a cheeky grin.

“Ro … ro … what?” If a thermometer is put in Natsuki’s mouth, the mercury inside will probably burst through the top immediately. “Why do I need to be romantic towards Shizuru? She and I are just … We are not …” Damnit, what are we?

Fine, I’ll give you a break. “By the time you figure out where you stand with Kaichou, her lunch break is going to be over. Natsuki, stop over analyzing everything. Just go!” To emphasize her point, Mai turns Natsuki’s body around roughly and gives her back a solid push. Nicely done. Disaster dodged.

Still not really sure how she ends up dashing towards the forest for her motorcycle, Natsuki nevertheless smiles at the prospect of seeing her lovely roommate in a few minutes. Can’t wait to see the look on her face when she sees me. I mean, she won’t turn me away …right?

TBC.

----Omake begins----

Mai: C’mon, Mikoto. The big bad is gone now. Let’s head over to the … What are you doing?

A crouching Mikoto looks up at Mai with a mouthful of muddy dumplings.

Mikoto: Huh? Wha diju say?

Mai: Spit everything out! You’re gonna get sick!

Mikoto: *Swallows hard* What about the Five Seconds Rule?

Mai: I don’t think that applies when the food falls on a muddy surface.

Mikoto: *Pout* If only Miroku is still around …

Mai: What does Miroku have to do with this?

Mikoto: In the past, if I saw that food was about to fall on the ground, I just called out Miroku to catch everything so that the food would remain mud-free.

Mai: Don’t tell me that’s how you came up with the underground spikes attack …

----Omake ends----

What do drunk himes talk about?

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 03:26:33 GMT

Title: Himes on Crack (Part III)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: R (for language)
Word count: 1578

Summary: What do drunk himes talk about? The Student Council.

Since Shizuru's official birthday is coming up (12/19), I thought I'd revive the himes on crack series for this special day. On a side note, the continuation of my Shiznat saga - Roommates Diary II - Double Date in Hell will not start for another couple of weeks. Just thought you'd like to know. Without further ado, here goes my latest story!
______________________________________________________________

Mai, Mikoto, Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Midori are hanging out in a karaoke room on a Sunday night. Everyone is drunk, and weird shit happens.

Midori: Let’s make a toast! *bangs the microphone against her beer mug*

Everyone winces at the noise, but raises their drinks in the air nevertheless.

Midori: To Natsuki, for being elected student council Vice President!

Everyone: Cheers!

Insert slurping sounds.

Mai: Hm … I understand why Natsuki is in her black uniform, but Kaichou, why are you wearing your old white uniform as well?

Shizuru: Natsuki and I were running a little late before we got out of the apartment, so I didn’t have time to change.

Midori: Let’s rephrase the question. Fujino, why were you in uniform at home? *evil cackle* I sense something gossip worthy coming up.

Shizuru: *hand on cheek* Let’s just say that Natsuki likes it when I wear my uniform at certain times of the day. *blush*

Natsuki: Shizuru, stop making these misleading comments! Guys, it’s nothing like what you are thinking about … *waves hands frantically*

Nao: Oh, and what exactly should we be thinking about? A little student council President uniform fetish for our resident pussy-whipped love puppy perhaps?

Shizuru: In a way, I suppose.

Natsuki: Shizuru, not helping! Goddamnit, Nao! Who are you calling a pu ... pus … AHHHH! *blushes madly* Just go to hell!

Nao: Is someone turning bright red because the word PUSSY reminded her of some steamy moments from the previous night?

Mikoto: Mai, what does pussy mean? Why would it be steamy? *drools* Is it like the steamed dumplings you made last night? I want to eat pussy too!

Mai: *big cross on forehead* What is wrong with you people? Everything you’ve said recently in our karaoke meetings has led Mikoto into wanting to eat … *blush* … you know what!

Mikoto: *looks at Mai with watery eyes* So no pussy? *pout*

Mai is using all her strength to keep from fainting at the spot.

Midori: *shrugs* C’mon, Mai. It’s not like we were misleading Mikoto on purpose. In fact, you should be thanking us for giving you an opportunity to jumpstart your sex life.

Mai: Jesus, can we please talk about something else that has nothing to do with my lack of a sex life? *cough* SO, NATSUKI! How does it feel being the Vice President?

Natsuki: Not bad.

Natsuki blinks as everyone looks at her expectantly, waiting to hear more.

Awkward silence.

Nao: God, it’s a miracle this stupid dog got elected. The infamous Fuka High School delinquent running for student council Vice President? What were people thinking when they voted for you?

Mai: Well, since you ditched the election ceremony, you probably wouldn’t know this. But I suspect that Natsuki’s victory had a lot to do with the ceremony’s guest speaker …

Nao: And who would that be? Her sugar mommy?

Shizuru: Ara, Tokiha-san is too kind. I can’t imagine how my short speech could be so influential.

Nao: Damn, what was in the Kyoto bitch’s speech that would make her pet win?

Mai is determined to keep her mouth shut in order to avoid the wrath of the chestnut haired beauty.

Mikoto: *raises her hand* Mai said Natsuki won because Kaichou promised her fangirls that she would visit the campus more often if Natsuki was elected. Oh yea, and Mai said she couldn’t believe how Kaichou made that promise 5 times in her 5 minute speech.

Mikoto flashes a big grin at Mai, expecting a nice head pat of approval for answering the question correctly.

Mai gives Mikoto’s cheek a nice hard squeeze before smiling weakly at Shizuru.

Shizuru: Is that what you thought, Tokiha-san? *angelic smile*

Everyone senses the sudden drop in temperature in the karaoke room.

Midori: *cough* Moving on. Natsuki, what made you want to be in the student council? Trying to follow your girlfriend’s footsteps? *raised eyebrow*

Natsuki: Of course not! Shizuru said if the Fuka University student council had to collaborate an event with the Fuka High School student council, she would rather work with me than anyone else. That’s why I ran for the seat.

Nao: *scoffs* Same difference. Awww, that’s true love right there. How cute. *fake puke*

Mai: Why settle for the Vice-President seat and not go for President, Natsuki? You’d probably win either way.

Natsuki: Shizuru said it’d be more suitable for me to be Vice President because the work load is less and I’ll have more time to spend with her outside of school.

Shizuru: Privileges wise, the two positions are the same, except for the President’s unique access to the school intranet. After the hime festival, Natsuki doesn’t need the access anymore.

Everyone smiles as they once again realize how lucky they are to have a second chance at life after the hime festival.

Shizuru: Plus Natsuki looks so hot in the black uniform. I couldn’t resist … *blush*

Natsuki: EH?!?!

Nao: *sweat drop* Please don’t tell me that was your main motivation …

Shizuru: *smirk* Who knows? *throws her arms around the still shaken Natsuki*

Midori: I have a question for you, Fujino. Last time we played truth or dare, you were saying you only became President to give Natsuki access to the school’s intranet. Now that the hime festival is over, what’s motivating you to be the Fuka University student council President?

Shizuru: Well, in the university, the President gets their own office that is separated from the council’s meeting room. I like having my own personal space on campus.

Nao: Fuck, in other words, you ran for student council President so that you can make out with your bitch any time you want, even during school hours?

Natsuki: Shut up! Shizuru wouldn’t take on the responsibility for that stupid reason! Right? *goes for Shizuru’s hand*

Shizuru puts on her usual smiling face, neither denying nor agreeing with the accusation.

Mai: *whispers to self* It’s not like they didn’t already get it on in the student council room in Fuka High School.

Nao: *turns to Natsuki* Can you swear on mayonnaise that you two had never made out in the President’s office?

Natsuki: Ah …

Dying of embarrassment, Natsuki is mentally burying herself in a hole.

Shizuru: October 31^st 2004. What a beautiful day …

Nao: ARGH! I HATE YOU! *crosses her arms in annoyance*

Just then, a karaoke place worker walks in to deliver the bill for the night.

Shizuru: Natsuki, do you have the student council activity forms I asked you to bring?

Natsuki: Yea, they’re right here. *hands the forms to Shizuru* What are we doing with them?

Shizuru: For future reference, this is what you do at our future hime gatherings. Attach the customer’s copy of the bill to an activity form and put “World Peace Fund” next to “budget source”. Then sign your name twice. Once next to “authorizer” and once next to “source signature (if required)”.

Natsuki: What the hell is the “World Peace Fund”? *sweat drop*

Shizuru: Just a little something I wrote into the school’s constitution before I graduated. I figured it would be nice to have some financial compensation for the himes for their hard work during the festival. We did save the world after all.

Midori: Defenders of justice never ask for money!

Shizuru: Ara, any defender of justice is welcome to pay for their own beers from now on. *imaginary arrow one hits Midori on the chest* If I had known that I didn’t need to take somebody’s reckless drinking behavior into account, I would have cut the budget by half. *imaginary arrow two hits Midori on the head*

Mai: I’m surprised that Fumi would just let you change the constitution like that. What did you say to her?

Shizuru: Just a date.

Everyone gasps at the implication.

Shizuru: I’m just kidding. *giggles* C’mon, it’s not like it’s the first time the school is setting money aside for the himes. Everyone here is a beneficiary of the special scholarship, I believe.

Midori coughs.

Shizuru: Excuse me, Midori-sensei. But aren’t you glad that you’re included this time?

Midori: Well … yes. *scratches her burning cheek*

Mikoto: Mai, how come Kaichou is wearing her old uniform tonight?

Midori: THANK YOU! *grins from ear to ear* We can’t let you two lovebirds go home before spilling the beans on your uniform fetish.

Nao: *disgusted look* Should we be worried about coming into contact with your uniforms? God knows what you two do while you’re in them.

Natsuki: You guys have it all wrong! I just ask Shizuru to change into her uniform whenever she tutors me. It’s an old habit. Her uniform helps me concentrate.

Shizuru: I really don’t mind cosplaying as my high school self every now and then. What Natsuki said is true. We are as innocent as white rabbits.

Nao: Somehow I find it hard to believe …

Natsuki: Well, whatever you want to believe, it’s none of my business. It’s getting late. If you’d excuse us, I have some mayonnaise ice-cream in the fridge waiting for me. *pulls Shizuru up from her seat*

Nao: I can’t believe Fujino is letting you eat that crap. How can you put that in your stomach, you pussy-whipped dog?

Due to a timely yawn, Mikoto selectively screens out Nao’s words and picks up “eat”, “stomach”, and “pussy”.

Mikoto: *whines* Mai, how come Natsuki gets to eat pussy and I don’t?

Mai wants to cry.

THE END.

What do drunk shinigamis talk about?

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 04:18:28 GMT

Title: Female Shinigamis on Crack (Part III)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Bleach. If I do, Soi Fon and Yoruichi will get more screen time.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1703

Summary: What do drunk female shinigamis talk about when they become hostesses for one crazy night?

I've had this idea since I wrote Ch. 2 a while back, but didn't get around to writing it until now. I feel bad that Yoruichi won't be making an appearance in this chapter. Well, I promise that she'll show up in the next part. After watching Soi Fon in the Bounto arc, I couldn't help but write about the newly uncovered ability of Suzumebachi, hehe. Hope everyone will get a good laugh out of this!
_____________________________________________________________

Shortly after Female Shinigami Organization’s (FSO) annual recreational trip to the human world comes Seireitei’s community service week. Last year, following the suggestion of Yachiru, organizer of that year, all FSO members were asked to sweep the streets of Rukongai for a day and watch out for little bells on the side of the street. It was later rumored that Kenpachi taichou couldn’t stop scratching his head for almost a month following the street sweeping event. Coincidence much?

Even though this year’s organizer Isane puked her guts out at the Ginza Host Club, thanks to the 4^th Division’s secret medicine (see Ch. 1), she managed to function like a perfectly sober person without hangovers the next morning. Having lost all unpleasant memories of her beloved taichou’s flirtatious behavior due to her drunkenness, Isane’s obsession with the Host Club carried through to the next FSO meeting. With the support of over half of the FSO members, it was decided that this year’s community service project would be a one-night only Hostess Club open to all shinigamis in Seireitei. But due to the unexpected insistence of Soi Fon taichou, friends of shinigamis are also allowed to attend the event in the end.

Some FSO members had legitimate work excuses which prevented them from participating in this event. As a result, only five female shinigamis were free to serve as hostesses on that night. In order to satisfy the different tastes of the Hostess Club visitors, each FSO hostess was assigned a different set of attire. The final dress code was listed as follows:

Soi Fon – traditional Japanese kimono-clad lady (wooden fan included)

Rangiku – lingerie model (boa included)

Yachiru – gothic lolita (parasol included)

Nanao – policewoman (handcuffs included)

Isane – high school uniform-clad student (backpack included)

Now, let us fastforward to the First Annual Hostess Club Night held at the FSO headquarter!

The first group of visitors arrives at the club. They are 2^nd Division lieutenant Ohmaeda, 8^th Division taichou Shunsui and 11^th Division taichou Kenpachi.

Ohmaeda: Soi Fon taichou is supposed to be a hostess tonight, right? I’d like her to be my hostess then. *chews on biscuits greedily* (whispers to self) All those days of barking orders at me … tonight is my chance to show everyone who is the real man in the 2^nd division.

Shunsui: Where is my adorable Nanao-chan? *looks around and spots his lieutenant in a police uniform* Sweet jesus, oh mama, I’ve been bad …

Kenpachi: Oi, Yachiru! I got your scribble, now show yourself. You know I don’t like to play hide and seek.

On a side note, here is the above mentioned scribble:

Ken-chan. Meet me at the Hostess Club tonight at 7 pm. Got stuff to kill. Love, Yachiru.

All five hostesses walk out to greet the visitors.

The hostesses: Welcome. Would you like to specify a hostess tonight?

Ohmaeda: *picks his nose* I guess I’ll take taichou. Gotta show some support for the 2^nd Division. *fake smile* Tonight you’ll be taking orders from me, your bitch.

Soi Fon: Fine, follow me. *icy glare*

Ohmaeda: *stands up straight immediately* Hai, taichou! Shit, old habits die hard. But after tonight, mwa ha ha ha …

---

Shunsui: Nanao looks so nice tonight. Is it a crime if I’d like to have a drink with you? *wink*

Nanao: Silence. Keep your hands where I can see them. *walks away briskly*

Shunsui: *wide eyed* Could this be the legendary role-playing? ME LIKEY!

---

Yachiru: Ken-chan! Do you like my outfit? *spins around*

Kenpachi: *ignores question* What are we killing tonight? Are you going to poke someone’s eyes out with that umbrella?

Yachiru: *climbs on Kenpachi’s back skillfully* Isane said it’s called a parasol! Ken-chan, go east!

Kenpachi turns to the right and smashes his zanpakutou against the wall, leaving behind a big hole. Kenpachi and Yachiru jump through the opening and disappear from sight.

Isane: *yells out the hole* Yachiru! Where are you going? You’re supposed to be hosting!

Rangiku: Oh yea, Soi Fon said not to worry if Yachiru runs off suddenly. She’s on a mission apparently. *shrugs shoulders*

Isane: *sigh* Why did I spend so much time dressing her up then if she’s just going on a killing spree with Kenpachi taichou?

Table 1 – Soi Fon Vs Ohmaeda

Soi Fon: Sit down. *folds kimono sleeves elegantly before sitting down*

Ohmaeda: Hai … Shit, I’m doing it again. *cough* Why don’t you pour …

A cup of sake was poured at the speed of light while Ohmaeda was still talking.

Soi Fon: Drink. *slides the cup across the table*

Ohmaeda: What hostess has this kind of manner? Uhm, thank you. Hostesses are supposed to entertain their guests, right? Sing something. *takes a big gulp of sake*

Soi Fon: *smiles sweetly* Sure. *flips open her wooden fan* Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi.

Enters eerie music. Soi Fon places the fan strategically in front of her signature weapon that is now materializing on her hand.

Ohmaeda: Am I hearing this correctly? Taichou is really going to sing? Oh, hell ya! I’m so going to brag about this to the guys in our division tomorrow. *takes another gulp*

Soi Fon: Let me refill your drink for you. *yet another sweet smile*

Using her kimono sleeves as a shield, Soi Fon pours more sake into the cup and dips the tip of her hornet sting into the drink in the most discreet manner.

Soi Fon: Before I perform, why don’t we have a toast first? *pours herself a drink and raises the cup* May glory befall the 2^nd Division and Kaigun.

Ohmaeda: *raises his cup at equal height* Yea, glory to us!

Soi Fon and Ohmaeda both finish their sake in one go.

Three seconds later, a loud growl comes out of Ohmaeda’s stomach.

Soi Fon: Something wrong, Ohmaeda?

Ohmaeda: Bathroom! Where? *gasps*

Sweat drops are rushing out of Ohmaeda’s temples as he desperately tries to hold everything in.

Soi Fon: You’re at the FSO headquarter. Do you really think that there will be a men’s bathroom here? *condescending smirk*

Ohmaeda: YOU BITCH! *Uncontrollable eyebrow twitches* Excuse me, taichou.

Ohmaeda runs out of the hostess club with his hands covering his burning anus. Soi Fon pours herself another cup of sake calmly.

Soi Fon: Intriguing … Who knew laxatives could bring out his hidden shunpo talent?

Soi Fon O Ohmaeda X

Table 2 – Nanao Vs Shunsui

Shunsui: *wraps his arm around Nanao’s shoulders* Nanao-chan looks so cute tonight. Sit down and have a drink with me!

Nanao: Stay focus. Play along. Remember, you have a mission tonight. Being in the law enforcement prohibits me from drinking while on duty. How about I pour you some wine? *brings out an ice bucket from behind the sofa*

Shunsui: Oooh, Chardonnay. Classy. I don’t mind cutting down on the sake for one night. Wow, Nanao-chan didn’t slap my arm away as usual. Score! I bet her strong sense of responsibility and work ethics really transformed her into a true hostess tonight.

Nanao: Moment of truth. From what I remember, the girls in Ginza Host Club would bend down like this …

As Nanao leans over the table to take out the bottle of wine, the beauty with glasses is paying extra attention to her butt placement, intending to maximize the seduction effect.

Shunsui: *eyes light up* No man can resist this … *drools*

Before Shunsui’s hand can reach its desired destination, Nanao springs out her handcuffs and ties Shunsui’s wandering hand to the corner of the table, which is conveniently glued to the floor.

Shunsui: What the … *sweat drop*

Nanao: Mission accomplished. You are under arrest for attempting to sexually harass a police officer. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

While Shunsui is still mentally scratching his head, Nanao grabs his head and shoves it into the freezing ice bucket.

Shunsui chokes and generates unpleasant incomprehensible swear words.

Nanao lifts Shunsui’s head from the ice bucket roughly.

Nanao: *creepily calm voice* Now answer me. Where were you two nights ago when we were supposed to have a divisional meeting?

Shunsui: *struggles to control his coughs* Nanao-chan, I know you’re into your cosplay and all. But can you break out of character for now? I’m having trouble bre…

Nanao shoves Shunsui’s head into the ice bucket once again to cut him off.

Nanao: Please answer my question. If the criminals on police TV drama series can withstand a little police interrogation, I’m sure taichou will live.

Shunsui: *coughs like a madman* Okay, okay! I went drinking with some shinigamis new recruits from the 4^th Division.

Nanao: Oh, I see. So it’s more important to go out drinking with cute girls than discussing the disciplinary issues in our division. *crosses appear on forehead*

From underneath the sofa, Nanao retrieves a sledge hammer and an extra thin notebook. She smiles sweetly at the trapped Shunsui after taking a couple practice swings in the air.

Shunsui: *horrific stare* Are you trying to murder me on the spot?

Nanao reaches down to her feet again, but this time, she takes out a monstrous pile of official documents with the words 7^th Division printed neatly on top in big bold letters.

Nanao: I tell you what. *puts a pen down on the table* For each document you sign, I’m going to put it in the thin notebook. In other words, the more work you do, the less pain you’ll feel afterwards when you get hit by the hammer …

Shunsui: *teary eyes* Is there a third option that doesn’t involve the hammer?

Nanao: *eyes closed in deep thought* The suspects on TV last night seemed to respond well to stun guns …

Shunsui: AHHH! I’ll start signing the papers right away!

Positioning himself awkwardly on the floor, Shunsui buries himself in the never-ending amount of papers, knowing that as soon as his hand stops moving, the sledge hammer will be coming for him.

Nanao fixates her gaze on her infamous runaway taichou, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of her nose every five seconds.

Nanao O Shunsui X

The night is still young …

TBC.

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Next up – Table 3 – Rangiku Vs Orihime

Table 4 – Isane Vs Unohana

Table 1 – Soi Fon Vs Shuuhei

Table 1 – Soi Fon Vs Yoruichi

Shiznat As Roommates!

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 03:15:41 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part VIII)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1384

Summary: Good luck explaining yourself, Natsuki.

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As soon as Natsuki bolted up in bed and started screaming, Shizuru had covered up her ears on reflex while trying her hardest to conceal her amusement. Ara, Natsuki is so full of energy in the morning. If she was an anime character, her hair would have been standing straight up by now, hehe. Lifting herself up partially by balancing on her elbows, Shizuru cocks her head a little with a lazy smile. “Good morning, Natsuki. Did you sleep well last night?”

“You … I … Why are we in my bed together?” Despite the chaos in her mind, Natsuki finally managed to string out a coherent question with great difficulty. Wipe that smile off your face, Shizuru. The way you are looking at me right now is not helping. Somehow the furrowed brows only seem to have a contradictory effect on the ever widening smile on the older girl’s face.

“That’s funny. I could have asked you the same question. More importantly, Natsuki, will you take responsibility for what happened last night?” Fully sitting up at this point, Shizuru stares on with watery eyes, daring the other girl to coldheartedly say no. Oops, forgot to loosen my bathrobe a little to show some skin. That would have gone well with my unfortunate ravished girl look, hehe.

Natsuki buries her hands in her blue disheveled tresses and shakes her head from left to right. “What the hell happened? I just remember falling asleep on the sofa and going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I don’t know how I got here.” Shit, don’t tell me I sleepwalked to my bed after going to the bathroom. I hope I didn’t do anything inappropriate to Shizuru …

“Listen to me very carefully.” The Kyoto woman takes a deep breath.

The air between the two girls becomes stagnant. Natsuki gazes intently at the solemn crimson eyes.

“I’m pregnant.”

“EH?!?!”

A few seconds later, fits of giggles from the older girl hammers the absurdity of the statement into Natsuki’s head. “Stop messing with me!” The heavily blushing girl picks up the body pillow from the floor and smacks Shizuru on the chest with it repeatedly. There she goes again! I can’t believe I was taking her seriously for a moment there. I’m such an idiot.

Shizuru brings up her hands to soften the blows. “Iya, stop it. Why does Natsuki keep attacking my breasts this morning? If I become flat-chested one day, you’ll be in charge of massaging them back to their original state.” Exhibiting a childish side of her that is never seen at school, Shizuru puffs up her cheeks and sticks out her lower lip in defiance.

So cute … NO! What am I thinking? “BAKA!” Natsuki drops the pillow down and crosses her arms instead with her head turned away from the other girl. Like I’m going to broaden the gap between our breasts sizes. Wait, AHHHH, that’s not the point. I’m not going to massage her breasts! Period!

“Oh my, you should have seen the look on your face when you thought I was expecting a baby.” Leaving no traces of her earlier pout, Shizuru is now busy wiping the tears off the corner of her eyes. “But still, would you like to see our secret love child?” *Evil smirk* Those sleepless nights of missing Natsuki when I ended up watching CSI have finally paid off.

“I’m not falling for it again.” Natsuki pouts. “Nothing probably happened last night anyways.” What’s the worst damage I could have done in my sleep? Kicked her a few times and gave her some bruises? In a nonchalant manner, green eyes try to sneak a quick peek at the exposed skin not covered up by the white bathrobe. Absolutely flawless. Wow, her skin looks so smooth. I bet she puts lotion on after taking a shower everyday. Ah! Don’t go there. Natsuki tries to mentally blink away the naughty image haunting her thoughts.

What's going on in that busy head now? Her face changes colors like those kiddy mood rings. Kawaii! “Well, then how do you explain this?” After rolling up the sleeve of her white bathrobe, Shizuru nods towards the red mark on her upper left arm. Lesson number one – Plant your evidence when no one is watching.

Natsuki bends down to examine the mark skeptically. Is that a bug bite? Wait, it looks more like a bruise. Shit, it can’t be … Stay calm, Natsuki. Act dumb! "Why are you showing me your pimple? Are you asking me to pop it?" Conjuring the hidden drama talent within her, Natsuki scoffs as if the older girl just made the dumbest request on the planet.

You can't throw me off that easily. Lesson number two - When the other person is in doubt, brainwash them with information in your favor. Leaning her cheek against her hand, Shizuru closes her eyes with a Cheshire grin to pretend savoring their stolen moments in bed just hours ago. “Don't tell me you forgot how you imprinted your signature on my arm with your lips. Natsuki was so passionate last night. Daisuki!” Just because I gave up the idea of giving you a hickie in your sleep, doesn't mean I can't give myself one and frame you for the act. Can't help it. This is too much fun!

"AHHH! I don't remember a thing about last night. Can we just pretend that nothing happened?" Natsuki clasps her hands together and takes an apologetic bow.

"You mean, all the sweet nothings that you murmured in your sleep were a bunch of lies? How could you?" A timely tear drop slides down porcelain skin.

"Uhm, what did I say?" Oh god, do I really want to know? With a pained look, the blue haired girl holds out her index finger to catch the falling droplet.

Putting on her most seductive voice, Shizuru leans forward to whisper in Natsuki’s ears. "You were telling me how I taste good and that you wanted more of me." Not a complete lie. At one point, I did believe those words.

“WHAT? *Cough* Hey! You know what I think tastes good? BENTO!” Jumping off the bed like it suddenly transformed into a hot plate, Natsuki turns her back on Shizuru in a swift movement, desperately trying to hide the heat on her face. “Since you claimed the kitchen last night, why don’t you go prepare some lunch bentos for us? Hurry up! I don’t want to be late for school!” She rushes to the bathroom like a blue lightning bolt.

Natsuki is scared of being late to school? Oh my goodness, it’s the end of the world! With a small smile, the Kyoto beauty can only shake her head as she gets up from the bed. *Sigh* So many ways to tease her, so little time.

Moments later, both girls are neatly dressed for school with backpacks in hands. As Natsuki heads towards the foyer, she is surprised by the pause in the footsteps trailing behind her.

“Shizuru?”

“Say ‘I’m leaving now’ and pretend that you are going to walk out that door.”

“Huh?”

“C’mon, humor me. Please?” Puppy eyes attack!

“Fine.” The younger girl rolls her eyes and complies. “I’m leaving now.” Two steps forward.

“Walk safely.” Shizuru hops forward and wraps her arms around the shorter girl’s shoulders from behind. Without warning, she kisses her on the cheek.

“What was that for?” A timid hand covers the spot that seems to emanate warmth uncontrollably.

“I’ve always wanted to play the newlyweds game.” The sparkles in the crimson eyes perform a jovial dance.

Natsuki mumbles as she stares into the horizon outside the door. “And I’m sure you’ll make the most beautiful bride…”

“Did you say something?”

“No, nothing.” After locking the door, Natsuki turns to the taller girl with a lopsided grin. “Are you ready?”

For you? Always. “Yes.”

“Let’s go then.” Natsuki swings her backpack over her shoulder and extends her open palm behind her back. Seconds later, a warm hand slides in seamlessly, taking the invitation.

As the two girls walk away together from their home for the first time, no words are exchanged. In truth, their comfortable silence is sufficiently filled with the smiles that they only reserve for one another.

THE END.
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It might come as a surprise for most readers how the series just ended suddenly. Honestly this was a surprise for me too. I don't know. It just seems like the right time. From today on, I am officially taking a break from writing. Those who have been thinking about starting their own Shiznat fanfic, well, what can I say, NOW IS THE TIME! Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has been following my Shiznat saga and giving me reviews. You guys are great! Till next time. *Wink*

Shiznat As Roommates!

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 18:04:20 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part VII)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1277

Summary: Who gets the sofa? Who gets the bed? Shiznat's bedtime activities.

Wow, what a super slow update. Being sick really knocked the writing spirit out of me. Plus there was the pressure of coming up with something that won't pale too much when compared to the last chapter. BLAH! Another thing, thank you to all the people who pointed out my typos. Really appreciate the help. =) Alright, I'll shup up now. Enjoy!
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*Knock knock* “Natsuki, would you like some hot tea?”

The bathroom door swings open abruptly and a towel clad Natsuki emerges. She sidesteps her way past Shizuru and quickly charges towards her bedroom. Before Shizuru can catch up, the door to the bedroom is slammed shut.

Ara, did I go too far? ... Considering what I got to witness, it's worth it. Shizuru shrugs her shoulders. She can't stay mad forever.

*Knock knock* “Natsuki?”

“Go away.” That woman is always taking me for a fool. She totally did it on purpose. Who would wear a tube top right before they go take a shower?

What can I say to lure her out? Hm ... “If I go take a shower now, will Natsuki deliver a towel to the bathroom to dry me off afterwards?”

“No!” Damn, I took her towel. Wait, MY towel. I shouldn't feel bad about this. The fuming girl reaches into her closet and grabs a light purple towel. Opening the bedroom door for a few inches, she holds the item in question out through the small gap. "Here."

Taking a hold of the offered article, the older girl is just about to open her mouth to say something when the bedroom door closes again. Okay, I get the message. *Sigh* Guess I’ll try later. With a defeated pout and the purple towel in hand, Shizuru enters the still warm and misty abode of the magic mirror.

By the time Shizuru gets out of the shower in her white bathrobe, Natsuki is already out of the bedroom. However the leap of joy in Shizuru’s heart is quickly sedated when she realizes that the other girl is asleep on the sofa in her sky blue cotton pajamas with a blanket over her body. Smart move. Natsuki is more cunning than I expected. Claiming the sofa in my absence in order to avoid a head-to-head verbal quarrel with me over who is sleeping where tonight.

Shizuru lets out a disappointed sigh and walks into Natsuki’s bedroom. At least I get to fall asleep while breathing in Natsuki’s essence that lingers in her bedsheets. Hey, is that a body pillow? She is so adorable! Settling down in bed, the chestnut haired girl places the pillow the length of a person next to her so that she is sandwiched by the big cushion and the wall. I wonder if this is what Natsuki does with the pillow to keep herself from rolling off the bed, ho ho. Good night, Natsuki. Too bad you won’t be the first thing I see when I open my eyes tomorrow. *Sigh* Be patient, Shizuru. Your time will come. With that last hopeful thought, Shizuru closes her eyes.

Hours past midnight, the Kyoto woman is suddenly awoken by a series of noises in the living room. First there were the feet shuffling and the creaking door, then the sound of running water, which is followed immediately by an earsplitting toilet flush. This is one of those few occasions when I’m thankful for being a light sleeper. Okay, I need to stop thinking about this or else I’m going to turn into a pervert. Shizuru, breathe. Think unsexy thoughts. Frogs, frogs, frogs …

To her surprise, Shizuru hears the sound of the bedroom door opening. Staring fruitlessly into the absolute darkness, she can only deduce that someone is moving around the room judging from the rhythmic footsteps. The dark curtains are blocking all the moonlight. Now I can’t even tell what Natsuki is doing. Did she forget something in the room? Wait, I think she is getting closer. Lying on her back, the older girl can feel that the body pillow had been tossed to the floor. A few seconds later, Shizuru’s mind shuts down as the realization of Natsuki getting into the bed hits her.

In her half-awake state, Natsuki apparently forgot all about her new roommate and trailed back to her bed with wavering steps after going to the bathroom. Flopping herself down on the edge of the bed as usual, her first impulse is to grab onto the body pillow that is usually situated between her body and the wall. The smoothness and warmth of tonight’s ‘body pillow’ fail to alarm the blue haired beauty as she is spellbound by her dreamscape. Acting purely on her instinct at this point, Natsuki drapes an arm across Shizuru’s shoulder and swings a leg over the older girl’s lower body. Within seconds, she has settled her face at the hollow of Shizuru’s neck. A moan of satisfaction escapes her sealed lips before the steady breathing leads her deeper into unconsciousness.

Shizuru was holding her breath and keeping her body still throughout Natsuki’s innocent yet titillating maneuvering. Wow, THIS is unexpected. Is it my birthday today? Feeling the humanoid koala bear tightening her hold gradually, the physically stiff girl begins to worry about her ability to breathe properly. Shizuru, you know what they say. No pain, no gain …A sudden vibration on her neck seizes her attention. Ara, is Natsuki talking in her sleep? Kawaii! Shizuru lowers her head a little in order to decipher the mysterious language of Natsuki’s dream world.

“… I love you …”

WHAT??? A cupid’s arrow pierces Shizuru’s heart. Am I dreaming? Natsuki, do you really feel that way about me?

“… good. You taste so good …I want more …”

Shizuru blushes madly. Is there a big bad wolf underneath the innocent façade? What is Natsuki doing to me in her dream?

Third time is the charm.

“… I can’t live without you. I love you, mayonnaise …”

Shizuru’s heart instantly sinks to the bottom of the icy cold ocean. Must fight the urge to tickle her to death for putting me through this emotional rollercoaster. Don’t want to wake her up just yet. Crimson eyes fixate on the fast asleep figure who has a childlike smile plastered on her face. How can I have the heart to disturb my sleeping beauty? Hmm …I wonder if I can give her a hickie without waking her up. Hehe, I’d love to see the look on her face when she spots it tomorrow morning. The sensation on her neck once again alerts the scheming girl. What is she saying now?

“… Stop it. It tickles. You’re such a meanie, Shizuru …”

Judging from the blush and the grin on the sleepy head’s face, she definitely likes whatever the other me is doing to her. *Sigh* Fine, you’re forgiven. Sweet dreams, my princess. Shizuru lifts up her head and kisses Natsuki on the earlobe. Now I need to catch up on some sleep to prepare myself for the exciting morning to come, ho ho.

The next morning …

At exactly 7 am, the radio alarm clock dutifully sets off a deafening melody of Linkin Park’s ‘Runaway’, successfully covering up the happy chirpings from outside the window.

Out of habit, with her emerald eyes remain tightly shut, Natsuki tries to locate the offending apparatus that can be usually found underneath her body pillow. However, it soon dawns on her that the pillow has become too heavy for her to lift up with one hand over night. What the …Wait a minute, is it just me or is the pillow bouncier than usual? Refusing to open her eyes to face the sunlight, Natsuki begins thumping lightly on the soft surface with her right hand to test her theory. Weird, I can feel the alarm clock tickling inside the pillow.

“Ow … I gotta say, waking up to Natsuki pounding on my chest is certainly a one of a kind experience, ho ho.”

“AHHHHHHHH!”

TBC.

Shiznat As Roommates!

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:43:34 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part VI)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: R
Word count: 1239

Summary: A fight to the death. Who will have the towel?

Seems like some people have intepreted the last chapter in ways that I did not intend. Not that there is anything wrong, but please refrain from making overlty sexual comments in my reviews. I just don't want to cause discomfort for some of my readers. Thank you very much. Please keep in mind that the message is not meant to discourage reviews. That being said, please enjoy the new chapter!
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With a dark blue towel wrapped around her body, Shizuru adjusts her posture on the sofa while quietly sipping the lukewarm tea that Natsuki had prepared earlier. Who would have thought my plan would work out so perfectly? Never underestimate the luck of a Kyoto woman, ho ho.

----Flashback begins----

Staring blankly at the flat screen TV, a pout appeared on the chestnut haired girl’s face as she rapidly flipped through the channels. I don’t think I can ever get used to sitting around and doing nothing while Natsuki does the chores in the apartment. That’s not how I imagined our new life would be like. Hmmm … what’s this? Sunday night anime?

On TV, a stunning figure with long dark blue hair and a yellow hair band was hugging a red uniform tightly in her arms while alone in a lavish looking living room. Shizuru set down her TV remote and watched the scenes unfold. Hey, I know this anime! It’s Kannazuki no Miko! Waiting hopelessly for your love to be returned, huh …Chikane-san, we were more alike than I’d like to admit. If I were you, I would have shot arrows up his sorry butt for taking Himeko out on a date. Wait, you did do that later in the series. Anyways, I know you got your happy ending in the end. So will you wish me luck on mine?

A few more minutes into the show, something caught the corner of those crimson eyes. Ara, we were focusing so much on my injured hand that I didn’t notice the dried blood on my other hand. As Shizuru washed her hands in the bathroom, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, contemplating the recent changes in her life. What a difference a week makes …Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? *Smirk* Natsuki, of course. I do envy your front row seat for the daily Natsuki Shower Show, magic mirror.

Shaking her head at her silliness, Shizuru turned around and spotted a dark blue towel on the rack against the wall. Natsuki’s towel … Suddenly remembering the anime scene on TV, she grabbed the towel and felt its softness against her face, copying Chikane’s earlier movement. Is this what she smells like when she’s fresh out of the shower? Shizuru blushed. I wonder if she’ll notice her missing towel when she walks into the bathroom. Fifty-fifty chance, I’d say. Oh, the things that I can do to get a reaction out of her afterwards …

----Flashback ends----

I don’t hear the water running anymore. Ho ho, she should be in panic mode by now. Time for me to lend a helping hand. *Knock knock* “Natsuki, you’ve been in there for a while, are you alright?” With one hand covering her mouth, Shizuru is using all the strength in her body to swallow her chuckles.

“Hold on, Shizuru.” Gotta find something to cover myself up. Natsuki snatches the oversized men’s shirt that she took off earlier. Weird, I thought I left my towel on the rack last night. I’ll just have to ask Shizuru to go get it. It must be in my room somewhere. *Sigh* Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Stop being so paranoid, Natsuki. “Shizuru, can you do me a favor and get me the dark blue towel in my room?”

“I have it. Open the door.” I wonder if I’ll get to see a naked Natsuki, hehe.

Wait, how could she find it so quickly? Something smells fishy here … *Achoo* Damn, I’m gonna get a cold if I stand around like this. The towel is what matters now. “Come in only after I give you a signal, okay?” Natsuki unlocks the door, steps back and faces away from the door. “Go ahead.”

The grinning girl enters the bathroom and is immediately blown away by the sight in front of her. Wow …

Similar to Shizuru’s situation after the log ride in the amusement park, Natsuki’s wet and tight-fitted men’s shirt leaves no room for the imagination, barely covering up her shapely behind. Unaware of the effect she has on the older girl, Natsuki stands still in confusion at the silence following the creak which indicates Shizuru’s entrance. “Shizuru?” Twisting only her head around, she is startled by the other girl’s outfit. “Why are you wearing my towel?”

Natsuki’s growl brings Shizuru back to reality from her dreamy daze. “Huh? Oh, the towel? You told me to get any towel in your bedroom earlier when I asked to borrow one. So I just grabbed the first towel I saw and changed into the appropriate attire while waiting to take a shower. I didn’t mean to make Natsuki mad …” Covering her face with both hands, Shizuru’s shoulders tremble as she starts sniffling.

This is an act. This is an act. This is … She is untying the towel! Natsuki quickly snaps her head around. “What are you doing?”

Shizuru’s voice cracks a little. “This is what Natsuki wants, isn’t it?” This is too much fun! She is totally freaking out! My Natsuki is so shy. She wraps the dark blue towel around the stiff figure. “Hurry up and dry yourself. I don’t want you to get a cold.”

If the towel is on me, that means Shizuru is … AHHH! How come she has no problem losing her shirt around me? What is this woman made of? “You really didn’t have to do that. I was just about to ask you to bring me another towel. But since I got this towel wet already, why don’t you hurry and get another towel from my room? You can take a shower as soon as I’m done drying myself in here. Do you mind closing the door behind you also?”

“Sure. Your wish is my command.” The wooden door closes with a small click.

Finally, a moment of peace. Natsuki places the towel down on the side of the bathtub and starts unbuttoning the shirt that is clinging onto her body uncomfortably.

“Ara, a strip show just for me. How lucky!” Shizuru brings up her hand to her cheek in her trademark pose.

“SHIZURU! I thought I told you to get out!” Natsuki reaches for the towel straight away and hugs it to her chest, as if the soft material could slow down her galloping heart rate.

“I seem to recall that you told me to close the door, and that’s what I did.” The Kyoto woman flashes a cheeky smile to the back of her crush. “Ne, Natsuki, why are you using your back to talk to me? Not that I’m complaining, because personally, I can stare at Natsuki’s soaking wet back side all day.”

Her frustration overcoming her senses, Natsuki spins her body around. “I had my back turned because you are … NOT NAKED?!?!”

“Ara, who said I am?” Shizuru crosses her arms in front of her white tube top and wriggles her hips clad in cotton shorts a little. “By the way, I see you.” The front view is even sexier, ho ho.

See me? … ARGH! “BAKA!” Natsuki shoves Shizuru out the bathroom and slams the door shut on the older girl. Is this what I have to go through every night from now on? *Sigh* To think that locking the door was enough, I’m still too naïve …

TBC.

Shiznat As Roommates!

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 03:23:42 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part V)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1349

Summary: Shizuru's little kitchen accident. Natsuki washes dishes and herself.

I've heard someone said that they couldn't write Shiznat stories after reading a Shiznat story with a similar topic. It's true. Took me a while to clear my head and come up with some original scenarios and lines. Blah, really feel like I should have updated earlier, oh well. Hope everyone enjoy the new chapter!
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“Shizuru, are you okay?” With Shizuru’s back facing the kitchen door, Natsuki is unable to access the gravity of the situation. Talk to me, please!

“Natsuki …” The girl in the pink apron slowly turns around, her right hand cradling her left. A lone tear rolls down one side of her cheeks against her will as Shizuru attempts to pass off a casual smile. “Do you have any paper towels?” Great job proving your competence in the kitchen, Shizuru. *Sigh* No more daydreaming about Natsuki in a bikini while handling sharp utensils!

“Jesus, your fingers are bleeding. Hold on, the paper towels are right over …” Natsuki is greeted by the sight of a naked paper towel holder on the counter. Shit, I meant to go to the supermarket to restock. “Let me take a look at the cut. What happened?” Wrapping her hands around Shizuru’s gently, she brings their hands up to take a closer look at the steadily gushing wound.

“The chopping knife slipped out of my hand when I was washing it in the sink. Oh no, the blood is rolling down my fingers! My favorite apron …” A surprised gasp. Followed by a healthy pink blush. Utterly speechless …

Perhaps it was the thought of saving Shizuru’s favorite apron from getting tainted that drove Natsuki to do it. Perhaps not. Whatever went through Natsuki’s head at the time no longer matters. As if all senses of her body are concentrated on the tip of the tongue, the only thought remains is the bitter taste of Shizuru’s blood. Natsuki smiles.

A silly idea passes through Natsuki’s mind. If she can take in as much bitterness as she can into her body, will it lessen Shizuru’s pain? Natsuki subconsciously sucks harder on Shizuru’s bleeding index and middle fingers. Her fingers are so smooth … like well polished gem stones.

Shizuru closes her eyes, parting her lips slightly. Between the tingly feeling on her arms caused by the caress of blue tresses and the warm and moist feeling on her finger tips, the Kyoto beauty feels like she is floating in air. Natsuki, if you keep sucking on my fingers like that, you’re going to turn me into an addict for this mixture of pain and pleasure. Please don’t make me lose control … “Natsuki, that’s enough. Thank you.”

“Hmm …” Releasing the trembling members from her lips, Natsuki looks up with glazed eyes, feeling disorientated and short of breath. Meanwhile her hands are still sheltering Shizuru’s wound, applying just the right amount of pressure to the back of Shizuru’s hands.

That look in your eyes …Be still, my heart. “Would Natsuki mind getting me two band-aids? Natsuki?” A zoned out Natsuki is so cute, ho ho.

“Huh? Oh yea, band-aids? Right away!” Letting go of Shizuru’s hands abruptly, Natsuki runs over to the bathroom to get a hold of her first-aid kit. Snap out of it! What’s wrong with you? Were you going to stand around till Shizuru bleeds to death?

Within ten seconds, Natsuki is back at the kitchen with band-aids in hand. “Hold still.” While wrapping the band-aids around the older girl’s slender fingers, Natsuki keeps peeking at Shizuru, trying to detect any signs of discomfort, of which she finds none fortunately. “Do your fingers still hurt?”

It breaks my heart to see you looking so worried. “They won’t be as soon as you blow on them and chant ‘Boo boo, go away!’” Shizuru holds out her hand with a teasing smile. That’s better. The flustered look suits you well, Natsuki.

“I’m not chanting.” The frowning younger girl blows out a big puff of air on Shizuru’s fingers and speed walks to the sink. “Let me finish washing the dishes for you. Now go out and watch some TV. I’ll bring you some tea later.” I admit that I can’t cook, but washing dishes? HA, a piece of cake.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting.” Shizuru smiles and gazes longingly at the back of Natsuki who is busy rolling up the sleeves of her slightly over-sized light blue men’s shirt. I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you. Natsuki …how much you’ve grown since I first met you at the flower garden. Now a part of me is scared that you won’t need me to look out for you anymore. How silly of me …

Half an hour later, Natsuki walks out of the kitchen and finds Shizuru dozing off at the sofa. After setting down two cups of hot green tea on the table, she sits down next to the resting figure and taps on her knee lightly. “Shizuru, wake up. If you’re tired, why don’t you go take a shower before going to bed?”

The chestnut haired girl stirs a little in her nap and opens her eyes slowly. “Natsuki? Wow, I can’t believe I fell asleep.” Blinking rapidly a couple of times, she lets out a series of giggles to the blue haired girl’s surprise. “Ara, did Natsuki jump into the sink to scrub the dishes clean?”

“Wha …” Natsuki looks down at her body to where the other girl is pointing. Hey, when did that big water stain get there? “Argh! That’s just the way I wash my dishes, okay?” No wonder I thought the kitchen got colder all of a sudden.

“Perhaps you should wear my pink bunny apron next time.” Natsuki will look so adorable in pink!

Damn, I knew I forgot something. Wait, pink bunny? No freak’in way. “Uhm, I’m going to take a shower now.” She sprints towards the bathroom with a face matching the color of Shizuru’s favorite apron. The way Shizuru was looking at me is like I’m already dressed up in that god awful outfit. *Shudders*

Soon the sound of running water can be heard coming out of the bathroom. Stripping out of her clothes, Natsuki steps into the shower and welcomes the comforting warmth of the hot water. *Sigh* Nothing beats a soothing shower after a hard day’s work. This time I remembered to lock the door so that nobody will be barging in. Yup, I’ve learned my lesson. Natsuki can only shake her head as she thinks back to the time when Shizuru marched into the bathroom with only a small towel wrapped around her curvy figure. And she was about to take the towel off to reveal her body in front of me like she was just taking off a winter coat. Thank god I pushed her out the door before that towel dropped down. What a shame …AHHHHHHHH! I meant, relief. RELIEF!!!!

Natsuki presses on the shampoo pump madly, accumulating a big glop of shampoo in her palm. As if her slip of the tongue is somehow related to the grease in her hair, she massages her scalp roughly with the jasmine flavored milky white substance, trying to erase the existence of her naughty thought earlier.

An unexpected knock on the door makes Natsuki’s heart skip a beat.

The melodious Kyoto ben bypasses the wooden barrier. “Natsuki, would you mind if I …”

“No!” Just because you knocked and asked nicely this time, the answer is still no. I can’t deal with taking a shower with you right now, Shizuru. This is all too complicated …

“*Sniff* I just wanted to borrow some fresh towels from you since my towels had been in my suitcase all day. If Natsuki values her towels so much, then …”

“Ahhhh! I’m sorry. I thought you were asking to join me in the shower.” God, this is so embarrassing. Now I seem like the one with the dirty mind! “You can grab any towels you see in my bedroom.”

“Why would Natsuki think such a thing?” Ho ho, actually that was going to be my next question. “Don’t use up all the hot water, okay? I’ll be waiting in the living room.”

Stepping out of the shower finally after a few minutes of peaceful silence, Natsuki extends her hand towards the wall out of habit. Next, a sharp intake of breath. WHERE IS MY TOWEL?

TBC.

Shiznat As Roommates!

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:08:49 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part IV)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1596

Summary: Ninja Kenta. Shiznat finishes moving in. Dinner for two.

This chapter is a little different from my usual chapters because I pressed the fast forward button a couple of times while writing. Hopefully that won't be too distracting. I just had ideas for little scenes in my head. I realized today that I write about Natsuki's inner thoughts more often that I write Shizuru's. Considering my own preference for the characters, definitely interesting indeed...
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With his body conveniently hidden behind a queen size bed floor sample, Kenta looks up at the now smiling Natsuki who is waving to someone a couple aisles away. “Dude, why am I hiding?” On second thought, I’ve never been someone’s dirty little secret. This is kinda cool.

Green eyes never leaving the Kyoto beauty for a second, Natsuki tries to minimize the movement of her mouth as she whispers to the crouching figure. “With Shizuru’s photographic memory, she’s going to recognize you from the amusement park. Like you saw earlier, I’m not exactly the most sociable person on the planet. What is she going to think when she sees us talking to each other?” I’m probably over-reacting, but I just don’t want to give Shizuru the wrong idea …

Thinking back to the apparent killer intent behind the chestnut haired girl’s smile at the park, Kenta can only shudder at the memory. “Okay, you have a point. Here.” He scribbles his name and phone number on a trash receipt on the floor and shoves the paper into the back pocket of Natsuki’s biker suit. “Listen, Kuga. You seem like a cool person. If you need relationship advice or just wanna chill and talk about your third base experience, give me a call.”

“Fuck, did you just slap my butt?” Argh, if only Shizuru wasn’t coming this way, I would have kicked your ass so hard that you’d triple your pants size by the end of the day!

“What can I say? You do have the nicest ass in town. *Wink* Peace out.” Kenta does a ninja roll on the floor towards a stack of dressers and disappears from Natsuki’s sight.

THAT IDIOT! No matter how great of a job Natsuki did to keep the smile on her face, she could not fight back the pink shade on her cheeks brought on by her anger. At least he left before Shizuru got here. I hope she won’t notice my …

“Ara, is Natsuki blushing?” On the way over, Shizuru has noticed the frozen expression plastered on the blue haired girl’s face. Something must have happened while I was at the check stand.

One simple question is enough to send Natsuki’s heart racing. Deny everything! Act normal! “Really? That’s weird. I was just reading a magazine.”

“Hm ... ” Natsuki is obviously hiding something from me. But do I want to pressure her into telling the truth?... That is not really my style. “Were you reading something naughty?”

“Shizuru!” As if they’d sell porno magazines at Fukea!

After their bed purchase, the girls have decided that Shizuru would go back to her apartment to pack her bags while Natsuki would head back to hers to clean out her study room. The plan was for Shizuru to take a taxi to meet up with Natsuki later at their new home. The consensus was not immediate, but Shizuru ended the discussion citing the inefficiency of Natsuki’s motorcycle in transporting her suitcases.

A couple minutes later as Natsuki drops off Shizuru, the older girl had to swear on her tea leaves that she would not forget to bring the mayonnaise over before Natsuki agrees to leave. While Shizuru walks towards her apartment, the younger girl vigilantly scans the area for suspicious mousy looking men with the scenes of this morning playing in her head. It is only after Natsuki loses sight of her best friend that she starts her engine with a sigh of relief.

Stepping into her apartment, Natsuki empties her pockets routinely next to the phone. Looking down at the crumbled receipt with barely legible handwriting, something catches her eyes all of a sudden. Wait, his last name is Eto. Why does that name sound so familiar?

Her train of thought is disrupted by the sudden ringing of the apparatus in front of her. It can’t be the tattoo guy calling me, right? Duh, I didn’t give him my phone number. “Hello?”

“Natsuki, it’s me. Bad news. People from Fukea just called, and they said their delivery truck broke down and they won’t be able to bring us the queen size bed till tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I should just stay in my apartment tonight …”

“No!” Natsuki quickly covers her mouth, surprised by her own outburst. Why do I feel like she might just call off the whole moving in thing if she stays at her apartment for the night? Stop being so insecure, Natsuki! But still … “Why don’t you sleep in my bed tonight and I’ll crash on my couch? Let’s just get the moving in over with today. Since we have school tomorrow, we’ll probably be busy.” Nice save, Natsuki!

Natsuki’s suggestion inadvertently puts a smile of the Kyoto woman’s face. “I feel bad making Natsuki sleep in the living room. Why don’t you take the bed and I’ll …”

“Ahhhh! Just come over already. We can discuss the sleeping arrangement later. I’ll be seeing you tonight.” Natsuki hangs up the phone before the other girl can reply. As long as I can get her butt over here, even if I have to sleep on the floor tonight, I can care less. Knowing Shizuru, she’ll leave her apartment for sure after how I hung up on her.

Just as Natsuki predicted, Shizuru shows up at her front door with suitcases and plastic bags in hand later that night. Natsuki hurriedly takes over the bags and settles everything down in the newly cleaned out study room. Exiting Shizuru’s new room, she searches for the other girl and hears sounds of cabinets opening and closing from the kitchen.

Poking her head out of the kitchen, Shizuru calls out to Natsuki with a solemn look on her face. “I hereby declare this kitchen my domain. Natsuki, you cannot live on mayonnaise and cup noodles alone. And what’s the matter with all the beer in the fridge? From now on, I’ll be in charge of stocking up your fridge and your food cabinets, any questions?” Hopefully Natsuki can kick off some of her horrendous eating habits with my supervision. I just want my Natsuki to be happy and healthy.

*Sigh* I half expected her to react this way. I guess there’s really no way around it. “Okay …” Slumping her shoulders like a kid confessing her wrong-doings, Natsuki initiates her puppy eyes attack on the older girl. “Do I at least get to try the mayonnaise that you made me tonight?”

Stepping out of the kitchen with her own pink apron with bunnies in the front pouch, Shizuru replies with a smirk. “Only if you’d let me cook for you from now on.” People don’t change over night. The best I can do is to change her menu gradually. Ho ho, I’ll take that bright smile on your face as a yes, my dear Natsuki. Tonight is a night of celebration. Why not indulge Natsuki a little?

So …CUTE!!! Unbeknownst to Shizuru, Natsuki’s joyous expression is brought on by her fascination with Shizuru’s new look. Shizuru will make a great wife one day. Ahhhh, I can’t imagine any guy claiming her as a wife. Stop thinking about this, Natsuki. Now Shizuru has a concerned look on her face. Look what you have done! Smile, damnit!

Dinner was filled with amiable small talks and periodic laughter. For the entire meal, Natsuki was busy cleaning out the plates of seaweed flavored mayonnaise scrambled eggs, mango flavored mayonnaise popcorn shrimps, and wasabi flavored mayonnaise broccoli. Meanwhile Shizuru had prepared herself a nice bowl of rice soaked in green tea and was happy to keep her chopsticks away from the other three dishes she made.

Towards the end of the meal, Natsuki suddenly dumps some broccoli with light green creamy sauce into Shizuru’s bowl. “I love your new creations. You have got to try it out!”

Observing the little chunks of creamy sauce floating defiantly on the surface of the green tea in her bowl, Shizuru feels like her stomach is doing somersaults against her will. “Uhm … I’m full. I think I’ll go wash the dishes now.” Yes, I made the dish. But I just can’t deal with mayonnaise in my tea right now.

With the delicious mixture of mayonnaise stuffed in her mouth, Natsuki mumbles after a slight pause. “I’m almost done myself. Do you need help in the kitchen?”

“If Natsuki comes in to help me, I don’t know if I can get out of the kitchen by the stroke of midnight.” Reminiscing about the time when Natsuki almost burned down half of her own kitchen while trying to make a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, Shizuru is not so sure about her dish washing skills.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Is this because she heard about the small fire in my kitchen? Damn Mai and her big mouth!

“It’ll just be faster when I’m working alone. How about you go watch some TV and I’ll come out later with some hot tea?”

A yielding nod and an apologetic smile later, Natsuki finds herself staring blankly at her flat screen TV, not caring about the fate of the characters in the show. I didn’t ask her to move in with me to be my maid. *Sigh* Maybe I can ask Mai to give me some cooking lessons. That way Shizuru won’t be stuck with the household chores all the time.

“Ow!” The pained cry is followed by the noise of metals clashing against each other.

“Shizuru!” Natsuki rushes to the kitchen with her heart pounding loudly in her ears.

TBC.
___________________________________________________________________

As you can see, I've decided to let Kenta live for now and avoided a direct confrontation between Kenta and Kaichou-sama. If by now you still do not see the significance in Kenta's last name, please go back to chapter two. This relationship will prove very interesting in the future, haha.

Shiznat As Roommates!

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:46:27 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part III)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1387

Summary: Reasons behind the queen size bed. Natsuki Vs. Kenta (Who's this?).

I'm bringing in a semi-new character! Can anyone guess who it is before scanning down the new chapter? I know that Mai or Nao is usually a good choice for the counseling best friend role. But you just gotta love somebody with a big mouth and absolutely non-politically correct speech patterns, haha.

___________________________________________________________________

On their way to the bed frame / mattress section to look at the queen size beds, Natsuki tries to reason with Shizuru. “My study room is not that big, if you put in a bed that size, you won’t be able to fit a desk in there.” Now that Shizuru is a university student, she probably needs a lot of room to study. I don’t want her to move in and have to sacrifice her study habits.

“It’s okay. I don’t need a desk normally. I’ll just buy a laptop lap desk and use my computer in bed.” And if I absolutely need to use a desk one day, I can just sneak into Natsuki’s room and use hers. Way to break into her room with a legitimate reason, Shizuru!

“Why do you need such a big bed?” Natsuki stares at the other girl with a quizzical frown. I’ve seen her bed in her apartment. It was about the same size as my full size bed. Hm … I guess she didn’t really have a choice since she didn’t buy the furniture.

Finally arriving at their destination, Shizuru walks over to the nearest queen size mattress and sits on its edge. “Just in case Natsuki wants to have a slumber party in my room.” I can’t tell you that I expect you to move into my room one day, can I? With a teasing wink, she pulls on Natsuki’s arm and causes the blushing girl to fall on the mattress with her face being the first impact point.

Pushing herself up immediately, Natsuki rubs her reddened nose tenderly. “Shizuru!” She glares at the giggling figure who is now lying on the mattress on her back with her arms raised above her head.

“Just kidding.” I’m not kidding. “My real concern is … What if I fall off the bed one night while twisting and turning in my sleep?” Shizuru turns on her side and balances herself with an outstretched elbow, glancing at Natsuki with a raised eyebrow.

Feeling a bit uneasy under Shizuru’s intense gaze, Natsuki crosses her arms in front of her chest and turns her head to the side. “I seem to recall that last time I slept over at your place, you remained in the dead center of the bed the next morning. I was the one who rolled off your sofa and woke up on the floor with a stiff back.” Damnit, why do I need to bring this up again just to prove her wrong? Bad memories …

The older girl brings her hand to her chest and fakes a sarcastic look of disbelief. “I could have fallen off the bed in the middle of the night and climbed back up to my old spot before you spotted me. You wouldn’t have known.” The ordinarily elegant Kyoto woman flops down on her back in a childish manner. “Plus I like having the option of rolling around in bed if I want to.” To emphasize her statement, Shizuru flips over and pins Natsuki down with her upper body suddenly. “Who knows who I might find trapped underneath me one night?”

Her hair is tickling my face. I can smell the shampoo she used last night. A flustered Natsuki looks up at the innocent-looking face only inches away from her own. Wait, that is NOT what I should be thinking about right now. People are probably staring at us! “Uhm … a burglar?” Her movement constrained by the body on top of hers, Natsuki tries her best to sink into the mattress.

“*Humpf* Natsuki is no fun.” Shizuru releases her hold on the other girl with a cute pout on her face. Patience, Shizuru. You don’t want to push Natsuki too far in public. Wait till you are alone with her. “Would Natsuki like to test out the other queen size mattresses around here? We can pick one out then go back to my apartment and grab my things.”

It does not take long for the two girls to find the perfect mattress. Shizuru then proceeds to pick out an elegant looking bed frame made of redwood. As the older girl waits in line to finish her purchase with order forms in hand, Natsuki excuses herself to look at a magazine rack a couple aisles away.

Natsuki is surely surprised when she spots a motorcycle magazine hidden behind some home improvement journals. Hey, I don’t have this one! Lucky! Suddenly an unexpected poke on her lower back makes her hand freeze in the air, onlyinches away from her target magazine.

“That’s a nice tattoo you got there. Whoever put that tattoo on you is a genius!”

Natsuki swivels her body around angrily and is taken aback by the familiar face. “It’s YOU!”

The young man in his late twenties with stylish short red hair replies with a smirk, “DUH! With that biker suit that you are wearing today, only someone with X-ray vision will know about your little ‘I-LOVE-MY-GIRLFRIEND’ tattoo on your back. Well, someone other than me of course.” Just as Natsuki is about to open her mouth to retort, he beats her to the punch. “Yea, yea, yea, she’s not your girlfriend. I remember that line.”

“Argh! What the hell are you doing here?” God! Talking to him is almost as exhausting as arguing with Shizuru! …Well, except I can always beat him up when I’m speechless.

“Geez, nice seeing you, too. Can’t you react like a normal person and say stuff like … *in high pitch voice* What a surprise to run into you in Fukea. Don’t you think we are meant to be friends?”

The blue haired girl glares at the smiling young man. “What kind of sane person would want to be friends with you?” That voice change bit was kinda creepy …

“Ouch, that hurts. To show you how sincere I am, I’ll properly introduce myself first. The name is Eto Kenta. High school graduate. Tattoo artist extraordinaire.” He takes a gentleman bow towards the seemingly not impressed Natsuki. “Why do I have the feeling that you might castrate me if I call you Natsuki-chan?”

“Because I will do it without blinking if I ever hear those four syllables coming out of your mouth again.” Ha, that should scare him off. Wait, what is up with that look? Unable to ignore the mixture of hopefulness and sadness on Kenta’s face, she grumbles following a sigh of defeat. “Kuga is fine.” On second thought, this guy is not that bad. Yes he talks too much, but he did help me punish that jerk in the amusement park.

Ecstatic about Natsuki’s revelation of her last name, Kenta chuckles as the corners of his lips curl up to form a nice crescent. “Alright then, Kuga-san. Just curious. What are you doing here in Fukea on this beautiful Sunday morning?”

“Shopping for a queen size bed.” Not used to doing small talks with people she barely knows, Natsuki is not sure whether she should ask Kenta the same question even though she does not really care about his reply.

“So I see that the girlfriend is moving in. Way to go, champ.” Kenta punches Natsuki lightly on the shoulder.

*Sigh* Why do I even bother clarifying the relationship between Shizuru and me in front of this guy? “Even though we are roommates, we are not sharing the same bed! She’s just buying a queen size bed for herself because she likes to have the option of rolling around in it.” Reciting the reason Shizuru gave her just moments before, Natsuki is confident that they can just drop the topic at this point.

Kenta throws an arm around Natsuki’s shoulder and whispers to an eyebrow twitching Natsuki. “Are you listening to yourself? What kind of lame excuse is that? You two are so gonna get it on.”

“AHHHH! SHUT UP!” Natsuki slaps Kenta hard on the chest, which causes the victim of the assault to tear up. “Don’t look at me with those teary eyes. You deserve it.”

“That was uncalled …” Before he can finish his complaint, Kenta finds himself being pushed violently to the ground. “Don’t be so rough, will ya? Despite my tough exterior, there is a gentle soul in there.”

“Shuush! Shizuru is coming. Hide!”

TBC.

Shiznat As Roommates!

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 03:42:35 GMT

Title: Roommates Diary I - New Routines (Part II)
Author: ficeler37
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: PG
Word count: 1391

Summary: Annoying guy tries to hit on Shizuru. Shiznat arrive at the furniture store.

When I first started writing this chapter, I was not expecting the hit on part to be so long. I have a habit of dragging out scenes. Oops... Half the stuff I planned for Ch. 2 is now going to show up in Ch. 3, haha. I like it when my chapters have a healthy balance of Shiznat moments and random third person interactions.
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Early the next morning, Natsuki and Shizuru exchange a brief phone call as soon as they wake up and decide to hit the furniture store first. The reason being Shizuru’s current pieces of furniture are not hers since they came with the apartment. On the other hand, moving things over to Natsuki’s apartment will not be as labor intensive, thus eliminating the need of renting a truck. The girls estimate that they can probably finish the moving by the end of the day.

It is now ten in the morning, and Shizuru is standing in front of her apartment. Today the Kyoto-born girl is dressed in a long light brown skirt and a white plain sleeveless V-neck, which shows off just the right amount of her beautiful cleavage. That was so silly of me. Standing in front of my wardrobe and wondering if Natsuki is going to notice what I’m wearing. She’s not a pervert like you! *Sigh*

Gazing longingly at the quiet intersection, Shizuru begins visualizing the sight of a dark blue motorcycle making a skillful left turn into the main street accompanied by roaring engine sounds. I don’t think I can ever get tired of seeing her ride that motorcycle. My Natsuki is so cool … If it wasn’t for my amazing self control, I would have swooned like one of her fangirls every time I see her.

“Good morning, Fujino-san. Excellent weather today, don’t you think?” A low raspy voice appears to Shizuru’s right, interrupting her pleasurable daydreaming.

Shizuru’s eyebrow twitches in annoyance for a split second before she turns to greet the mousy looking man she barely knows. “Ara, you are my landlord’s son, Eto-san, right? Good morning to you, too.” Courteous mask designed for random strangers. Check.

“If you’re waiting for a taxi, I can give you a ride. I just bought a brand new sports car last week. I think I can hear the leather seats and turbo engine screaming for you.” God, that smile. I’m so going to score. Yea, I don’t have the best looks, so what? Women dig nice cars. That’s a universal rule. Eto shakes his car keys in front of Shizuru as if that will make her more likely to take the bait.

“That’s a nice offer, but no thank you. I’m waiting for a friend to pick me up. Your sports car sounds like a wonderful investment. However, to be honest, I’m more of a motorcycle girl myself.” Take the hint. NOT interested.

Sadly the egomaniac cannot read between the lines. “So where are you heading off to? Doing anything that a nice gentleman can tag along with?” She’s probably too shy to ask me to give her friend a ride too. Do not fear, for I am a bonafide gentleman.

This will be a good time to break the news. “Actually I’m moving out of here to live with my friend, so we are going to the furniture store this morning. Would you mind letting your father know that I will be returning the keys at the end of the month?” I’m sure that deep down, there is a decent person in there. But that voice? I can feel the goosebumps on my arms.

Change of plans. This gorgeous woman is moving away. I gotta cut to the chase. “Hey, do you want to go out some time? By the way, did I mention that I just graduated from law school and am now working a very well paid job at the best law firm in Fuka?”

“Eto-san, first of all, I’m very flattered. With your qualifications, I’m sure there will be women lining up to date you. Unfortunately my heart belongs to another, and that’s why I cannot go out with you. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I’m the rightful successor for the president seat of Fujino Corporation?” Somehow I don’t think money is going to be an issue in my life. You think you can use your wealth to get me to go out with you? Mister, you have no idea who you are dealing with.

Eto feels like the loud engine humming noise from the intersection merely serves to amplify the heart breaking noise only audible to him. Suddenly he realizes that the noise is emanating from a motorcycle coming straight at him. What the fuck! Am I going to die here? He crosses his arms in front of his face hurriedly, unable to face the gruesome death being projected into his mind.

In steep contrast, the chestnut haired girl barely flinches as she fixates her gaze at the fast approaching vehicle with a curious smirk. Should I call her behavior childish? Who am I kidding? Shizuru, you love it when she makes a flashy entrance.

Natsuki slams on the brake at the very last minute and her bike screeches to a halt a few feet from Shizuru and Eto, leaving a black trail on the cement ground. Flipping up her eyeshield, she first smiles at Shizuru, then glares coldly at the stranger who looks like he is going to pee in his pants. “Who’s this?” Right to the point.

The older girl walks graciously towards the back of the motorcycle and takes out her helmet from the compartment. “Natsuki and her form-fitting biker suit. How nostalgic.” Shizuru doesn’t need to look at the other girl to know that she is blushing underneath her helmet. “This is Eto-san, my landlord’s son. Eto-san, this is the friend who I’m moving in with.”

The man cursed with an unfortunate voice can only stare wide-eyed at the two girls surrounded by completely different auras. Words catch in his throat as he witnesses his dream date hopping onto the motorcycle as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

As soon as Shizuru settles into a comfortable position, she twists her head around to bid farewell. “As you can see, Eto-san, there’s only room for two. Have a wonderful ...”

The end of Shizuru’s sentence is drowned out by a deafening engine sound. Natsuki skillfully maneuvers her metallic best friend and dashes away, leaving a coughing Eto who is struggling to keep the flying dust out of his mouth.

“Shizuru, are you ever alone? Don’t you find it annoying when strangers talk to you?” That guy is not even attractive! Him and Shizuru standing side by side is like an eye sore. He doesn’t deserve her.

“Ara, is Natsuki the one who is annoyed? I personally don’t mind the attention.” Scratch that. I can tolerate timid flirtatious girls, but not men, period. But it’s too much fun to tease my Natsuki, ho ho.

“Who’s annoyed?!?! I just don’t understand why people have to flock to you.” If only Shizuru can wear a sign that reads ‘GET LOST’ whenever she’s waiting for me.

The arms wrapping around Natsuki’s waist tremble slightly, and Shizuru whispers into the other girl’s back. “Natsuki thinks that I’m not attractive enough for people to hit on?” Goodness, I can’t hold my laugh in any longer. My stomach muscle is going into a spasm!

To Natsuki, the sensation around her torso area only seems to convince her that she has made Shizuru cry. “Are you kidding? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen!” SHIT! She wasn’t supposed to know that. *Sigh* Too late. Well, I hope this is enough to lift her mood.

“Oh …” This is one of those rare occasions that Shizuru finds herself blushing heavily at Natsuki’s words. “Thanks.” Does she really mean it? If this is a lie, I wish to never find out the truth. Words cannot explain the warm tingly feeling inside of her. Shizuru simply smiles.

For the rest of the ride, Shizuru grabs onto Natsuki firmly, trying to savor every last second of their close contact. Finally they arrive at the local furniture department store – Fukea. At the entrance, the girls look at the map which details the exact location of each type of furniture.

“So what’s the first thing you want to get for your new room?”

“The first and only actually. I think I can share everything else with you.”

“Look! This flyer says that full size beds are on sale. This is great!”

“It doesn’t really concern me. I’m going to buy a queen size bed today.”

“QUEEN SIZE?”

TBC.